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Mom Confession: I Co-Sleep With My 7-Year-Old Son

by Mary Fischer on February 22, 2013 at 10:03 AM

little boyMy son will be 7 years old a week from tomorrow, and even though he's a big boy now -- he still sleeps in bed with me and my husband every night. Yes, I said I'm co-sleeping with my almost-7-year-old.

(Go ahead and gasp and freak out a little bit if you want to. I understand.)

Let me make one thing very clear: co-sleeping was something I always frowned upon and never in a million years thought I'd wind up doing -- up until a year or two ago. 

Letting my son sleep in the big bed with me started out as something we did occasionally when my husband was out of town on business. It was fun for my little guy, kind of like a sleepover party. But then we entered a stretch of time where my husband was traveling five days a week for months -- so little dude wound up sleeping in the master bedroom every night.

And somewhere along the way, it became a habit -- one that we've never bothered to break.

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Granted, he goes to sleep in his own room every single night. But at some point, he wanders down the hall to our room and winds up with us. And you know what? We love it. And we don't plan on kicking him out of our crib any time soon.

Actually, it's gotten to the point where I really don't even sleep well until he crawls into bed with us. I toss and turn and wake up over and over again until I know he's safe and sound, in between the two of us in our king-sized bed.

And I know that he's way too old to be sleeping anywhere other than his own bedroom, but I'm still just not ready to break him yet.

Here's the thing -- our son is our only child and will remain our only child because we're on the "one and done" plan. And that's why both of us really want to savor every ounce of the "little kid" phase we have left, because it's slowly slipping away before our eyes.

Before we know it, he'll be locking us out of his room instead of coming into ours at night, so we figure we might as well enjoy the cuddles while we still can.

And if we get to next year and he's still sleeping in our bed before his eighth birthday? So be it. There are worse things in life than having your child want to be close to you.

Do your kids ever sleep in your bed?

 

Image via Mary Fischer

Filed Under: independence, kid sleep

Comments

210
  • jalaz77
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    jalaz77

    February 22, 2013 at 10:10 AM
    Nope. Now our oldest is 7, she will climb into bed with me on my days off if she woken by the sounds of my hubby going to work around 6. Did not do co-sleeping with our first 3 and won't with our 4th. I think what's sad is this mom can't fall asleep til her 7 yr old is in bed with them. She already sounds dependent on him and that can cause some serious mommy issues down the road. Her life though.
  • tuffy...
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    tuffymama

    February 22, 2013 at 10:13 AM
    My oldest slept in bed with me until he was four. The LO is still in bed with us and he will be four in May. I think four or five is the limit, for my comfort and their development. It depends on the family structure. I have an acquaintance whose 8 yo daughter sleeps in the bed with her, and that is because the mother is a lazy parent and is raising a spoiled, rotten, entitled, WHINY BRAT. Co-sleeping can become codependency. You have to do it for the right reasons. If you cosleep because you're lazy and it's "too hard" to keep everyone in their bed and ensure a good night's rest, then don't do it. If you do it because you're generally AP, or breastfeeding at night, or because you firmly believe in the family bed way, or yours is just that kind of close family, do it.
  • Kristi
    -- Nonmember comment from

    Kristi

    February 22, 2013 at 10:26 AM
    I hear people who have one child say things like that frequently. I wonder if I only had 1 child if I would feel the same way or not. We have 3 and right now bed time is the one time a day I can count on hubby time and selfish or not, that is how it will remain. To each his own, we all just want to be the best parents we can be.
  • DebaLa
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    DebaLa

    February 22, 2013 at 10:27 AM

    ... because it's all about you and your hub's self-absorbed experience of this.  ???
    You didn't talk about your SON other than he's a) your one and done child, and b) he's the child wandering into your bed every night. What about his feelings, personality, what's best for him. smh 


  • MammaMel
    -- Nonmember comment from

    MammaMel

    February 22, 2013 at 10:39 AM
    Whatever works for your family. When I was younger I NEVER co-slept w/ my parents, but my sister did until she was 10, and after that she would sleep on the floor next to their bed UNTIL SHE WAS 16!!! And guess what? We both turned out fine! Ignore the negativity, obviously if he comes into your room it's because he is comfortable with it. If you guys like it, all the better. You aren't going to screw him up, you are showing him love, something ALOT of kids didn't get. In my world, the more love shown to a kid the better they will be.
  • jpfsmom
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    jpfsmom

    February 22, 2013 at 10:57 AM
    My brother slept in the same bed with my stepmother until he was almost 10 (while my poor dad took up residence in his un used bed) It did take a toll on their marriage, they are no longer married but my brother is almost 21, he's in college and fairly well adjusted, most of issues I can't say are because he slept with his mom. Personally I thought it went on way too long but it was none of my business and that is pretty much how I feel about anyone who co-sleeps..to each its own.
  • knitt...
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    knittykitty99

    February 22, 2013 at 10:58 AM

    Oh, whatever.  He will sleep in his own bed eventually.  If everyone is happy and sleeping, then what's the harm?


  • meaga...
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    meaganmac

    February 22, 2013 at 11:02 AM

    Well I have 2 kids, ages 5 and 6, and rarely does a night go by where my husband and I don't end up with at least one of them in bed with us.  I was raised in a home where if I was scared, had a nightmare or just needed a cuddle, I was always able to climb into my parents' bed and I raise my kids the same way.  Even when I was a teenager, when I was sick I still slept in my mom's bed.  Most nights they get into our bed without even waking one of us up and we don't even know they're there until morning.  Sometimes kids just need the extra love and attention and, like the writer said, they grow up WAY too fast, so why not enjoy it while we can?


  • MsRkg
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    MsRkg

    February 22, 2013 at 11:19 AM
    I have one child and I am one and done but I never co-slept. I just didn't agree with the practice but to each their own.
  • Leigh
    -- Nonmember comment from

    Leigh

    February 22, 2013 at 11:54 AM
    I don't even have as good an excuse as yours my one and only son sleeps in our bed too and he is almost 8 I have no excuses and if someone comments my retort is I have never seen a 21 year old still sleeping in his parents bed so he still has a few years of love and comfort left in my bed !!
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