Is anything more annoying than trying to get your kid to smile on cue when you've got the camera aimed in their direction and you're trying to capture a Precious Moment for the Ages? No, this isn't one of those rhetorical questions meant to serve as a useful segue into the blog topic at hand; I really and truly want to know, IS ANYTHING MORE ANNOYING?
Okay, fine. Probably there are lots and lots of things more annoying than a kid who goes all Jim Carrey with the facial expressions when you just want one single decent image for the love of god, but this particular child behavior quirk is pretty high on my list. Let's say it's right above "Cats who run up like they want to be petted, then shy away at the last minute GODDAMN YOU GET BACK HERE AND SUFFER MY REPULSIVE HUMAN TOUCH" and right below "Exercise pants that give you a humiliating turbo-wedgie at the gym right when that groovy Flo Rida song comes on."
I have literally hundreds of images of both of my kids doing everything other than smiling when I ask to take their picture, but my oldest son is by far the worst offender. Just for fun, here are the top 13 expressions I usually get when he spots the camera in my hand:
THE AWKWARDLY-TIMED NOSE SCRATCH
THE GEORGE W. BUSH
THE HELL NO I'M NOT POSING FOR A CUTE SELFIE WITH YOU, WHAT IS THIS, MYSPACE?
THE CONTEMPTUOUS GLANCE OF WHITE-HOT DEATH
THE CREEPY PHOTOBOMB
THE WEARY A-LISTER CONFRONTING A CROWD OF OVERZEALOUS TMZ PHOTOGRAPHERS OUTSIDE LAX
THE FULL-BODY SQUINT
THE SASSY FOUR-SNAPS-IN-A-Z-FORMATION VOGUE
THE GRIM LOCKED-JAW RICTUS OF FAKE EMOTION
THE TWELVE QUAALUDES (accompanied by his brother, THE OMEN)
THE WOW, HOW DID HE EVEN MAKE THE TWO SIDES OF HIS FACE MAKE TOTALLY SEPARATE EXPRESSIONS, AND WAS HE CHEWING A PLUG OF TOBACCO, OR, LIKE, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
Do your kids suffer from Smile Refusal Syndrome too?
Images via Linda Sharps