Growing Families

6 Things Not to Say to a Mom With 'Lots' of Kids

LOL 232

6 annoying things people say to big families

I wish I could say I was surprised at the stupid things people say to parents, but I'm not. Since having my first child almost 9 years ago, I've learned that parenting is something that everyone, even people who don't have kids, have an opinion about.

Whatever happened to "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all"?

The comments I thought were bad when I had one kid are about 400 times worse now that I have four kids. But today, instead of smiling and laughing like I usually do since I usually have my kids with me when I hear this crap, I'm going to share the craziest things people have said to me and what I'd love to tell them. Or where to shove it.

  1. You do know where babies come from, right? You know, it's funny you mention that because I was just asking myself the other day "Where do babies come from?" and then my vagina piped up and reminded me of the combined 30 hours of labor and all those stitches.
  2. Wow, you really have your hands full! Are you kidding? This is a spa vacation. See, I actually have about 20 more children at home but I keep them all locked in a closet and rotate out the good ones.
  3. You must have a lot of sex. Well, don't tell anyone, but I actually bought these kids on the black market. But yes, I have sex. A lot. Probably a lot more than you do, especially if you say stupid crap like that all the time. 
  4. You are my hero. Oh gosh, thank you. My vagina is blushing.
  5. I'm so glad I stopped at two kids. If you think it's okay to say something like that in public to a mom, in front of her children, I'm really glad you stopped too.
  6. You must like torture. Wait a second. This is so bizarre. Have you been looking into my bedroom?

See also:

8 Things Never to Say to a Mom of an Only Child

5 Things Never to Say to an Adoptive Parent

8 Things Never to Say to Moms of Multiples

5 Things Never to Say to Lesbian Moms

20 Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman

5 Things Not to Say to Divorced Moms


Moms of 3 or more kids, what comments drive you crazy?


Image via Kristen Chase

siblings, family


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ToolA... ToolArmy066

My mom had 11 and whenever I mention it people are like what they didn't have a tv?

mommy... mommyof5cutties

I envy the duggars... how they can run a house so well. And they have a good set of core values that helps... I don't know how Mrs mom has so much energy! I have only a handful(5) currently.. and am exhausted all the time... its not just the pregnancy... I won't be having more after this one as if I did then I would have to ask for state assistance as right now we are just comfortable enough to afford our bills and have room to breath... its amazing how they built their house and have built such a nice life.

Heather Owens Simelaro

Wow. I've heard all of these. I have four, too. But I usually hear how well behaved they are. Still, I am rarely surprised, because anything more than 2 kids is SO non-PC that every well-meaning idiot feels like they have to put their two cents in (if only to prevent overpopulation, I'm sure!). More than comments though, we just get those sideways not-turning-our-head stares, the ones where they're pretending they aren't staring. Can't believe people think we don't notice. I don't care, though. I'm glad I have every one of them!

Jalestra Jalestra

I get #2 a lot. And no my children aren't brats, they aren't perfect, but they aren't brats either. I usually get that comment from a mom with a child who doesn't behave or has had a rough day.

The ones that irritate me usually come from people who just found out I'm deaf. "Oh, aren't you worried your children....?" or "Did you really think it's a good idea to have so many in your situation?" Like it's ok to take a chance with one, but more than that is just abusive. While my deafness has a genetic factor, it was caused by an outside factor that took a shakey situation and turned it into a definite one. Without that outside factor I'd have probably never went deaf. None of my children are deaf, and thanks to my deafness none of them ever will be. 


nonmember avatar Natalie

I have 8 kids let's start there. I am currently pregnant with no.9. I have been getting the look of WTF for a Loooong time now. I am a ver organized person who ejoys my kids!. They are ALL welll behaved at least in public which normally sparks the comment of "Wow they are ALL actually behaving!." "you know what causes that right?" or if I happen to be pregnant again I have gotten "I hope this is your LASt one!." Like I ever ask you to look after my kids?!. My house runs on a tight schedule and is actually probably cleaner than the average home. (it has to be). "I wonder what your house looks like?" comes out of peoples mouths. In front of my kids and my husband I have had people say " He's the father of all of them?!." Actually,yes he is and is a pretty fraking good one as a matter of fact!. Or I have gotten this one..."how can you stand to bring ALL of them out at once?"...SOmetimes I just look at them and just refuse to respond in fear of teaching my kids words I would not want them to repeat.. Telling me my husband needs to castrated or we need to move away from eachother for a few years to avoid more kids is another. Or someone actually told me to let him be with a prostitute to curve his need for sex so I would stop having babies. I try not to let it bother me but sometimes it does suck. We are on no assistance.. My husband is actually blessed with a very good job and I have started my own business as well so we are far from loaners sitting on the system for help.

Lucretia Griffin

i have 4 myself and 2 yrs ago got pregnant with twins, after misacarrying both twins a month apart someone who knew i was pregnant and lost both babies had the never to tell me that the miscarrage was a blessing b/c it was not my place to populate the world. btw she had no kids of her own @ that time.

nonmember avatar patty

you know what i dislike, when i am out in a public place and people with child/children think that i should have to put up with their children. more often than not, the general public, who don't have children with them, or who have children that can behave accordingly in public, are subjected to parents who refuse to watch or monitor their own children; or to parents who just plain neglect their children in public. and they think because it's a public place, that they have the right to do this all the while with their kids screaming or running around like lunatics, and the rest of us just have to put up with it. i refuse, and will say to the parents, "take care of your kids". why should i have my shopping, restaurant, movie, etc experience ruined because of inconsiderate parents. maybe that's why you get the questions you do. perhaps your little angels were behaving like such angel when you got them, and there are people out there who don't want to put up with it. as i say, you had them, i didn't. don't make me put up with them. by the way, i am the mother of 3 boys, all 2yrs apart in age. you know why people didn't ask me those questions, because i didn't make other people have to wear my children's behavior in public.

Heather Hallett

I have a friend who has 5 kids.  I can't imagine saying any of these things to her.  It's her business why she had them.  About all you can do is offer to help in some tough times.  I think if anyone said those types of things to her in front of me i'd question that person's upbringing.

Trixie Pickard

I have 6 children and the only comments I get is, "Wow, your children are so well behaved and polite!" Honestly, having 6 children is a breeze and I really don't understand why people who think having more than 1 is a handful. I am a stay-at-home mother and I consider it a blessing.

nonmember avatar Eric

2 and 4 are not meant to be offensive and should not be taken as offensive. If you're offended by those you need to get thicker skin.

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