7 Things Parents Blame on Teachers That Are Really Their Own Fault

Hot List 59

finger pointingSure we see stories of teachers who abuse children, or use questionable means of discipline in the classroom (duct tape seems to be a recurring theme), but most of them are pretty amazing.

Every day they are entrusted to care for and teach our kids. After a few hours alone with my own two children, I find it mindboggling that they can handle 20 or more for an entire day. Not only that, they have to deal with their parents too -- which sometimes may be even more challenging.

I'm sure there are many types of annoying parents they deal with (I wonder which I might be?) but among the worst have to be the finger pointers. You know, those who blame anyone and everyone besides themselves when something goes wrong. Here are seven things parents like to blame on teachers when -- in most cases -- they really should be blaming themselves.

1. Poor grades

This is the big one. If a child isn't doing well on assignments, it's very rarely because the teacher doesn't like him, or is out to get her, or anything else subjective. It's likely because your child isn't putting in the work or needs extra assistance.

2. The need for extra assistance

The fact is not every child is a genius and some will be stronger in certain subjects than others. If your child needs to spend extra time studying to keep up with the rest of the class, then that's what they need to do.

3. Getting into trouble

Chances are if your kid is getting into trouble a lot, he or she is the problem, not the teacher.

4. Their choice of friends (or lack of friends)

If you've ever tried to chose your child's friends for them, you know well that works. Teachers don't have any better luck.

5. Moodiness when they come home from school

They very well may have been moody at school too. Other kids get overwhelmed by keeping it together at school all day then release when they're home in a familiar environment. It's likely not because the teacher was torturing them all day.

6. They Haaaaaaate school

There are a lot of reasons kids don't like school, but it's their job to go. Teachers can certainly make it more or less enjoyable, but the bottom line is that kids are there to learn not to be entertained, and that lesson needs to start at home with messages about the importance of education.

7. Lack of individual attention and enrichment activities

The fact is most teachers are overworked and underpaid. The best schools and classes have the support of involved parents who step in to assist teachers with such activities. So before you blame a teacher for anything, you may want to ask how you can help first.

What things have you seen parents blame on teachers?

Image via purpleslog/Flickr


discipline, elementary school, education


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sand008 sand008

Teachers are meant to teach and inspire children, their not babysitters but they are with our children most of the day, so I would hope that they would be doing their jobs.

Pinkmani Pinkmani

This list is so wrong in so many ways. Teachers are with our kids for 8+ hours a day, 5 days a week. They are partially responsible for a child's success. The school is responsible for their well-being. As a speech-language pathologist who works in the school system, I am well aware of the reasons why a kid is struggling.

8 times out of 10, the reason why a child isn't succeeding is due to personal issues that they don't have control over or don't know how to handle. (I.e. bullying, parents divorce, undiagnosed learning difference) If they aren't putting in the work, it's probably because they didn't understand the concept from the beginning. It is a rare occasion (unless it's a low-income area) when a child doesn't want to learn or succeed in school.


B1Bomber B1Bomber

Parents who are involved in schools have children who are successful in schools. That involvement can be volunteerng in class, manning the ticket booth at basketball games, attending parent-teacher conferences and PTA meetings...anything that familiarizes the parents with the teachers and coaches (and the kids know about it) makes for a more unified support system.

JaChic JaChic

I disagree with pinkmani and the author. This list takes the blame and misappropriates it. I do not think you can exclusively blame either teachers or parents when kids are failing. They both play a significant role. If you have great parents, but a sucky teacher, it will be challenging for the child to be successful. Likewise, if you have sucky parents, but a great teacher, it's the same scenario. As B1Bomber said, the typically successful children (regardless of whether their teachers are good/ bad) are the ones that have parenal buy-in and involvement somewhere in the educational process. This can be as simple as a parent who will take the time to help a child with homework, actually go to parent/ teacher conferences to figure out why the child is doing poorly, and a parent who heaps praise on a child for doing well in school. It doesn't matter what rules or values are enforced/instilled at school, if these same are not instilled at home, that becomes a huge problem.

nicol... nicoleeolee

I think as parents, teaching our children to recognize and deal with their emotions in an appropriate manner would be a great first step. A lot of times people's actions are based on emotion, adult and child alike. 

It's EXTREMELY  important to positively reinforce and encourage our children to help mold them into secure, confident adults. A well-adjusted child will usually not experience the same difficulties as one who does not know how to cope and express themselves.

MammaSam MammaSam

I take my daughters education seriously, I'm afraid to over work her, but I feel its my responsibility to teaxh her the things she needs to know, and to expand upon anything she learns in school. I firmly believe that the school system limits children to what they want them to know, and its my job to teach her to learn more and to look at every angle and make their own opinions on things. I am going to push her to think for herself beyond doing well in school simply for their paperwork. That's hard to explain and I probably sound crazy, but its the way I'm choosing to parent and educate. Education is a very important thing in my family.

laure... laurenemb

Dude. It's not hthe teacher's responsibility to raise your child. My sister is a high school language teacher and some of the things she gets from parents are absurd. "Why is my child failing?" (because they haven't turned in any homework and refuse to come to extra help). "Well he does so well in other subjects, why can't you just give him a pass so it doesn't bring his GPA down?" (because that's unethical). "What are you doing wrong?" (Besides spending class helping everyone one-on-one, making myself available for extra help every day after school and answering emails if needed every night?)

This article is 100% accurate. Well done, Julie.

nonmember avatar IslandMomOf4

As a mom of 4, I'm no stranger to our schools. We've had some fantastic teachers over the years but there's also been a couple first rate b*tches. My biggest problem with teachers, some of them ask or expect their kids to do something they can't or will not. Example: we had a first grade teacher that refused to let the kids have an afternoon snack. She claimed they needed to learn how to go without food every 2-3 hours. Well, their lunch was 10:40am-11am and didn't get out of school until 2:30pm. She had popcorn on her desk every afternoon and would eat handfuls randomly in front of the kids. She claimed she couldn't go from 11am to 2:30pm without a snack...but expected a bunch of 6 year olds to?! Not all teachers should be teachers. Thank the good Lord for the ones who do their jobs well!!

Olivia Muysken Quarles

For instance my son was diagnosed with a brain tumor in Sept. and I addressed the school took them all the medical documentation needed and he has problems with short term memory so when I had a meeting with all of the teachers and asked them to please make sure work is written down as well as due dates and requirements. Every teacher has done this except one and she refuses, my son is in all honors classes and grades are 98-104 in every class but this one teacher and he is failing in this class due to not turning things in on time or meeting all requirements and when asked again she replied with Im not doing that for just you...

Ashlie Montieth

I agree with some this but I must state from personal experience that sometimes it IS the teachers fault. I am very much involved in my kids school life. I have volunteered and seen first hand that one of their teachers are making learning miserable for her students. She does nothing but scream at the kids from the time they get there til the time they get home, she complains to the students and parents that she doesn't even want to be there, she has had numerous complaints from parents and students for calling children "stupid" and my daughter was one of those kids which is why i started volunteering in the first place. When I confronted the teacher about this she pretty much told me that most of the kids in her class (5th graders) should be back in kindergarten because they're not capable of learning! Needless to say I went to the school board with many other parents and of course NOTHING happened. I requested for my daughter to be removed from that class and was denied. I looked in to homeschooling but it was too expensive, I tried to find a different school but none around here had open enrollment. My daughter has always been an A/B student but she's so miserable she doesn't even want to get up and go to school. So that's why I volunteer to make sure she doesn't start on my daughter anymore at least when I'm there my child can relax. So again sometimes IT IS THE TEACHERS FAULT!

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