There was a time, not all that long ago, when I couldn't imagine happily spending a single night without my children. When I would cry over the thought of a missed bedtime story or morning without seeing their sleepy little faces. When the notion of a bed to myself seemed lonelier than it did luxurious.

That was then.

These days, I've gotten more accustomed to leaving my kids every now and then, and every trip I take, it gets a little easier. But every single time I leave, I suffer the same ailments ...

1. Parental Immunity: The fact that the more I'm around my children, the more immune I become to their annoying behavior. This is evidenced when I inevitably return home from a trip and incredulously ask my husband, "Are the kids always this annoying?" and am met with a blank stare. Yes. They are.

2. Parental Amnesia: The inevitable feeling of forgetting just how annoying the children are once I'm actually away from them. Manifestations include looking through photographs longingly during business meetings or buying souvenirs such as whistles and Play-Doh. The only known cure is returning home.

3. Parental Stupidity: The inability to actually enjoy the solo bed or long shower or time away from the children because I'm so busy missing them.

4. Parental Inevitability: Returning home to my precious children only to long, once again, to get the hell away from them. Of course, no such trip is ever planned, and once it is, the Mom Guilt sets in.

5. The Groundmom Syndrome: The fact that these are repeated every single trip I take, for infinity.

Do you ever experience these torn feelings when away from your kids?

 

Image via Scary Mommy