Overprotective Mom Attends Grade 5 With Her 11-Year-Old Every Day

school deskIt's never easy finding out your child is being bullied. As parents, we're supposed to be their protectors. But just how far do you take the mama bear role? For Jill Trahan-Hardy, being her daughter's advocate has translated into attending school with her 11-year-old every day, shadowing her in the halls like a bodyguard.

Moms and Dads, has it really come to this? Do we really need to give up our own lives to keep our kids safe?

I respect Trahan-Hardy for what she's trying to do. She says administrators at Earl Haig Public School in Toronto, Canada, didn't do enough to keep daughter Harley Campos safe from her tormentors. The girl's bullies got a day and a half suspension for a recent stunt, but otherwise the school's suggestions come off more as punishments for Harley than anyone else.

They've suggested making Harley eat lunch alone in an office or having the girl transfer out of the school entirely.

More from The Stir: Mother Arrested for Assaulting 11-Year-Old Girl But We Can't Blame Her

Awful?

Of course. But is it any worse than having your mother breathing down your neck all day long?

Let me say once again that I respect Trahan-Hardy for pulling out all the stops to keep her kid safe. If more parents took bullying seriously, we might be able to really put a dent in this epidemic.

And yet, the idea of having my mom shadowing me in school makes me want to quote a movie popular in my school days: "There goes your social life."

How do you act like a normal kid when you've got your mom sitting RIGHT there? How do you chat with your friends? Get a boy's attention? Find yourself?

Trahan-Hardy may be keeping her kid from getting her @ss kicked, but she's not exactly making it easier for the 11-year-old to deal with other kids. She might even be making her kid more of a target, as she's now the kid whose Mommy is her bodyguard.

Try shedding that reputation as you head into high school. Kids don't tend to forget things like that. And they hold it over your head forever. Trust me. People still bring up the time I accidentally made a goal for the other team in youth soccer (I was 7 or 8?).

This is the conundrum for parents. When do we have to let our kids fight their own battles?

I say it's when our intrusion will hurt the child more than anything their peers can do. We can't follow our kids everywhere they go forever ...

Do you think this mom is right? Would you shadow your kids at school to keep them safe?

 

Image via phi1317/Flickr

bullies, education

101 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

LostS... LostSoul88

The mother following her is what will make the bullying worse! I does piss me off they said SHE should be the one transfered out of the school rather then the damn bully. 

nonmember avatar Katy

This is only going to make things worse. That said, I've worked in many schools. Few had a bullying plan to be proud of. As a bullying victim this needs to change, but this mom isn't going anything.

Idrea... Idreamofwires

My daughter had serious issues with bullying in her late primary years, and I went there daily for several months to keep an eye on things.  Sometimes the bullying is at a point where it really can't get any worse, and having mom hanging around is better.  Some kids are monsters, and when the school won't (or can't) make it stop, extreme measures become an option.  It's sad how so many parents are clueless as to how their hell spawn treat others.

nonmember avatar kaerae

This won't make it better, but schools do need to start transferring bullies out to alternative schools or online options, rather than their victims. I don't know what type of bullying this was, but in the past year I've read of "bullies" (when will we start calling them criminals?) punching a boy so hard they paralyzed him, a boy being shot, and a girl having her skull fractured so, if this mom is concerned about that, I really can't blame her.

nonmember avatar Nicole

If she has time to go to school with her daughter, why doesn't she take her out and home school her? Save her daughter from further humiliation by following her around in school. She can have her friends visit her at home, or go to their houses, and maybe enroll her in some kind of after school programs that only have the good kids in them therefore avoiding the bullies?

Roni Clark

I'm torn about this. I can certainly understand how the mother feels. We all want to protect our babies. I just wonder how the daughter feels? If she doesn't mind, then I think it's okay. However, they need to get to the root of the problem and that's the bully. I feel like if a kid has been labeled as a bully on more than one occassion and has a track record of harassment, they should be removed from the public school and homeschooled at the parent's expense! Sometimes ineffective parents don't "get it", until their kid's adverse behavior affects them, i.e. hits them in the pockets or they face jail time.

nonmember avatar Wyatt's mom

As a parent that had to call the police and put a restraining order on a child for pulling a knife on my 10 yr old.. if it came to that I certainly would.. but I would follow the bullies, not my kid.

nonmember avatar leona

I was frustrated with my son's high school becuz they said they didnt have 'evidence', it was my son's word against the other boy's..... my son changed & became so reclusive & afraid. he was being harrassed via text messages. I, whom had a past history of being victimized, had enough. i went to the principal, recorded everything & told him 'YOU'd better talk to the mom & boy OR I WILL!!! and you betch ur ass that's a threat!' i described the bully's vehicle & home address & wut would happen if he didn't take a stressed out, worried, single mother seriously! and it would be the principal's fault (i told him).... the bullying stopped like that day. My son has no idea how crazy i was willing to get to protect him. He just thought the bully lost interest.

redK8... redK8blueSt8

Wyatt's mom, I had a similar thought about following the bully. But then the kid would complain that  you were following and then that kids parents would surly hire a lawyer to go after you for stalking and probably child abuse somehow. That's just the way our legal system seems to work out.

Laura Palmer

I am not saying this to stir up trouble, but quite honestly I think this "bullying" epidemic is getting out of control. When someone is genuinely being bullied then OK that sucks and we need to do something about it, but seriously not everything is considered "bullying" kids today are growing up well kind of as sissies. I mean I got in fight here and there, girls talked behind my back, I made friends I lost friends, I got picked on but so what it made me who I am today, and we think every little thing that happens between kids is bullying is ridiculous! If there is really a problem deal with it, but not everything is bullying, most of it is kids being kids.

1-10 of 101 comments 12345 Last
F