Bill Maher Starts a Mom War: No Cookies for Him! (VIDEO)

cookiesSo baking sales -- are they still a hotbed of mommy politics? Do people still care whether you bring homemade or store-bought? Because I feel like this pretend conflict keeps popping up in movies and TV, but in real life, no one gives a shit. Take comedian Bill Maher, who goes out of his way to be annoying anyway, so whatever. But his "New Rule for Moms" is to stop baking cookies from scratch for those school bake sales.

Okay, first of all, who asked you, Bill? Secondly, why is this rule only for MOMS and not all parents? No, you know what? It's much simpler than that. I would like to invite Bill Maher to take a box of Costco cookies and shove it up his butt, because as far as I'm concerned, that is just something he can do. Quit stoking the mommy wars -- especially in such a lame, low-stakes way.

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Bill Maher does not speak for us -- especially since he's not even a parent. What the hell does he care what happens at bake sales anyway? He's got no skin in that game.

Anyway, his premise is ridiculous. So, if you happen to like baking and can find the time to do it, you're a weirdo who's just trying to make everyone else feel bad? Yeah, that's exactly what I think of my friends when they bring their homemade chocolate chip cookies to the bake sale. "You jerk! You're just trying to make me feel guilty! Show-off!"

Please. Here's what I'm really feeling when other parents bake from scratch: "Those look so good. Please, let me buy many. For I did not have time to bake, but you did, and this bake sale benefits both me and the school. EVERYBODY WINS. Om nom nom nom.

The competition between homemaker moms and working moms is over. You know why? Because it never existed. A handful of highly neurotic New Yorkers and Los Angelinos who work in media showed up at their kids' bake sales sometime in the 1990s, felt guilty for not baking from scratch, and decided it was a THING they had to blow out of proportion. They are the only people who care. The rest of us are just glad when other parents show up with anything, even a bag of Red Vines.

I was in charge of food for our annual school benefit. Because I work full-time, including the day of the event, I ordered most of the food. There was guacamole, salsa, chips, a "mezze platter," cheese, and crackers mostly from a grocery that delivers. I ordered a huge batch of my favorite brownies. And then, two moms baked up a few batches of homemade cookies. And you know what? I was grateful and delighted. We're all busy, and we all have different things to contribute. What matters most is that we show up when we can.

How do you feel about other parents who bake -- or don't bake -- for your school bake sales?

  

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