Mom Confession: I Co-Sleep With My 7-Year-Old Son

Mom Moment 210

little boyMy son will be 7 years old a week from tomorrow, and even though he's a big boy now -- he still sleeps in bed with me and my husband every night. Yes, I said I'm co-sleeping with my almost-7-year-old.

(Go ahead and gasp and freak out a little bit if you want to. I understand.)

Let me make one thing very clear: co-sleeping was something I always frowned upon and never in a million years thought I'd wind up doing -- up until a year or two ago. 

Letting my son sleep in the big bed with me started out as something we did occasionally when my husband was out of town on business. It was fun for my little guy, kind of like a sleepover party. But then we entered a stretch of time where my husband was traveling five days a week for months -- so little dude wound up sleeping in the master bedroom every night.

And somewhere along the way, it became a habit -- one that we've never bothered to break.

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Granted, he goes to sleep in his own room every single night. But at some point, he wanders down the hall to our room and winds up with us. And you know what? We love it. And we don't plan on kicking him out of our crib any time soon.

Actually, it's gotten to the point where I really don't even sleep well until he crawls into bed with us. I toss and turn and wake up over and over again until I know he's safe and sound, in between the two of us in our king-sized bed.

And I know that he's way too old to be sleeping anywhere other than his own bedroom, but I'm still just not ready to break him yet.

Here's the thing -- our son is our only child and will remain our only child because we're on the "one and done" plan. And that's why both of us really want to savor every ounce of the "little kid" phase we have left, because it's slowly slipping away before our eyes.

Before we know it, he'll be locking us out of his room instead of coming into ours at night, so we figure we might as well enjoy the cuddles while we still can.

And if we get to next year and he's still sleeping in our bed before his eighth birthday? So be it. There are worse things in life than having your child want to be close to you.

Do your kids ever sleep in your bed?

 

Image via Mary Fischer

independence, kid sleep

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babyd... babydoll6316

The children were getting to comfortable in our bed, but we did not want to make it seem like the bedroom was off limits. So now when they do spend the night in our room, they do so next to us on a blow up matress, this way they are still close but also seperate.

Kathy Kalous

I have an almost 10 year old with Asperger Syndrome. She sleeps with me (I'm an independent mom), and has since she was 7. I asked her one time early on why she wanted to sleep with me. "It's lonely in my bed" was the reply. Who can argue with that? She'll go to her bed when she's ready, but in the meantime, she sleeps well.

nonmember avatar Rosalie

My son still sleeps in bed with me and he's almost 5. I have no plans on kicking him out. As you said, soon enough he'll be locking his bedroom door against me. I'm just going to enjoy it while it lasts, and I truly don't care what anyone else thinks about it!

Megan Cady Graham

Mary, ours started co sleeping when my husband was out of town all the time too. at the time (he was 3) it was fun! we'd watch Disney cartoons, and fall asleep, I LOVED IT! then all of a sudden he was 8...not so much anymore. he snores, and he's a cover hog, ANNOYING! but i wouldn't change it for the world! i mean in a flash they go from 3 to 8! i love how all of these people are like, "you're raising a wuss", or "it's damaging him". seriously? get a grip! he's a kid, he'll go to his room when he's ready, it's not really that big of a deal. my youngest, who just turned 3, doesn't want to have anything to do with sleeping in our bed, that's fine too. i'll take my kids how they come, sleeping in bed with me or not. because after a while, they are not even going to let you talk to them or hug them, let alone snuggle with them. :)

britn... britngavin

My 6 year old has sensory issues and his biggest thing is that he wants to be touching your arm or snuggle up on you. He sleeps in his bed about half the time but when he's had a hard day or is over stimulated, it's worse and he needs the contact so he snuggles up with me. I'm a single momma so I don't mind. He's not gonna be little and want to snuggle me forever, he's already started to outgrow it little by little. I love that he's growing up, but man do I miss all the snuggles that I used to get. 

Donna1 Donna1

Our daughter has shared the family bed with us since she was a newborn. Because I had to have an emergency c-section, having her next to me was convenient and safer for both of us. Well, now that she is 10-years-old and dad is finally back home from being out of state for 7 months, she is back to sleeping in her own room. We've gone back and forth with her sharing the family bed to being in her own bedroom. Although I terribly miss having her in there with us, I am grateful she has taken to sleeping in her own bed. Children eventually grow out of the need to spend every night in bed w/mom and dad, or just mom, or just dad. Our daughter is very secure in the knowledge that she is loved, well cared for, and is not a clingy child at all - which those who don't understand sharing the family bed would almost think first - her first day of Kindergarten was harder on me than it was on her. I had a hard time leaving the classroom and my then five-year-old, eventually became a homeroom mom and that then resulted in my becoming an English Language Learner - Instructional Assistant. In other words, a teacher's aide. A postion I proudly held for 3 school years.


 

Daisy329 Daisy329

Our girls (4 and 5) have always crawled in our bed on and off since they've had toddler beds. They usually will go months without crawling with us, then out of the blue they'll start coming in our room during the night for a week or so. I couldn't do that every night (hubby and I like our "alone time" at night and in the mornings which is a no go when the girls crawl in bed with us) but I must admit I feel better at times when they sleep by us because I know they are safe.

Hyman Hyman

I don't think there's anything wrong with cosleeping ... My 18 mo old sleeps with Dh and I as will his sister when she's born in a few months

tuffy... tuffymama

bleedingheart8D, I'm so sorry. It sounds like you're giving your kids the extra love and tender support they need right now. That will probably help heal your heart faster, too.



Rootbear, you have an awesome opportunity to be a force for positive change in that little girl's life. You could keep her from suffering a lot of pain and heartache in the future, if you play this right. I hope it all works out for the best.

jjmue... jjmueller

He's only 7? LOL We still have our 10 yr old AND our 7 yr old sharing with us! (King size bed w/twin - twin for my husband) We love it! If you are comfortable with it then that is fine.


 Actually, "solitary" sleeping is principally a  western practice which is quite young in terms of human history. The practice of training children to sleep alone through the night is approximately two centuries old and many cultures today consider co-sleeping the norm.


Our children have their rooms with perfectly comfortable beds if they want to sleep in them. I'm sure that they will before they get married.


For our family, it just seemed the natural and right thing to do.


My 83 yr old mother can't figure out how we conceived the second child if we were sleeping with our 'baby'. Hmmmm . . . . perhaps she'd be shocked that you don't have to be 'in bed' to have sex!


Some one once tried to warn me of the danger by saying, "I read a study that 10% of those in mental institutions had co-slept with their parents." "Wow!", I responded, "That means that 90% had slept alone!" LOL


Do what feels natural and right for you and your family!

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