17 Most Annoying Things About Parents (According to People Without Kids)

no kidsWhen the STFU Parents blog first came on the scene, parents everywhere were outraged. How dare a childfree woman make fun of us and our precious widdle snowflakes? Moms, Dads, I've got to break it to you ... sometimes our brothers and sisters in parenting are just asking for it. As much as it pains me to admit this (considering I have a 7-year-old daughter), sometimes I'm embarrassed to be a mom. So embarrassed that I read the new STFU Parents book with a box of tissues beside me; some for the tears from my hysterical laughter, some to drown my sorrows that I'm associated with these oversharing nitwits.

And when I came out on the other side, I decided it was time to do something about it. STFU's Blair Koenig has got the bizarre world of oversharing covered. But what else is there? What else do parents do that makes our child-free friends squirm? Could I be making the same idiot mistakes?

Empowered by reading (and yes, laughing at) Blair's book, I decided to find out. What you're about to read are the no-holds-barred answers from friends who do not have children. They were promised two things if they'd be completely honest: anonymity (of course) and that I would not hold anything they said against them.

Parents, some of this will be painful to read. Some will make you laugh. Some will make you cry. And all of it is for your own good:

1. I have worked at restaurants where I often see kids run in to servers and fear that they are going to get a knife or glass dropped on them.

2. I think my biggest complaint is how you have friends with kids and the kids know who you are but play the shy card. You're not shy, you're being rude. Speak when spoken to!

3. People with older kids rarely annoy me. It's the ones who act like no baby has ever cut a tooth before, or rolled over, or sat up. No one wants to watch a video of your child that is longer than 12 seconds long.

4. I hate the "you don't understand" parents. I mean the ones who think single people have never encountered a child (or even other parents have never encountered the uniqueness that is Their Kid).

5. I hate it when parents use "we." "We are walking!" Oh really? You're 34 and just learning to walk? That's weird.

More From The Stir: TMI Alert -- 7 Things We Don't Want to Hear About Your Kid

6. My sister-in-law has a trick I hate. She doesn't feed her baby before we eat, or while we eat, but directly after ... which is a handy way to ensure you don't have to help clean up!

7. I hate how parents act like their child is superior to all other kids. Ohh little Johnny sleeps through the night, Susie is in second grade and reads at a fourth grade level, Timmy is the best player on his soccer team. Hate to break it to you but we all just grow up to join the rat race and none of that crap matters when you become an adult.

8. I get irritated when parents blabber on about being so busy. Soccer games, PTO Meeting, piano lessons. I'm busy too ... just with adult activities!

9. It pisses me off that people with kids use them as an excuse, especially to call out of work. I totally understand kids get sick, but then you see them post pics of them with the kids out somewhere when they couldn't come to work the same day bc the kid was supposedly sick.

10. When I worked at a gift shop, back when Barney was really popular, parents would come in and give their kids a stuffed Barney doll to hold while they were shopping. The kids would chew and slobber on them... then the parents would put the toy back. The kids would scream and the toy was not something in sell-able condition.

More From The Stir: Good Parents Take Advice From the Child-Free

11. I don't like when spouses start to call each other "mommy" and "daddy." That's just creepy.

12. I was at a Target once where this woman was trying to negotiate with her screaming 6-year-old at the front of the store. It went on for the whole 30 minutes I was in the store. I went back the next day and mentioned it to the cashier and he said it went on almost an hour. That kid had opera singer lungs. I have much respect for the parent that turns around and takes the kid home.

13. I guess I most hate that they fall into what we call the "baby hole" and we just don't see them anymore. Why can't anyone get a damn babysitter anymore?

14. What really annoys me, and this comes from strangers and family, is when parents yell at their kids about something they are doing, but never get out of their chair and deal with the kid. And they will make consequences that they never follow through on. Kids pick up on that quick and exploit it.

15. The sheer mess that some kids make when out to eat is astounding, and the fact that the parents make no effort to reign it in drives me bonkers.

16. I hate it when parents talk as if they were the child in photo captions.

17. My biggest pet peeve is "You can't imagine tired, frustrated, pain, etc. unless you've had a child." Bullshit! I work 16-hour days and am responsible for a staff of 50. You had a hard day doing laundry and watching Baby Einstein for the third time.

Ahem. And you wonder why I'm embarrassed to be a mom!

Have YOU done anything on the list? What do you think when child-free folks criticize this kind of thing?

