10 Reasons I Wish My Kids Were at My Wedding

Whenever my twin daughters see a photo of my wedding they say something to the effect of, "Nice dress but . . .Where were we?" like they're alarmed and insulted that they were left off the guest list.

It's a funny thing to try and explain to a little kid that they weren't around yet. They used to think I meant they were in the house with a babysitter or in my tummy but not actually "outside" my tummy yet. Not so.

Now, at 7-years-old now, they get it, of course. But what they're still stuck on, I think, is that such an important occasion -- something we mark every year like their birthday -- had nothing to do with them. That's not exactly how I see it. The whole point of the day was to get to them, really. And perhaps they were in attendance in some form. I certainly wish they had been -- here are a few reasons:

  1. To have met their great-grandma who one of them is named after. One of the most vivid memories I have (and I don't have many as it was kind of a massive blur) was how proud she was to be the first person escorted down the aisle. 
  2. To have seen their parents looking young(er) and a lot less stressed out. They've seen it in photos, obviously. But sometimes I wish I could be more of my free-wheeling, silly, everything's-not-so-serious self with my girls more of the time.
  3. Because getting dressed with them there would have been the ultimate play date. The hair! The makeup! Girls chilling out together with fancy clothes and music on.
  4. To have heard all the funny toasts about what their dad and I were like as "kids." We were super funny -- I swear.
  5. The giant, circus-like tent. They would have loved running around and through and under the massive makeshift wedding hall we ended up erecting because of the rain possibility. (It did not rain, probably because we spring for the tent.)
  6. Because they would have brought their iPods and taken some video. We thought we were simply making a smart budgeting decision when we nixed the videographer but now that nothing happens for real unless it's captured on "film," I wish we'd had a pair of mini-videographers to press record. 
  7. To have experienced the historic family reunion our wedding ended up being. For a million lucky reasons, even though schedules never align and things always come up, all of our cousins on both sides were able to be there to celebrate.
  8. Because they love, love, love being flower girls. I've had the pleasure of seeing them hold the little baskets of rose petals and teeter in the grass. They added some serious comic relief which any wedding could use -- especially at that high-intensity pre-ceremony moment.
  9. Because we didn't really feel "married" until we had them anyway.
  10. Instead of a cake we had a selection of local pies. Little did we know our choices were all their favorite flavors.

Do your kids every wonder why they weren't at your wedding?


Image via Katsunojiri/Flickr

girls, friends, weddings


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bella... bellacazzate

This was sentimental and sweet and all, but sweet Jesus, what would it take to get a Stir blogger to proofread their work? I'm a freelance editor. Call me. 

Nelli... NellieAthome

"The whole point of the day was to get to them,"

If true how sad that you feel the only reason you got married was to have kids. You should be getting married only because the person you are marrying is the one you want ot spend the rest of your life with.....

zumba... zumbafreak11

I don't think my daughter has ever seen pictures of our wedding which is just as well because then I'd get the"Why did you get divorced" question and there's really no way to explain verbal and sexual abuse to her. She may be 8, but her ADD makes her immature for her age. Since I was 3 months pregnant for her when I married my ex husband, she was at the wedding.

nonmember avatar Meh

Not everything has to be about the kids.

LadyM... LadyMinni

I'm not sure my kids are going to be invited to my wedding. I don't think weddings are a good place for children. Maybe I'll have them brought in for some pictures, but I don't think I'll actually have them attend. Since they won't even be two years old when it happens, I don't think they'll care.And since "No Children Allowed" will be printed on every invitation, I think I should follow my own rule.

Weddings are about you and your fiance, not your kids. Your kids aren't getting married. In 20-30 years they'll probably have their own weddings, when it can be about them.

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