I'm About to Become a Working Mom

Being a Mom 11

I've been quietly searching for jobs since July, when the "D-word" finally came out of the shadows and into the light.

I've been freelancing for years -- I even run my own non-for-profit organization, but the "not-for-profit" part of running that organization plus the irregularity of a freelancer's schedule has made me a bit more than stressed to the gills.

Starting over at 32 isn't easy.

But I've done it. I moved into my first apartment on my own back in October, and while I've woken most mornings drenched in sweat and terrified that I was half an inch away from losing it, I'm still standing. That's a pretty good feeling.

I've been fairly vocal about my divorce, because I think someone should stand up and say that "it sucks" because it does, and pretending it doesn't is a big fat lie. I've always written out my feelings in order to properly process them, and while it's distasteful to some, I don't really care -- it's my life.

What I've kept pretty quiet about is the whole "job search" piece of my life. Mostly because there's not much to be said beyond "it sucked" and "I lived," and mostly because there hasn't been much news.

Not for lack of trying, though. I'd get really pumped up, write a few new resumes, get my job searching pants on, and ... nothing. No call backs, no nothing. Back when I'd originally been applying for jobs, fresh out of nursing school, there were human resource departments you could wander into and make uncomfortable small talk with someone while you applied for jobs.

Awkward as it was, it felt like I'd accomplished things upon leaving -- I'd met a person, filled out the same information (again and again), and left feeling satisfied.

Now? Most companies have gone virtual, which means there's no friendly HR person to chat with. Instead, you fill out the same information, send a resume and a "who's your daddy" cover letter, and wait.

And wait.

And wait.

I've heard nothing. From anyone. If I had an HR person to stalk, I'd have put on my stalking pants and wrangled my way into an interview, but when your HR person is a computer? You can't really stalk it. That's just WEIRD.

I got a call on Tuesday evening from a friend, asking if I was looking for a job. Yes, I told her, and quickly she transferred me to her boss, who asked me to come in for an interview the following morning.

Two hours later, I had a job.

A real job. With benefits, salary, a phone, and a gas card.

Save for working out the child custody thing, I'm really excited for Monday.

Now ... can someone please pass the vodka?


child custody, elementary school, exes


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Coles... Coles_mom

I assume your ex husband reads your articles. You mention vodka at the end of every single one of them. Hopefully he's not the vindictive sort when it comes to custody.....

Karma... KarmaGrant

Congrats on the job! I'm a new fan of your blog but must say I love your attitude. I love that you don't lie, the d word does suck as well as the stuff that goes with it. Thank you for being real and showing the rest of us a real take on life.

Karma... KarmaGrant

@Coles Mom - the vodka thing goes with the title of her blog and is a joke.

MsBatman MsBatman

I will be 45 in July.  I have been unemployed since September 2011, almost 16 months.  The longer I am unemployed, the less employable I become. 

I started out like gangbusters applying to 5-7 jobs online a day. That is 35 jobs a week. 

And like that stupid boy in highschool who didn't know a good thing when he saw it, they never called.

Then the Fiscal Cliff.

Belts got tighter.

My phone still stays silent.

I am out of unemployment benefits. Have been for 3 months now.  I am out of corners to cut to make ends meet.  At this point I'd just like the ends to be in the same area code.

Good luck to you. I've been sitting where you are, divorce,single mom, work/daycare/custody.  You're strong, you're tough and you will be just fine.


nonmember avatar Jess

I have been looking for employment for the past 6 months. I've found that askamanager.com is incredibly helpful and gives lots of good advice concerning resumes, cover letters, interviews, and anything work-related. It's definitely helped me step up my (job searching) game!

Bloom... Bloomie79

Good for you! As you well know no matter what you write the Internet will produce some know it all to hate it, the untold numbers who use it to know they're not alone... That's your audience and you have many.

Stacey. Stacey.

After reading shit on get off my internet i just cant take you seriously, lol

MaryC... MaryCimino

I just went back to school, I'm 25 and in beauty school. I'm starting over in the fact that I'm tired of shitty jobs and want to do something for myself. That and I'm awesome with hair and nails.

Elizabeth Ahmad

That is the real downside of a SAHM mother.  If your spouse divorces or dies on you, then you are SOL even if you are a college educated SAHM or a freelance SAHM.  That being said, I do wish you the best of luck getting on your feet.  It can be done although it will be hard.  My sister did it although it was a long, hard slog.

MissK... MissKathleen297

Congratulations, Aunt Becky! One more hurdle you've overcome. I'm very happy for you! What sort of work will you be doing (if I may ask)? This news made my day! (hope that doesn't make me sound like a cyber-stalker) woohoodancing

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