Approximately 200,000 people visited Disney World daily over Easter and I may have seen or bumped into 90 percent of them. What I marvel at, aside from the crowds and those Neanderthal looking turkey legs that have lines as long as the thrill rides (WTF?) is the fact that my kids can find things to cry and complain about almost constantly in the place where dreams come true.
Luckily, mine weren't the only ones. Sure my son may have set some kids off when he screamed Mickey Mouse is DEAD in a crowded room? Oh, that happened as I was explaining Walt Disney (the original Mickey) was dead. Um, my bad.
And yes, my daughter may have shed a tear about getting the "wrong" colored magic carpet, but I watched a toddler flailing on the ground exclaiming his ice cream was too "drippy." Nothing like watching other people with their children to make you feel sane! That said, here are things your children will probably cry about in the "happiest place on Earth."
Imagine the following phrases said through dramatic tears, possible foot stomping, and maybe even ground flailing...
- I got wet on that water ride!
- I didn't get wet enough on that water ride!
- That character is looking at me!
- Nemo doesn't look real ... like he does in the movie!
- You took one of my french fries!
- Belle's dress is prettier than mine!
- My socks hurt!
- My hotdog touched my french fries!
- I feel bad for all the turkeys, why does everyone want to eat their legs?
- I'm not tall enough!
- I'm too tall!
- My cotton candy isn't pink enough!
- You didn't see me wave (one out of 15 times) on the carousel!
- You're not fun like the mommy who's getting every character's autograph!
- My ice cream sandwich is melting!
- You won't buy me another cookie, icee, toy, doll, shirt, vinylmation, collector's pin, ice cream, stuffed animal, autograph book, figurine, replica, hat ...
- You didn't let me stop and ask every single person who works in the park if we could trade pins.
- You don't know why Pirates of the Caribbean isn't working!
- You don't know when Pirates of the Caribbean will work again!
- You won't let me try the champagne you got in France!
- You me go on the scariest ride ever (said on anything from a roller coaster to it's a small world)!
- We don't have enough Fast Passes!
- You got a Fast Pass and then I changed my mind and now we can't get another for 2 hours and the day is ruined!
- The monorail is too high up!
- We didn't take the express monorail!
- We took the express monorail and now we don't get to stop in the middle of that cool hotel!
- You parked in Simba, when I wanted to be in Minnie!
- That ride was too fast, too high, too bumpy, to spinny!
- That ride wasn't fast enough, high enough, bumpy enough, spinny enough!
- The Rapunzel doll's hair isn't long enough!
- My Mickey ears are crooked!
- My brother is having more fun that I am!
- We always do what my sister wants to do!
- You wouldn't let us eat in America when we went to the country part of Epcot!
- You made me watch a movie about Canada and I hate Canada!
- I hate Canada and waiting in lines!
- The camel didn't spit on me on Aladdin's Carpet Ride and you said it would!
- I didn't get to sit on the end!
- We didn't get to sit in the front!
- I wanted my own elephant and you came with me anyway!
- The car I created in line for Fast Track wasn't the one we got to drive in!
- You're making me walk everywhere!
- The rides aren't close enough to each other!
- Mickey is on vacation 'cuz we haven't seen him once.
- Why would you bring me to Disney when Mickey isn't here?
Image via Jenny Isenman