Spa Birthday Parties Are for Spoiled Brats Only

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pedicureIn further proof that it's hard out there for moms who want to celebrate their kids' birthdays without ending up in the poor house, allow me to present exhibit a: kids' spa parties. Yes, you read that right. Wee little children aren't just being spoiled with a day at the spa; they are bringing along a gaggle of their besties to be indulged!

I must be doing something wrong. Here I was married and pregnant before I stepped foot in a spa!

You may have read that as jealousy. You'd be half right.

As an adult woman who feels decadent when she takes half an hour and $7 to get her eyebrows waxed, I did feel the green-eyed monster rising up in my guts when I saw a Groupon land in my inbox for kids' spa parties ("just" $49, down from $100 ... and yes, you still have to pay $25 for each additional kid AND $10 extra for each kid over age 11 to bring the total to a whopping Good God, Who Can Afford That?!).

And then I came to my senses, and my own (blue) eyes started rolling. Sorry, but children do not need spa treatments. And they certainly don't need spa birthday parties.

I say this as the mother of a 7-year-old girl who absolutely adores all things girly. She and her teenage babysitter have played spa at our house, cutting up my yellow squash and putting it on their eyes, soaking their feet in the buckets I use for mopping the floor (don't worry, they were wiped clean first). If I asked her if she wanted a spa party, I can almost guarantee that her eyes would light up, and she'd be hopping up and down with excitement.

Which is why I'm not going to ask her. I'm not putting ideas like that in her head.

She's 7. Letting the babysitter paint her nails with some non-toxic polish at home is all the pampering she needs. Heck, I'll even hire the sitter to come over and paint the nails of every little girl she wants to invite to her birthday party.

But that's about as far as I'm willing to go.

In no small part, my problem is the beauty-focused environment of a spa. They wax. They thread. They strip your skin of "impurities" and make you up.

It is a place where we grown folks go to be improved. Little girls are already perfect.

I'm bothered too by the excess of a spa party. The cost. The spoiling. The one-on-one me, me, me atmosphere.

Adults go to the spa to be pampered because we so rarely are. Little girls are, more or less, catered to on a daily basis by their parents. They hardly need more.

If spa parties for kids are the next big thing, you'll have to count me out. You'll find me at the bowling alley.

Would you throw a spa party for your daughter's birthday?


Image via Pink Sherbet Photography/Flickr

activities, friends, girls


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Lovin... LovinJerseyMama

I let my kids have what they want, in moderation. Instead of throwing a spa party you could always do a mommy and me date with just the two of you. My daughter would love the idea of a spa day and lunch with just me. In fact, I think I'm gong to schedule one now :) I never saw my mother when I was growing up because she was working two jobs to support us. I never had birthday parties because we couldn't afford them. My children will have a chance to enjoy their childhood. Will I be buying them coach bags, iPhones and a Lexus as they get older? Hell no. But I will celebrate and be happy with them whenever I can. A simple mani pedi will not make them into spoiled brats. It's a chance to spend time with their mother. I never had that. But my kids will 

SIMom... SIMomSays

I usually really like your blogs... This one not so much. Who writes your titles? Do you guys come up with them? 

MokaM... MokaMommy

My daughter loves all things girly so my sister and I threw her a princess birthday party. All of her friends came dressed in princess outfits and my sister and I painted their nails and showed them how to make their own glitter lotion. I printed label with princess so-and-so to personalize them. They had a photo shoot and my husband printed out the photos to take home, it cost me less than $50 including the cake and decorations. 

LadyC... LadyClaire

If my daughter wanted, I would totally throw a spa party.  It's cute.  Get a grip.

handy... handy0318

Wouldn't do the spa party, nope.  Even if we could afford it, I wouldn't do it.  I can see making a special mommy/daughter time like JerseyMama, but not a birthday party, no.  

No reason not to have a girly birthday party though.  When my daughter turned either 8 or 9, we did a girly sleepover party... I got different colors of nail polish, face glitter, lip glosses and all things girly and let the girls have at it. They loved it.

ninag... ninag1980

I had a spa slumber party once when I was little.  I wont forget it. It was the one and only time as a child I ever entered a spa.  It made for a special little party with my friends.  But it was a one time thing and never happened again.  I thought it was cool.  Why not.

nonmember avatar Janet

My niece and my daughter both had one. They aren't spoiled in the least. You probably feel the way you do because you weren't loved or pampered in any way as a child. Sucks to be you and your kid.

neslo... neslonturf

We've done a "spa" party for my 7 yr old. Of course it involved painting our toes while watching a movie and eating pizza at our home, followed by cake, then having a dance party until parents came. That's a spa for us!

LostS... LostSoul88

Get off your high horse. There is nothing wrong with CHIDLREn having "spa" type parties. So just because my DD likes er nails painted that means she's spoiled? 

nonmember avatar Ashley

My daughter is three. She has been to the nail salon, she has had a " petite pedicure" which consisted of soaking her feet, lotioning them (as she giggled away), a coat of purple polish and a ladybug nail design on her big toe. It was the most rewarding experience as a mom to a little girl because while she was getting that done, I was next to her having the same done to my feet while we sipped on mango seltzer. She told me all about ladybugs, butterflies, and dragonflies.

Her brain was not polluted by a "beauty-focused environment" and I did not go broke (I am fortunate to have expendable income). Just because you we're unable to go to a spa until after you we're married does not mean its over indulgent for other people to take their children to the spa.

Probably not for her 4th birthday but I can see offering a spa birthday party for her 5th party. Not because I am spoiling her, or creating a self-obsessed beauty-monster but because nothing is more magical as a parent as watching your little girl squeal and giggle because she feels special.

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