 

Image via dougclow/Flickr

behavior, family

256 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

sylph... sylph_ironlight

As a mom of 2 under 3, I agree with most of these (and am guilty of #11). #17 though? HATE it. You try staying at home with a teething screaming baby, while potty training the two year old, all while doing the housecleaning tasks which last exactly 4.28 seconds until the kids destroy what you just did, and tell me I don't work as hard as you do.  I respect people who work immensely, but hate this idea they have that staying home with kids is all butterflies and kittens and roses. I'll trade you for a week and see what you think of your 'vacation'. When you get done work? You go home and relax. When my kids go to bed? I try and finish what didn't get done during the day, prep anything needed for the next day, get up through the night to feed the baby, clean up after the two year old when he has diarrhea and has a blowout in his bed, then get up in the morning and do it all again.

Rhond... RhondaVeggie

I agree with most of them but some are silly. Hating parents for posting photo captions from the child's point of view is petty plus I personally find a caption saying "look at me, I can stand by myself!" less obnoxious than "my little genius is standing!" for example.



Number 17 totally misses the point. I don't think anyone thinks you can't be tired or frustrated if you don't have kids. It's just a very different kind of tired. I've worked from sunup till well after sundown on a farm before and you are very tired at the end of that but it's a good "I'll sleep well tonight", not the wrung out exhaustion of having little kids.



I do enjoy stfu parents though. I once had a submission featured during Halloween horror week. What an honor!

B1Bomber B1Bomber

1, 6, 10, 12, 14, 15 - these are all actions or lack of actions that negatively affect other people and also happen to annoy other people who do have children.


What people call each other, the fact that they are excessively proud of their children, the fact that babysitters are very expensive, etc...how could this possibly affect anyone at all? Being annoyed by that type of thing is just egocentric.

nonmember avatar Gina

i agree with most of them, but some of them are musings of people who can't understand until they've been there, namely 3 11 and 13. Not that there's anything abnormal about that, but those are things pnly parenyts can truly

nicol... nicoleeolee

Get off your self-righteous soapbox already. No one is going to go out of their way to try to make YOU happy, nor anyone else. Get over it.

Mothe... MotherGrace

I love that first response to 17. I, too, have worked crazy-ass hours like that. I have worked as a server at a Denny's and been there from 8 am one morning until 1 am that same evening, the whole time on my feet. I was EXHAUSTED. And yet I still had to wake up the next day and go to work again. But as a mom to a three month old? I'm exhausted! I spent all day taking care of her yesterday, last night was the one night a month I get to go out baby-free, and I got in MUCH later than anticipated, and still, had to wake up to take care of my daughter for her nightly feeding and play time (bc it's always more fun at 3 am), and again at 7 bc that's when she wanted to play. I'm exhausted ALL THE TIME. more so than when I ever waited tables, or pulled an all-nighter in college.

justa... justamom272

@sylph_ironlight your post made me chuckle. I have 2 under 3 also and just had my first experience with a diarreah blowout about a week ago.

nonmember avatar D

This falls under the category of "just wait until you have kids". I'm sorry but unless you actually have children it's impossible to understand. As a parent im not embarrassed by this list..some of these are just part of child raising. I'm sure before I had kids I thought some of these things too..only to eat my words later:)

nonmember avatar teach

I think with number 17 she was saying that people without kids have a right to be tired (and complain about it) too. On the site she is referencing you see a lot of posts where childfree people mention a busy week and a parent friend will comment "You don't know what tired is until you have kids" or "Complain when you have 3 sick kids" and that is grossly unfair and rude. Working is tiring, parenting is tiring, partying until the wee hours is tiring and I hate it when my fellow parents try to make someone without kids feel like they cannot have a tough and tiring week. Before I had kids I felt tired and had some really crappy days at work too. I made a choice to have my child and while I have the right to complain about being tired, so do they! Why do we have to compare the two? Before we had kids, those all nighters studying were exhausting and made us feel like crap, why are we begrudging them the right to feel how they feel simply because we feel a different kind of tired. We are all tired! There seems to be this trend out there with one-upping people about how busy or tired we are and it is kinda silly. If I am so busy because I have 3 birthday parties and soccer practice, and work etc. then I have done that to myself. Life is not a competition! Sorry-rant over, but if you read the posts on STFU parents and how rude some of our fellow parents are to those without kids, you will get why:-)

nonmember avatar TT

Hello? This is called HUMOR. And as someone who has the "beauty" of both worlds every day, all of these are spot on hilarious. I have either been involved in, guilty of or just plain annoyed by everything on here. I have no sympathy for Mother Grace who had one night out and got home late only to have to take care of her child. Pick your poison. Laugh a little. I promise it won't hurt.

1-10 of 256 comments 12345 Last