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8 Inappropriate Things Kids Just Love Doing

by Andrew Kardon on January 25, 2013 at 11:00 PM

One of the best things about kids is that they're unpredictable and they have no filter. They don't play any games with you and instead tell you exactly what they're thinking.

One of the worst things about kids is that they're unpredictable and they have no filter. Yeah, it's kind of a blessing and a curse.

Whether they mean to or not, kids usually do a bang-up job of embarrassing their parents. I know mine do and I've heard plenty of similar horror stories from friends of mine.

You think your kids are being inappropriate when they refuse to go to bed or do their homework? Yeah, keep living in your parental paradise. I've compiled an appropriate list of 8 Inappropriate Things Kids Just Love Doing. Promise me just one thing, though. You won't let your kids read this article.

  1. You know Aunt Martha's meatloaf is a tad bit dry but you suck it up and tell her it's delicious. Your 10-year-old son on the other hand makes no qualms about loudly gagging at the table and screaming, "I'm not eating THAT!" before bolting out of the room.
  2. In your youth, you did the hokey pokey and you turned yourself around. Today, your kids dance around the house saying, "I'm sexy and I know it." All day. Every day. So what if you're entertaining your boss for dinner that night?
  3. What is it about butts that just instantly crack kids up? Say the word "tushie" and you'll unleash a gigglefest. Of course their response is to pull their pants down and show the outside world a full moon when they press their cheeks up against the glass doors in your kitchen.
  4. This one only pertains to boys, but apparently there's some sort of strong magnetic pull between their hand and their ding dongs. You'll constantly catch them with one hand shoved as deep as possible down their pants. Usually in some very public place.
  5. Men do it. Even women do it on occasion. So of course kids are going to do it too. The next time a woman with a rather large belly approaches, tell your kids three things: Don't stare, don't point, and don't ask her when she's having her baby.
  6. Unless you can trace your family tree directly back to the great Gold Rush, there is absolutely no excuse for losing an entire finger to your right nostril. That goes double for doing it in the middle of a fancy restaurant.
  7. You've successfully taught your kids to say thank you when a friend or relative gives them a gift. The next step is to teach them not to say, "I already have this" or "I don't like this" when they open said gift in front of the gift giver.
  8. You step out of the shower, dry off and head into your bedroom. Oh, look, there's your precious little one staring at you and saying, "Ewww." Apparently, it's time for that talk about "the Human Body is a beautiful thing." And yeah, perhaps it's, time to get back on that treadmill.

What inappropriate things have your kids accomplished?


Photo via Roland Tanglao/Flickr

Filed Under: kid activities, behavior

Comments

29
  • randh...
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    randhferedinos

    January 25, 2013 at 11:51 PM
    The other day my kids and I walked into the women's restroom (which smelled terrible) and my 4 year old loudly started gagging and saying," It smells like pooooop!" I was so embarrassed for whomever it was in the stall. :/
  • Pinkmani
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    Pinkmani

    January 26, 2013 at 1:19 AM

    My mom STILL makes me cover my mouth when I yawn. She thinks it's so embarrassing. 


  • Bridg...
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    Bridget1981

    January 26, 2013 at 9:17 AM

    My husband's reaction 'Only 8?'


  • The80s
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    The80s

    January 26, 2013 at 11:50 AM

    These REALLY get on my nerves. Especially #3


  • the4m...
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    the4mutts

    January 26, 2013 at 12:43 PM
    My kids dont do any but 2 of these. The weiner grabbing, and the noticing bodies.
    My 3y/o son made me laugh my chunky ass off about 2 weeks ago.
    He was napping, so s/o & I decided that it was a good time to take a shower. We forgot to grab fresh towels. So he walked, naked, to the linnen cabinet to get some. Aparently the 3y/o woke up and came out of his room, because the next thing i hear is " Wow dad! I love your big weiner!" And my s/o scrambling not to slip on hardwood floors with wet feet to get back in our room.
    Cracked. Me. Up.
  • Samantha
    -- Nonmember comment from

    Samantha

    January 26, 2013 at 12:58 PM
    What a hoot. Some of these in the article & especially the comments really got me going. Lol. My 2yo daughter says a LOT of things, but i am weird & dont get embarrassed. Shell say "thats a fat man mommy" sometimes about huge men.. Or women, in public. Definately loud enough. Shell yell at people at resteraunts for blowing their noses at the table saying "ya nasty". She calls me a fatty quite often. And once i hadnt shaved down there in a while & she told me i had poop on my crotch. Sheesh. I know ALL about the things kids say. The only time i get embarrassed a little is when she points out black people. Eesh. Its one thing to embarrass or offend a fat person including myself, but its another entirely to embarrass a little girl or boy & offend their mother. I dont scold her though, bc she is simply pointing out an observation, not insulting anyone. They need to get off their high horse already anyways, 2 yr olds are just that. 2 yr olds. They dont understand anything about it, they just see they look diff.
  • Sara...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Sara B. Ware

    January 26, 2013 at 2:17 PM
    We were in a restaurant when my ex's daughter was about 6, she was having ice cream which she loves, and she was so excited she jumped up on the seat and nearly yelled, holding up her spoon, "I LOVE to lick and suck!!!" Silence and a LOT of stares...oh DEAR.
  • handy...
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    handy0318

    January 26, 2013 at 5:01 PM

    The worst I was ever embarrassed by either of my kids was when we were just starting home visits with our soon to be DD... She was 3 1/2 then and she and I  were at McD's.  She leaned over to the table next to us and asked the man sitting there, in an almost accusatory voice, "Are you a Jew?"

    I don't know enough of her previous background to know what prompted the question, but the guy first stared at her, then glared at me obviously thinking I was instilling some kind of anti-Semitic hatred in an innocent young girl. He got up abruptly and left.  I wanted just wanted to sink under the table.

    My kids have done most of the things on this list over the years, I can look back and laugh, but boy that incident still, even after 12 years, causes me to shake my head.


  • MaryC...
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    MaryCimino

    January 26, 2013 at 6:00 PM

    One time at the grocery store my little brother asked some REALLY ugly lady "Where did you park your broom?" I grabbed his arm and ran, I didn't want her to use it.


  • kisse...
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    kisses5050

    January 26, 2013 at 6:11 PM

    A 10 year old should be old enough to not be rude.  As for the rest of this list.


1-10 of 29 comments

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