Growing Families

6 Things Not to Say to a Mom With 'Lots' of Kids

LOL 232

6 annoying things people say to big families

I wish I could say I was surprised at the stupid things people say to parents, but I'm not. Since having my first child almost 9 years ago, I've learned that parenting is something that everyone, even people who don't have kids, have an opinion about.

Whatever happened to "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all"?

The comments I thought were bad when I had one kid are about 400 times worse now that I have four kids. But today, instead of smiling and laughing like I usually do since I usually have my kids with me when I hear this crap, I'm going to share the craziest things people have said to me and what I'd love to tell them. Or where to shove it.

  1. You do know where babies come from, right? You know, it's funny you mention that because I was just asking myself the other day "Where do babies come from?" and then my vagina piped up and reminded me of the combined 30 hours of labor and all those stitches.
  2. Wow, you really have your hands full! Are you kidding? This is a spa vacation. See, I actually have about 20 more children at home but I keep them all locked in a closet and rotate out the good ones.
  3. You must have a lot of sex. Well, don't tell anyone, but I actually bought these kids on the black market. But yes, I have sex. A lot. Probably a lot more than you do, especially if you say stupid crap like that all the time. 
  4. You are my hero. Oh gosh, thank you. My vagina is blushing.
  5. I'm so glad I stopped at two kids. If you think it's okay to say something like that in public to a mom, in front of her children, I'm really glad you stopped too.
  6. You must like torture. Wait a second. This is so bizarre. Have you been looking into my bedroom?

See also:

8 Things Never to Say to a Mom of an Only Child

5 Things Never to Say to an Adoptive Parent

8 Things Never to Say to Moms of Multiples

5 Things Never to Say to Lesbian Moms

20 Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman

5 Things Not to Say to Divorced Moms


Moms of 3 or more kids, what comments drive you crazy?


Image via Kristen Chase

siblings, family


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B1Bomber B1Bomber

I don't see how 2 and 4 are insulting or offensive, but then I only have two kids, so what do I know?

kelti... kelticmom

My oldest sister has six kids, and perfect strangers have asked her "Do you not believe in birth control?" "Are you the same religion as the Duggars?" and "Were they all natural?" Yes she does, no she is not, and seriously, wtf kind of question is that?

Evaly... EvalynCarnate

I'm guilty of #4, but I SOOO did not mean it as an insult. The chick had  like 5 kids! I only have two and can barely get my hair combed. The fact that she had all those kids dressed and clean PLUS herself at walmart...Shit. She was my hero :-p

Julie Hull-Wilkins

usually when someone feels the need to say something like that. it is becasue the hoard of kids are acting public none the less

nonmember avatar melanie

I have four, and when we told my husband's mother, she offered to help research tubals! Conversely, since I have ALL BOYS, I've had several people ask if we were going to keep trying for a girl...not that we were in the first place! LOL.

miche... micheledo

Some of the coments get old ,but I think the majority of people are trying to be funny, nice ,or are curious. The only time I was really bothered was when someone made a comment about how horrible life must be and there was was twisted in disgust. It made me sad for them too.

Flori... Floridamom96

Um, 3 or 4 kids is not 'lots'. 6 or more, sure.

IKnow... IKnow0101

@ Julie- That's not true.  I only have two children and I get a lot of you have your hands full and you are not planning on having more are you type questions.  And gosh some children under 5 do act out sometimes.

Laura Ries

I have 6 boys. I have heard every one of them. I've also been asked if I was Apostolic or Catholic. Seriously?!  I've also been asked, "you do know there's birth control, right?!" Yes, as a matter of fact, one was conceived while on the pill, and one was conceived with the IUD in the proper placement. I just don't understand why people think it's OK to be so rude. 2, yes, is insulting. 4, maybe not so much - but it really depends on the context. Usually they say it as though they're the ones exasperated - and that's annoying. I'm proud to be a mom and I'm super proud to be a mom of 6 boys.

miche... micheledo

Wow, Julie, I have experienced the opposite. The majority of those comments are usually followed wit ha compliment on how well the kids do. Which makes me laugh and assure people it isn't always that way! :) We all have our bad days!

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