I've been quietly searching for jobs since July, when the "D-word" finally came out of the shadows and into the light.
I've been freelancing for years -- I even run my own non-for-profit organization, but the "not-for-profit" part of running that organization plus the irregularity of a freelancer's schedule has made me a bit more than stressed to the gills.
Starting over at 32 isn't easy.
But I've done it. I moved into my first apartment on my own back in October, and while I've woken most mornings drenched in sweat and terrified that I was half an inch away from losing it, I'm still standing. That's a pretty good feeling.
I've been fairly vocal about my divorce, because I think someone should stand up and say that "it sucks" because it does, and pretending it doesn't is a big fat lie. I've always written out my feelings in order to properly process them, and while it's distasteful to some, I don't really care -- it's my life.
What I've kept pretty quiet about is the whole "job search" piece of my life. Mostly because there's not much to be said beyond "it sucked" and "I lived," and mostly because there hasn't been much news.
Not for lack of trying, though. I'd get really pumped up, write a few new resumes, get my job searching pants on, and ... nothing. No call backs, no nothing. Back when I'd originally been applying for jobs, fresh out of nursing school, there were human resource departments you could wander into and make uncomfortable small talk with someone while you applied for jobs.
Awkward as it was, it felt like I'd accomplished things upon leaving -- I'd met a person, filled out the same information (again and again), and left feeling satisfied.
Now? Most companies have gone virtual, which means there's no friendly HR person to chat with. Instead, you fill out the same information, send a resume and a "who's your daddy" cover letter, and wait.
I've heard nothing. From anyone. If I had an HR person to stalk, I'd have put on my stalking pants and wrangled my way into an interview, but when your HR person is a computer? You can't really stalk it. That's just WEIRD.
I got a call on Tuesday evening from a friend, asking if I was looking for a job. Yes, I told her, and quickly she transferred me to her boss, who asked me to come in for an interview the following morning.
Two hours later, I had a job.
A real job. With benefits, salary, a phone, and a gas card.
Save for working out the child custody thing, I'm really excited for Monday.
Now ... can someone please pass the vodka?