Growing Families

6 Things Not to Say to a Mom With 'Lots' of Kids

LOL 232

6 annoying things people say to big families

I wish I could say I was surprised at the stupid things people say to parents, but I'm not. Since having my first child almost 9 years ago, I've learned that parenting is something that everyone, even people who don't have kids, have an opinion about.

Whatever happened to "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all"?

The comments I thought were bad when I had one kid are about 400 times worse now that I have four kids. But today, instead of smiling and laughing like I usually do since I usually have my kids with me when I hear this crap, I'm going to share the craziest things people have said to me and what I'd love to tell them. Or where to shove it.

  1. You do know where babies come from, right? You know, it's funny you mention that because I was just asking myself the other day "Where do babies come from?" and then my vagina piped up and reminded me of the combined 30 hours of labor and all those stitches.
  2. Wow, you really have your hands full! Are you kidding? This is a spa vacation. See, I actually have about 20 more children at home but I keep them all locked in a closet and rotate out the good ones.
  3. You must have a lot of sex. Well, don't tell anyone, but I actually bought these kids on the black market. But yes, I have sex. A lot. Probably a lot more than you do, especially if you say stupid crap like that all the time. 
  4. You are my hero. Oh gosh, thank you. My vagina is blushing.
  5. I'm so glad I stopped at two kids. If you think it's okay to say something like that in public to a mom, in front of her children, I'm really glad you stopped too.
  6. You must like torture. Wait a second. This is so bizarre. Have you been looking into my bedroom?

See also:

8 Things Never to Say to a Mom of an Only Child

5 Things Never to Say to an Adoptive Parent

8 Things Never to Say to Moms of Multiples

5 Things Never to Say to Lesbian Moms

20 Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman

5 Things Not to Say to Divorced Moms


Moms of 3 or more kids, what comments drive you crazy?


Image via Kristen Chase

siblings, family


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lovin... lovingjx3lild

I have 5 children and i've heard all the comments. I usually just come back with a snappy response thats not so nice. I think people just need to mind their business and stop being so rude. Its fine if you don't want a lot of children that is your choice....keep the nasty comments to yourself.

Tina Kruger

I had all three of my kids really close together, in fact i had on every year in till the last year. I get number one all the time. Especially when i was pregnant. I was always said no could you explain it too me. Its funny cause they don't know what to say and usually walked away frustrated hahahahahaha. I even had my dr ask me once if she could use me to show teenagers what happens if you don't use birth control. I personally don't use birth control because i only have one ovary which works when it wants too so its amazing i had them that way anyways. Since they said i wasn't going to have any. 

nonmember avatar Brandy

I have seven and I've heard everything under the sun! But I can honestly say I've never taken offence from peoples comments. It just doesn't bother me. I just laugh and go on. It's my life and my choice and I'm not gonna let any one steal my joy.

nonmember avatar Bethany

I am a stay at home mom if 5 kids (2 being step children) BUT what really gets me is when people say "don't you think you have enough" or "are you on birth control" "you must have your hands full with all these kids" better yet " are all these your kids and if so why do you have so many" well... lets see I have so many because i LOVE kid, yes i do want to pull my hair out sometimes when i have to get the youngest (10 months) from under the computer desk while the next youngest (2) is drawling on the walls while one of the girls is crying because she closed her hand in the door (3) while the oldest two (9 & 11) are fighting over whose turn it is to take the trash out or whose shirt is whose when they already know whose it is all at the same time. I'm never bored i have speech to go to, school meetings to go to, TONS of Dr appointments along with everything else that goes on. Am I on BC?- no its none of your business. Yes- I claim all 5 to be mine and they are very well behaved kids and I'm proud of them. Yes, I also plan on have one more. If how many kids I have bothers people to the point I they have to make rude comments then so be it but they should remember that its not their choice its mine and my husbands. Also don't make these comments in front of the person your are trying to insult kids.

Megan... MegansMom09

I currently only have one kid, but I'd just like to say that I simply don't understand the people who judge those who have several children. Growing up, one of NY best friends was one of 14 children. I was also close to some of my mom's cousin's kids...not all 10 of them, as some were much older; mostly just the ones around my age. When I got married, I married a man who's dad and step mom now have had a total of 10 kids. So I guess large families have always seemed pretty normal to me. I personally wouldn't want that many, but if I ended up with that many, I would love each and every one and I would have no regrets.

nonmember avatar patty

you know what? after reading all the defensive and silly comments from people with there heads in the clouds and too many children on the ground, i believe there is an argument for putting birth control in the water. personally, i think it should be mandatory. i've seen the double digit IQ's out there having babies, and it's scary.

nonmember avatar patty

considering i spelled their "there", definitely an argument for it

rhian... rhiannonaisling

A lot of the comments I get include why my older two don't look anything like me and the youngest does, that I look to young to have this many children (not quite as common the last two years), and complaints because the youngest (10) isin a stroller (wheelchair)/babyseat of the cart when we go shopping. He is autistic so it is necessary for safety. Oh and the comments about well if you know he is autistic why do you bring him out in he is an animal that can't understand them (he may be nonverbal but he understands perfectly) and just what am I supposed to do with him? Lock him in a cage and leave him in the car or at home? And then there are the comments about are you planning to have more and the horrified looks when I say that I want at least one more (two or three would also be good)!

Denise Weiss Asmussen

I had 5 children 6 and under the last 2 boy girl twins, i've been asked ...all from the same father? better you than me,How do you do it I"d go crazy! does your husband ever l;eave you alone? aren't you done yet? too bad you had to have another boy in order to get the girl. Did you husband find the other twins father? Are the twins identical ( one has outdoor plumbling the other has indoor kinda duh)

Marlana Gowder Jones

I can not stand most of them... if you only have 1 or 2 and cannot find time to brush your hair or go to the bathroom. well you have more problems than I do and I have 4...

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