50 Creative Ways Scheming Kids Try to Delay Bedtime

LOL 17

child sneaking out of bedI love bedtime with my kid. We crawl into her bed, settle ourselves among the sea of stuffed animals, Pillow Pets, and books, and I finally have her captive in one spot where I can ask her about her school day. It's blissful. But then I get up to go downstairs to do all my important adult-after-kid-goes-to-bed things -- OK, OK, to veg on the couch with my iPad and the TV remote -- and that's when the drama begins.

As every parent knows, putting your child to bed is easy. Getting them to stay in bed takes Harry Potter-style wizarding skills.

Kids will make up ANY excuse not to stay in bed. No really, their imaginations know no bounds! Behold just a few of the wild and wacky delay tactics kids use daily (nightly?):

1. I have to pee.

2. I need a drink of water.

3. That drink of water made me have to pee again!

4. It's not dark out yet.

5. It's too dark; I'm afraid!

6. I'm just checking to see if you're still up.

7. [Fifteen minutes later] Oh, I guess you're still up, Mom.

8. [Ten minutes later] I thought you'd be in bed by now, Dad.

9. I just wanted to say good morning! [Nice try kid!]

10. I forgot to tell you I love you.

11. You tucked me in, but I had to get my book when it fell on the floor, so I need you to tuck me in again.

12. It's not fair; you don't have to sleep alone!

13. My nightlight is too bright.

14. My nightlight isn't bright enough; I can't read by it.

15. My belly hurts!

16. My foot hurts!

17. I just scratched my bug bite that you told me not to scratch, and I'm bleeeeeeeding!

18. Can I have a Band-Aid for this [points at skin completely devoid of anything even resembling a boo boo]?

19. I need a hug!

20. I need another hug!

21. I didn't kiss Daddy.

22. I kissed Daddy, but I didn't want to make you feel bad. I want to kiss you too, Mommy.

excuses kids use to delay bedtime23. There's a giant bug in my room [which will have mysteriously flown away when you get there, Mom].

24. There's a giant bug OUTSIDE my room.

25. But I didn't finish the daily challenge on [insert name of pointless video game here], and if I don't do it, I'll lose EVERYTHING.

26. I want to know what happens next in the story. Just one more chapter, please?

27. My stuffed animal fell out of bed [and I walked past it, down the hallway and all the way down the stairs to ask you to pick it up].

28. I didn't say good night to the guinea pig.

29. My shadow is really scary!

30. I thought you were lonely out in the living room without me.

31. Oops, I didn't finish my homework.

32. Can we go over my spelling words again?

33. I want to make a picture for my teacher because she's so cool!

34. What's this word in Ramona the Pest mean?

35. I forgot to tell you something REALLY important!

36. Can the cat come sleep with me?

37. [Twenty minutes later] The cat is snoring, and it's keeping me awake!

38. Can we have pizza for dinner on Friday night? [This will be asked on a Sunday night.]

39. Where is heaven?

40. [Five minutes later] Is GG-Pa in heaven?

41. [Two minutes later] What about Taylor's hamster? Is there hamster heaven?

42. I can get up now; I'm not tired anymore.

43. I had a nightmare!

44. I had a good dream, and I want to tell you about it.

45. I smelled food.

46. Did you make my lunch for tomorrow yet?

47. [Five minutes later] Just making sure you put PB&J in my lunch for tomorrow.

48. [Two minutes later] Wait, no, I want ham and cheese!

49. Talking about food made me hungry. Can I have a yogurt?

50. Can I have a drink of water?

And they wonder why parents drink?

What are your kid's craziest excuses for getting out of bed at night?


Images via © iStock.com/antfoto; Jeanne Sager

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Rebec... Rebecca7708

Just last night my youngest child told me he couldn't sleep in his bed because the dog pooped on it. The dog definitely did not poop on his bed.

Choco... Chocodoxies

My daughter (5yo) is very goal driven. We routinely make goals for her to work toward and if she accomplishes them in the time period given, she earns her prize. Currently she is learning our whole address for the prize of a new baby doll.  Who doesn't like the idea of earning a trophy, especially one that you can pick out and play with? Not only that, but her self esteem grows with each goal reached, and they aren't easy goals (no more nighttime diapers, clean bedroom for one month, etc.).

She was particularly bad with bedtime. Bedtime would last for over an hour and almost always de-evolved into mommy or daddy losing patience, and her crying. Finally we put a goal on the table. Two weeks of no calling down the hallway, and she could earn a prize. Two weeks is a LONG time to a 5yo... but she did it. She was so proud when she earned her prize that she ran through Toy's 'R Us gripping it to her chest, told the cashier all about it, and called both grandparents when we got home. She even took it to school for show and tell. We are proud of her, and she is so proud of herself for working hard and acheiving a goal. Not only does she have the prize, but she has learned something new and that boosts her self-esteem.  She beamed with pleasure... and we enjoy an extra hour of adult time in the evening after her one and only kiss goodnight. 

Foley... Foleygirl24

My DS once told me he couldn't sleep because his bed was too comfortable. Yep.

April... AprilJune

I can't tell you how many times my 2 year old yelled "I'm huuuungry!" after being tucked into bed...not even an hour after finishing dinner (we eat late). My husband ALWAYS gave in ("I can't stand the thought of her laying in bed hungry....what if she really is?" he always said). After months of her getting up to eat, and half the time getting treats from Dad (we call him the weakest link lol), I found the solution: I gave her carrot sticks that she had to eat in her room. I would go in and check on her to make sure she didn't choke. More often that not, she fell asleep with them in her hands, without taking even one bite. Within a week, she stopped with the "I'm huuuuunry"!

Otillua Tear

my 5yo sons biggest one is i miss my daddy he knows it get me everytime since his daddy is gone alot he works out of town i usually let him come lay on the couch but it just makes things worst im working on changing this

LuvDx LuvDx

The frogs outside are too loud they are keeping me awake

amand... amandajoy21

My son once told us he couldn't go to bed because there are monsters on the moon and he didn't want them to get him.

Corlin Mitchell

When my daughter was 2 I had just bought a kitchenet for her.  She woke up at 2am and came down stairs and I was doing homework and I asked why she was up she declaired, "I have to cook!"  We would have to put the kitchenet on the porch when we were eating dinner and put a blanket over it at night.  I think I have heard every excuse but this one is my favorite :)

nonmember avatar AnatomyCat

I love it when they throw up everywhere, then come into your bedroom with that really quiet, shaky "I think I just threw up. Can you make a bath for me?" and then they lie back down on the mess and go to sleep. I've only experienced this younger siblings, cousins, and nieces and nephews, and that particular phrase sends shivers down my spine.

Katy Shaw

"I tried to go to sleep but I can't fall asleep". You've been in bed thirty seconds, kid.

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