I wish I could say I was surprised at the stupid things people say to parents, but I'm not. Since having my first child almost 9 years ago, I've learned that parenting is something that everyone, even people who don't have kids, have an opinion about.
Whatever happened to "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all"?
The comments I thought were bad when I had one kid are about 400 times worse now that I have four kids. But today, instead of smiling and laughing like I usually do since I usually have my kids with me when I hear this crap, I'm going to share the craziest things people have said to me and what I'd love to tell them. Or where to shove it.
- You do know where babies come from, right? You know, it's funny you mention that because I was just asking myself the other day "Where do babies come from?" and then my vagina piped up and reminded me of the combined 30 hours of labor and all those stitches.
- Wow, you really have your hands full! Are you kidding? This is a spa vacation. See, I actually have about 20 more children at home but I keep them all locked in a closet and rotate out the good ones.
- You must have a lot of sex. Well, don't tell anyone, but I actually bought these kids on the black market. But yes, I have sex. A lot. Probably a lot more than you do, especially if you say stupid crap like that all the time.
- You are my hero. Oh gosh, thank you. My vagina is blushing.
- I'm so glad I stopped at two kids. If you think it's okay to say something like that in public to a mom, in front of her children, I'm really glad you stopped too.
- You must like torture. Wait a second. This is so bizarre. Have you been looking into my bedroom?
See also:
8 Things Never to Say to a Mom of an Only Child
5 Things Never to Say to an Adoptive Parent
8 Things Never to Say to Moms of Multiples
5 Things Never to Say to Lesbian Moms
20 Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman
5 Things Not to Say to Divorced Moms
Moms of 3 or more kids, what comments drive you crazy?
Image via Kristen Chase
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Comments 203
I've been asked if all my identical looking kids are both mine and my husbands (No, we aren't a blended family, all four of our kids are ours together, married 8 years), or how many "different dads" do my kids have. Hate that one. I've got 4. Conversely, I asked a mom of 8 the other day in the grocery store what they drive, since our van is only a 7 seater. She has a 12 passanger van.
Pinkmani, I am the second oldest of seven children fortunate enough to have some of the best parents EVER. We were so very loved growing up that it was only upon entering adulthood that I realized how few material things we had when I was little. My mother stayed home and raised us, for which I am eternally thankful. I had plenty of one on one time with both my parents, lots of support from them for my athletic and academic pursuits, not to mention built in playmates. I also grew up extremely close to my extended family. What a gift.
Then there's, "Don't you have a tv?"
When they say:
"Wow..you must be busy"...All I think is ...nope not at all. I am completely bored with planning meals, picking up/dropping off kids at their respectable places of activities, breaking up fights between my boys, staying up to deal with sick kiddos or doing the never ending laundry...All while working from home or going into the office.
" Are you planning on having more"? Maybe I am and maybe I'm not...is it any of your business? I just hope you're not since you can't seem to handle your 1 child while I am pretty sure I can handle 1 more.
I only have three, and am done now, but I always get asked if the third was an accident. I think it's because I have a boy, then a girl, and then another girl, and lots of people seem to assume that once you have a boy and a girl, you stop. She actually was a bit of a surprise, but only due to spacing (I wanted three, but wanted a bit more space between number two and number three), but it always boggles my mind how people who I don't know that well, if at all, are comfortable asking me if I was trying to get pregnant or if my birth control failed or something!