10 Reasons I'm the Worst Mother EVER

LOL 16

poutingWhen my kid was itty bitty, I used to dream about the elementary school days. I reasoned I'd be able to say "use your words," and she would, and it would all be hunky dory. No more trying to figure out why a screaming infant is all upset with Mom. Big kids can help you solve their problems!

Go ahead. Laugh. I deserved it. Here I am with a 7-year-old and have finally realized that being able to talk just means your kids' outbursts are that much weirder. If anything, knowing why I'm the "WORST MOTHER EVER" just makes me scratch my head. Come on, I can't be the only one dealing with a little angel who quite suddenly runs into the bedroom and slams the door because, OMG, Mom, you DID IT!

It's true, I'm the worst mother in the whole wide world. Behold the evidence:

1. After I spent 17 minutes brushing the tangles out of her hair one morning, I made a rule that she must use conditioner EVERY night.

2. The dog ate her Easter candy. I didn't buy new Easter candy.

3. I don't care if the other kids' moms don't make them zip their coats. I make her zip hers.

4. I refused to buy her a snow cone five minutes after she'd told me she was FREEZING.

5. Her sleepover was cancelled because the other kid was sick. I didn't have a magic pill to make the other kid better. 

6. I said we couldn't go to the library again until she's read at least two books from her own bookshelves.

7. We couldn't go visit the babysitter's new kitten at 7:30 on Sunday night (her bedtime is at 8).

8. Our chicken nuggets are homemade ... and not shaped like dinosaurs.

9. If she doesn't eat "green stuff" with dinner, she doesn't get dessert.

10. I ate the last mozzarella stick.

If she sounds like a brat, well, yes, sometimes my kid is a brat. It happens to the best of them. The rest of the time she's really quite lovely. I swear. I haven't thought about selling her to the zoo (at least not this week ... but it's only Monday).

So how do I keep my sanity? 

Ah, here's my trick! I talk to other mothers. A s--t ton have confessed they have these moments with their elementary-school-aged kids when the kids are completely irrational. The sunny angel suddenly "hates" them just because, well ... they're green bean pushing tyrants who could make Saddam blush.

Turns out I can't be the worst mother in the world because all those other moms are too. Just can't wait to tell my kid ... another thing to slam the door over, perhaps? Bwahahahaha.

So how about you? Why are you the "worst mom ever"?

 

Image by Jeanne Sager

discipline, behavior

16 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

nonmember avatar LAXMOM

OH Gurl just wait!! Wait until she is 10. I have a 10 and 5 year old girls...and you can't imagine the stuff that makes my list...My favorite phrase is "OH WELL!" dog ate your nuggets..OH WELL how many times have I told you not to leave them unattended...I didn't wash your favorite sweatshirt last night OH WELL! guess you'll have to suffer through another day of wearing you North Face fleece!! Mother of the year I am not...but I know one day they will look back..probably when they have kids and be thankful I never catered to their every whim!!

Serab... Serabelle

Kids crack me up! I remember being dramatic like that, and once puberty set in I only got worse! It's ok though, they do have their good moments, and eventually they grow out of it. I just try to find the humor in it when it's happening.

SNAPA SNAPA

Your daughter sounds like a hoot.  Bless her lil' heart!  Heck, bless your heart for having to put up with the dramatics.  :)

nonmember avatar Dawn

My daughter is 10 and I am sure that she thinks I am the worst mother in the world also! I am and equal opportunity disciplinarian. If she is in a group of kids and they get in trouble, well she does too even if she isn't the instigator. It really chaps her when that happens!

Keran... Kerannmer

NO, NO, NO. I never win anything. I am the Worst Mother in the World...you cannot have my title. ;)

LeeshaE LeeshaE

I don't get worst mother in the world I get I don't love you...because you make me do my homework and pick up my toys. I just laugh it off and say but I still love you.

Sue Hirsch

I'm the worst Mom ever, because I've stopped trying to solve his boredom.


 

alway... alwayscurious

I "don't love" my 7yo dd cuz i made her try a new food at dinner, and wouldn't let her have a cookie until she did. "I don't want her to be happy!" She tells me. Btw, she didn't get the cookie.

Susan Carroll

AuntSue


as a mother of six, You sound like a great mom to me.

Bianca Long

"I dont love you anymore because you wont get my toy out from under the bed" (for the 6th time in 30 minutes) that's ok son, i still love you....

1-10 of 16 comments 12 Last
F