50 Creative Ways Scheming Kids Try to Delay Bedtime

LOL 17

child sneaking out of bedI love bedtime with my kid. We crawl into her bed, settle ourselves among the sea of stuffed animals, Pillow Pets, and books, and I finally have her captive in one spot where I can ask her about her school day. It's blissful. But then I get up to go downstairs to do all my important adult-after-kid-goes-to-bed things -- OK, OK, to veg on the couch with my iPad and the TV remote -- and that's when the drama begins.

As every parent knows, putting your child to bed is easy. Getting them to stay in bed takes Harry Potter-style wizarding skills.

Kids will make up ANY excuse not to stay in bed. No really, their imaginations know no bounds! Behold just a few of the wild and wacky delay tactics kids use daily (nightly?):

1. I have to pee.

2. I need a drink of water.

3. That drink of water made me have to pee again!

4. It's not dark out yet.

5. It's too dark; I'm afraid!

6. I'm just checking to see if you're still up.

7. [Fifteen minutes later] Oh, I guess you're still up, Mom.

8. [Ten minutes later] I thought you'd be in bed by now, Dad.

9. I just wanted to say good morning! [Nice try kid!]

10. I forgot to tell you I love you.

11. You tucked me in, but I had to get my book when it fell on the floor, so I need you to tuck me in again.

12. It's not fair; you don't have to sleep alone!

13. My nightlight is too bright.

14. My nightlight isn't bright enough; I can't read by it.

15. My belly hurts!

16. My foot hurts!

17. I just scratched my bug bite that you told me not to scratch, and I'm bleeeeeeeding!

18. Can I have a Band-Aid for this [points at skin completely devoid of anything even resembling a boo boo]?

19. I need a hug!

20. I need another hug!

21. I didn't kiss Daddy.

22. I kissed Daddy, but I didn't want to make you feel bad. I want to kiss you too, Mommy.

excuses kids use to delay bedtime23. There's a giant bug in my room [which will have mysteriously flown away when you get there, Mom].

24. There's a giant bug OUTSIDE my room.

25. But I didn't finish the daily challenge on [insert name of pointless video game here], and if I don't do it, I'll lose EVERYTHING.

26. I want to know what happens next in the story. Just one more chapter, please?

27. My stuffed animal fell out of bed [and I walked past it, down the hallway and all the way down the stairs to ask you to pick it up].

28. I didn't say good night to the guinea pig.

29. My shadow is really scary!

30. I thought you were lonely out in the living room without me.

31. Oops, I didn't finish my homework.

32. Can we go over my spelling words again?

33. I want to make a picture for my teacher because she's so cool!

34. What's this word in Ramona the Pest mean?

35. I forgot to tell you something REALLY important!

36. Can the cat come sleep with me?

37. [Twenty minutes later] The cat is snoring, and it's keeping me awake!

38. Can we have pizza for dinner on Friday night? [This will be asked on a Sunday night.]

39. Where is heaven?

40. [Five minutes later] Is GG-Pa in heaven?

41. [Two minutes later] What about Taylor's hamster? Is there hamster heaven?

42. I can get up now; I'm not tired anymore.

43. I had a nightmare!

44. I had a good dream, and I want to tell you about it.

45. I smelled food.

46. Did you make my lunch for tomorrow yet?

47. [Five minutes later] Just making sure you put PB&J in my lunch for tomorrow.

48. [Two minutes later] Wait, no, I want ham and cheese!

49. Talking about food made me hungry. Can I have a yogurt?

50. Can I have a drink of water?

And they wonder why parents drink?

What are your kid's craziest excuses for getting out of bed at night?

 

Images via © iStock.com/antfoto; Jeanne Sager

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