35 Reasons Moms Are Always Late

LOL 58

clockI'm not going to lie to you all and tell you that I was always punctual, but becoming a parent has put a whole new spin on my excuses for being late to meetings, lunches, parties, and appointments.

Back in the day, I was late because of normal stuff, you know, my hair didn't look just right, my alarm clock didn't go off, there was traffic on 95. When my kids were babies, it was explosive diarrhea, Exorcist-style spit-ups, and tantrums that all seemed to happen within moments of us leaving.

Now, between me barely keeping my head on straight and my kids being out of their minds, it's excuses like this:

Sorry I'm late but ...

1. My daughter's socks hurt, or as she put it, her socks "hate her."

2. All of a sudden, none of their shoes seemed to have a mate. NONE.

3. I couldn't find my keys, they were in my pocket.

4. My kids were fighting over who got which seat.

5. My daughter's fingernail hurt.

6. My son decided to wrestle with the dog rather than simply say goodbye, so we had to roll off the fur, but I couldn't find the lint roller, so I had to fashion one from masking tape and MacGyver it off.

7. Both my children had to make a last-minute poop.

8. It seemed like a good time for them to ask where babies come from.

More from The Stir: 5 Reasons School Should Start Later in the Day

9. There was a wardrobe malfunction that led to wet underwear and a much-needed last-minute bath.

10. My son skinned his knee walking to the car.

11. My kids got suddenly parched, which led to drinks, which led to snacks. So we're here to meet you for lunch, but frankly no one is hungry.

12. No one heard me say "it's time to go," even though I said it 20 times ... at various volumes.

13. My daughter decided this would be a good time to have a meltdown over something that happened hours ago. Did I say hours? I meant days.

14. My kids were fighting over who the dog loves more.

15. My son remembered that he forgot to do some homework.

16. It seemed like a good time to ask about puberty.

17. I couldn't find my phone, it was in my hand.

18. My son got a fever on the way to the car.

19. My daughter got a horrible headache. When I told her there would be video games where we were going, her headache went away.

20. My dog, who just went out, decided to pee on the floor.

21. My son found the pee ... with his foot.

22. My kids were fighting over what radio station to listen to.

23. I couldn't find one of my kids, he was waiting in the car.

24. It seemed like a good time to ask about homosexuality.

25. My daughter changed 13 times until she felt she was wearing something that said, "I'm fashionable, but not so chic that I can't meet someone for fro yo."

26. My son was in the middle of a video game.

27. My kids bumped heads getting into the car.

28. My daughter was in the middle of an episode of "insert Disney/Nick show here _____."

29. My son's gums hurt.

30. My kids were fighting over whose tongue is longer.

31. My daughter decided that an old cut needed to be re-cleaned and bandaged. We couldn't find the cut as it had basically healed, so we cleaned and bandaged where we thought it used to be.

32. I couldn't find my glasses, they were on my head.

33. My daughter wanted to draw this picture for you. You better love it!

34. A stuffed animal that we haven't slept with or seen in months was noticed to be missing as we exited the house. Lost signs needed to be made, the milk carton people were alerted, and we ransacked our home to find it.

35. My son fell out of the car while getting into the car.

So what's your excuse?

 

Image via Blue2likeyou/Flickr

your kid asked what, video games, discipline, family, friends, girls, kid activities, sibling rilvary, blogs, comedy, humor, mommy bloggers

58 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

court... courtneycatt

They wanted to bring a toy but then started playing with the toy and forgot I was in the car waiting on them.

MammaSam MammaSam

Haha cute.

Rebecca Peterson

Cute, but some of those explanations are like, really? You can explain those stuff at a later time that day, they don't have to be addressed THAT MINUTE. My kids know I'm the mother duck time. When I say it's time to go, it's time to go. I have actually told my daughter that and she said she wasn't going and I got in my car, started it, and started to back out (I wasn't actually going to leave, but she didn't know that) and got into her carseat. I'm hardly late, except for when traffic is crazy, or I thought the appt. was later than what it was.

LadyM... LadyMinni

I'm not looking forward to the part of motherhood where my kids make me late. I'm never late. I hate being late, I hate when people are late. But little kids don't seem to have the concept of being on time. I'm glad mine are so little that it doesn't happen.


I love the last one. I do that all the time.

momof... momof3inTN

Really? Four children and I'm very rarely late to anything (and if I am it is never because of a "kid" moment, it's only because of an accident on the highway of sudden road construction). Time management and routine are life-savers when it comes to kids. I have my schedule and I build in "time for something crazy to pop up." Then I always make sure to leave early. In my book, if I'm not 5-10 minutes early, I'm late.

Audra... AudrasMommy

Strangely, most of those have been my excuse at one time or another. My son 90% of the time manages to somehow get grass or mudstains on the knees of his jeans just walking out the front door to the van. It's 20 feet and there is a sidewalk all the way there! But no, he has to walk through the grass... ugh. But my kids always make me late. It doesn't matter if I start getting everyone ready to go 2 hours before we have to walk out the door, somehow SOMETHING always comes up that needs to be addressed right that second as we are leaving! I have four children so there is always something.

Lilly Watson

Wow ladies it was a funny, but we see who the perfect moms are. I've said the seat argument a few times to my parents (who understand because they have seen it).

MrsTMN12 MrsTMN12

My 6 month old screams bloody murder if I put him in his car seat, so I am not late, I just can't go anymore!

Roses... Rosesandlilys

My son wanted to go, then wanted to stay home, then wanted to go, then wanted to stay home. Then wanted to stay home, but wanted me to go.

LadyIPNK LadyIPNK

Im a mom (to a toddler & soon to be born infant) & Im very rarely late. I just get to it earlier than when it was just me.

1-10 of 58 comments 12345 Last
F