Early in your first pregnancy, a funny thing happens to most moms. Suddenly, your body becomes public property. Suddenly, people are touching you, asking you questions, and offering advice you didn't ask for. It can be a bit disconcerting. In those early months, people have so much to say.
They ask if your baby is cold, if you are breastfeeding, how much he weighed, if you are married, and all kinds of invasive questions. They also offer up wise advice, especially those women whose children are grown. I totally get it. There is a nostalgia as an older mom that comes with seeing moms of babies, and you want to reach out and tell them everything you know. But the truth is, once you are out of certain phases of parenthood, you really don't know much.
Half the things people always say to new parents and even parents with younger kids than theirs are flat-out lies. Here are the 8 most popular lies people tell parents of young kids and babies:
1. Oh you will never regret another kid: TOTAL LIE. Maybe not overall, on your deathbed. But in moments? Sure you will. Plenty of people do. They just don't say it in public.
2. Enjoy every minute: NO ONE enjoys every minute of parenthood unless they are lobotomized.
3. Your children are so beautiful: Yes, they are. But everyone says this. And not every person is beautiful. So do the math ...
4. It gets easier: Ha. Hahahahah. Sorry, but this one is hilarious. You get used to it, sure. But that isn't the same thing as easy. My kids are so much harder and more complicated to raise than they were at 8 months. I am not complaining, but to say it's "easier" is like some kind of joke.
5. The first year is the hardest: Parents of twins say this to other parents of twins, and parents of kids close together (like mine) say this to parents of kids close together. Guess what? It's not true. My kids are much more difficult now that they can each run in separate directions and often do. They also rile each other up, making them three times as difficult to manage.
6. Your whole world now revolves around your kids: Pshaw. This isn't even good for kids anyway. Sure, they will take precedent over everything else and their needs must be met, but your world will always revolve around YOU. It's just that YOU happens to include kids now.
7. You will never be able to go out and have any time to yourself: This is only true if you let it be true. As I say to every new mom I know: You had a baby, not a lobotomy. You still have control over your life. It's a bit more difficult now logistically, but you can still live your life, too.
8. All babies are a blessing: This is just not true. Tell that to the woman who is accidentally pregnant with her fourth when she could barely afford her three. That's not a blessing. Sure, a wanted baby is a blessing, but it's also a lot of work and not everyone wants that.
What lies did you hear after you had kids?