Mom Who Won't Teach Her Kid to Share Is in for a Rude Awakening

Rant 73

sharingThere's one type of millennial parenting that really needs to die out. These are the parents who care so much about how other people parent their kids that they're failing completely to parent their own. Take the mom who wrote an essay this week on why she refuses to teach her kid to share.

The way this mom (who goes by Very Bloggy Beth) tells it, if she forces her widdle snookums to stop hogging the toy truck at the rec center, she's really teaching other kids to be entitled brats who think they deserve everything handed to them just because they want it.

As she says:

I think it does a child a great disservice to teach him that he can have something that someone else has, simply because he wants it. And, I can understand the desire to give your children everything they want, we all have it. But it's a good lesson for you both to learn that this isn't always possible, and you shouldn't step all over other people to get these things.

Erm. OK.

Or just maybe -- totally spitballing here -- if she taught her kid to share, she'd teach those other people's kids that not every kid out there is a selfish little brat whose mommy never makes him share? Just a thought!

The sharing issue is a big one in my house because I'm raising an only child. As a rule, she doesn't have to share much because there isn't anyone to share WITH. The dog doesn't demand equal time playing LEGO City on the Wii U; the cat doesn't ask to use the blue blanket while napping on the couch.

So do I just give up and tell my kid she doesn't HAVE to share with other kids? Of course not.

I'm working on raising a kid who is kind and generous, a kid who cares about other people. That's my job.

It's other parents' jobs to do the same with their kids, but I can't control that. And I certainly am not going to roll back my efforts on raising my kid up "right" just to ensure that other people's kids don't turn out bratty. Who would win there? Definitely not me ... or my kid.

She needs to learn to share. Period. Not because other people are entitled to her stuff but because in life, we catch a lot more flies with sugar than we do with vinegar.

She will make more friends if she shares. She will fare better in work environments if she shares. She will be a HAPPIER person if she doesn't have a death grip on everything that's "hers," lest someone else get a piece of it.

As for the kid whose parents don't teach him to share, well, here's betting he will be the kid who thinks he deserves something just because he wants it ...

What do you think of parents who refuse to teach their kids to share?

 

Image by Jeanne Sager

behavior, bullies, family

73 Comments

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dreamsky dreamsky

I'm pretty sure this mom does teach her kid to share. If my kid has a FAVORITE toy and some other kid wants it, I'm sorry but your kid is going to cry because if that kid happens to lose or break my kids toy, I'm not having my kid crying. Parents also need to teach their kid that they can't take someone elses stuff. I always tell my kids hey, that's not yours don't touch. But I do make them share certain things, not everything.

nonmember avatar April

I can't decide if she is teaching her kid not to share, or if she is teaching other kids to wait their turns. I'm all for sharing. But sharing doesn't mean that you have to give up what you have righthisinstant because someone else wants it. It means I will let you use it when i'm done and it's your turn. Or lets play with it together. Not I have to give up my turn because you want it now

Coles... Coles_mom

I think it's a good place some where inbetween. I have three kids, so there is definitely some forced sharing that happens, but I've had my kids sitting at the park or playgroup and some other kid will come over and yank whatever toy they're playing with out of my kids' hands....uh yeah...I'm saying something. I also wouldn't let my kid yank a toy out of your kid's hand either. However, if a kid comes up to mine and asks if they can play with "toy", then I'll usually jump and and suggest that's very nice and they should play together. 


 

amber... amberdotsmom

 ""the cat doesn't ask to use the blue blanket while napping on the couch.""


Of course the cat doesn't ask for the blanket - the cat takes the blanket - because the cat owns the blanket.........and the couch and the room and as far as their concerned everything in the house.  Cat's are fun like that.


IDK - it sort of sounds like she was trying to say she's not going to teach her kid to share anything and everything another kid wants.  There is a difference between sharing while playing together and rolling over and letting others just take your stuff.  And the time and place makes a difference (my kid with his bucket and pail at the beach wouldn't have to give it to a strange kid who walks up and asks for it).  I'm not clear if that's what this Mom was doing and she just had a bad way of writing it or if she's really in the selfish never share group.

MammaSam MammaSam

Depends on who what where when and how. At the park if z has a ball. sure she can share it with another toddler, butif big kids are asking, they're not gonna Olay with my kid, they're gonna go play with it themselves. As a parent its your job to determine the situation and the right course of action. At the beach a kid started throwing all my kids sand toys in the water... Then asked if he could keep a toy and his dad let him. I snapped and took it saying "sorry little guy but this is our toy, you can not have it." The parent was being a jerk and letting the kid try and keep the stuff I bought and paid for so MY kid could have it. Now If he wanted to build a castle with her, sure I'd make her share. I teach her when it is appropriate to share and when its not.

MammaSam MammaSam

As an adult though, if some stranger came up and asked to Olay with my tablet or play with my stuff... what am I gonna say? No. If someone I know wants to use my stuff, and I trust them with it, sure.

MammaSam MammaSam

Why would i teach my kid to do something I wouldn't do?

MammaSam MammaSam

Oh and with kids, what i teach is it can't hurt to ask, but if the other person says no, you need to respect that. So if z says she doesn't want to share her activity or toy, that's her right to play alone. I do tell her it would be nice, but I don't force it either.

Pinkmani Pinkmani

If my kid is playing with something and she don't want to share it, I'm not going to her. Why should you get something just because you want it?


I want a Maserati, but if I ask Kyle Richards to let me borrow hers for a weekend, of course she'll say no.

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