I wish I could say I was surprised at the stupid things people say to parents, but I'm not. Since having my first child almost 9 years ago, I've learned that parenting is something that everyone, even people who don't have kids, have an opinion about.
Whatever happened to "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all"?
The comments I thought were bad when I had one kid are about 400 times worse now that I have four kids. But today, instead of smiling and laughing like I usually do since I usually have my kids with me when I hear this crap, I'm going to share the craziest things people have said to me and what I'd love to tell them. Or where to shove it.
- You do know where babies come from, right? You know, it's funny you mention that because I was just asking myself the other day "Where do babies come from?" and then my vagina piped up and reminded me of the combined 30 hours of labor and all those stitches.
- Wow, you really have your hands full! Are you kidding? This is a spa vacation. See, I actually have about 20 more children at home but I keep them all locked in a closet and rotate out the good ones.
- You must have a lot of sex. Well, don't tell anyone, but I actually bought these kids on the black market. But yes, I have sex. A lot. Probably a lot more than you do, especially if you say stupid crap like that all the time.
- You are my hero. Oh gosh, thank you. My vagina is blushing.
- I'm so glad I stopped at two kids. If you think it's okay to say something like that in public to a mom, in front of her children, I'm really glad you stopped too.
- You must like torture. Wait a second. This is so bizarre. Have you been looking into my bedroom?
See also:
8 Things Never to Say to a Mom of an Only Child
5 Things Never to Say to an Adoptive Parent
8 Things Never to Say to Moms of Multiples
5 Things Never to Say to Lesbian Moms
20 Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman
5 Things Not to Say to Divorced Moms
Moms of 3 or more kids, what comments drive you crazy?
Image via Kristen Chase
This Hot Dad Wants to Do Your Ironing
This Hot Dad Wants to Cook You Dinner
This Hot Dad Cooks AND Does the Dishes
Kanye West is Gay?! 
Comments 203
I have 4 kids and the one I hate is "I don't envy you". What do you think you are accomplishing by insulting me and my kids? They are well behaved and polite. Do people think they are being cute or something?
I have 3 , which is not a big family to me, and I get comments, too. I hate when people ask me if we're going to have more. It's really no one's business. And when I get the "hands full" comment, I just tell them they should see my heart.
Sensitive much? None of it bothers me. Some people say the wrong things because they're awkward, like me. I really am a hero to a few moms I know. And who cares if someone doesn't like the fact that I have 5 kids? I'm too busy parenting to worry about it.
I don't judge the majority of the time, the majority of the big families I've seen have been super well behaved, of course one or two may be fighting, but *SHOCKER*, they're kids, they'll pick on each other occasionally.
Now if I see a bunch of kids, one mom decked out in latest fashion while kids are in rags, I may judge a little.
I'm one and done like pink, simply because I know we couldn't afford more than one with the debts we have (paying off, but stil....), and I'm on medication that says DO NOT USE IF PREGNANT. I'm perfectly happy with my little family, and I'm sure the majority of big families are perfectly content.