Marina Krim Speaks About Dealing With the Loss of Her Children Since Nanny Killed Them

loveIf life were perfect, we wouldn't know the name Marina Krim. She would just be another mom living with her three kids, snuggling up on the couch on a Friday night, reading bedtime stories, playing board games, and maybe yelling once in awhile. But we all know who Marina Krim is, of course, because her former nanny, Yoselyn Ortega, is about to go on trial for allegedly killing two of Krim's three children.

So it is that Marina and husband Kevin Krim have come to create the Lulu and Leo Foundation in honor of the son and daughter they lost too soon. So it is that what Marina Krim has to say about motherhood has come to matter in ways that probably even she wishes it didn't.

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In a note read aloud at a fundraiser for the new charity, Marina Krim gave parents answers to how she can live through every mother's nightmare:

Kids live in the present and we should too. My most magical moments with Lulu and Leo almost never involved material items. It was the look of pride I would see on Lulu's face when I would pick her up from art class. It was watching Leo's deep brown curious eyes track a caterpillar in the grass. My most important challenge is to remember and see the magic in the present every day.

The magic in the present day.

Not easy to see when you're spending your every day caught up in how to be the perfect parent, how to give your kids better than you got. 

And yet, in Krim's words, I see an answer to it all. 

Perfect. Better. These terms are all relative.

Is a $100 toy better than the cardboard box your fridge came in? To whom?

Is a trip to the park better than lying on the couch with your head on Mom's feet while you both read books quietly? To whom?

Is a made-from-scratch over the course of three hours meal better than a PB&J thrown together in minutes? To whom?

Have you asked your kids?

With talk in my house of a possible trip to Walt Disney World in our future, we've asked our 7-year-old to relate her favorite times from our first trip when she was 4. I expected to hear a litany of rides, to hear about her first meeting with Tinkerbell. Instead she told me her absolute favorite moments were the two nights when we split up and one parent took her to the hotel pool for some devoted one-on-one time.

She wasn't being ungrateful about a trip to Disney. She was being honest about the simple pleasures of being a kid spending time with the people she loves and who love her.

This is the struggle of good parents. It's not that we don't care. It's that we care too much. We focus so much on perfection that we miss out on pretty darn good. But to our kids, pretty darn good is, well ... it's happy snuggles on the couch and playing rocket ship with an old cardboard box. It's being loved and cared for by people who are parenting for all the right reasons.

The Krims are being forced to take comfort in the simple pleasures they gave their kids before their kids were stolen from them. I can only imagine they wish they were in our shoes, learning to let go and find that everyday magic.

Where is your everyday magic? What do you need to let loose about?

 

Image via Mayr/Flickr

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