My Son Isn't Inviting His Whole Class to His Birthday Party & I Don't Care Whose Feelings Get Hurt

Mom Moment 156

birthday cakeIn a little less than a month, my son will be turning 7 years old, and I gotta admit, I'm pretty stressed out about it. And no, I'm not all bent out of shape because he's growing up or because he's not a little kid anymore. Nope -- the source of my anxiety all stems from his upcoming birthday party.

For the first time, we're not inviting all of the kids in his class, and I'm fully anticipating taking some heat for it. But if we invite everyone and they all RSVP yes, we'll have a party so big, it will be tough to handle. Also, while he has a lot of friends, he's not buddy-buddy with all the kids in the class, so having them at his birthday party really doesn't make any sense.

He deserves a fun party, with his good friends, and even though I realize there may be a few hurt feelings among the kids who aren't invited if they hear him talking about the party, it's a risk I'm willing to take.

After all, isn't it a good thing for kids to experience a little bit of disappointment now and then?

I know I want my son to realize he's not always going to win, or get his way, and even though it's not the best feeling in the world -- he's not going to get invited to every single party every single year. I'd rather him get used to being excluded once in a while in elementary school than grow up to be an adult and wonder why in the hell things don't always work out the way he wants them to. (That's what all good parents want, right?)

The kids aren't in preschool anymore, and it's only natural for them to branch off and have separate groups of friends than some of their other classmates. Why should they be expected to invite kids they rarely socialize with outside of school? If we invite them all this year, then we'll be expected to invite them all next year, and so on and so forth.

Personally, I really think it's best to go ahead and break the cycle now, and let my son have a party with the friends he truly wants there instead of inviting kids for the sake of inviting kids. And if a few feelings wind up getting hurt, so be it. If we base every single parenting decision on hurt feelings, we're going to wind up with a society of really bratty, entitled children. (And nobody wants that.)

Do you invite the whole class to your kids' birthday parties? Why or why not?


Image via plindberg/Flickr

elementary school, birthdays, friends


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purpl... purpleflower514

Don't be so self-centered, most of those kids do not care about your kid's party.

MaryC... MaryCimino

I don't believe in big birthday parties, this weekend was my daughters and I told her she could invite 1 friend to the party, the rest was going to be family. I had a grand total of 8 people in my house. I don't believe in the idea of spending big bucks for a party, my birthday is next week and I'm going out to lunch with a friend or two, that's it. You don't need extravagance for birthdays.

LostS... LostSoul88

I will only invite my kids friends. Why should I invite a kid my child doesnt get along with? why should I fork over more money I may not have to invite 20+ kids? 

dirty... dirtyhippiemama

I bet purpleflowers was one of the kids left out from being invited to a birthday party.

zandh... zandhmom2

I never understood inviting "the whole class".  My kids invite the kids that they are friends with and that's it.  After 10, they got to invite up to 5 for sleepovers.

bills... billsfan1104

Just as long as your son isn't a brat and rubs it in the other kids faces, then who cares?

peanu... peanutsmommy1

We did not invite the whole class and had no backlash against it. I don't force my son to pretend to be friends with kids he doesn't care for by virtue of them having a desk in the same room as him.

abra819 abra819

The "and I don't care" part makes you sound like a B

mande... manderspanders

Who on earth invites the whole class??  That is just silly anyway.  At any rate, birthdays should be shared with close friends and family and not be extravagant.

headi... headingsouth13

my kids wont be inviting everyone in their classes either

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