Parents With Only One Kid Are Pretty Darn Selfish

Rant 452

I'm about to say something that's guaranteed to piss some people off. Not that that hasn't happened before. Okay, here goes.

Parents who choose to have only one child are just being selfish.

Let me quickly put up a short disclaimer before everyone jumps down my throat. I understand some people are unable to have more than one kid due to medical or even financial circumstances. I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about the couple who choose to have one kid and then decide it's a lot of work and they like having their freedom, so they stop at one.

Yes, it's your life, so do what you want. But remember this: you're doing a huge disservice to your child by not giving them a sibling. A brother or sister is more than just a 24/7 live-in playdate. It's somebody to literally grow up with and experience going through childhood with. Someone else to share being your child, with all the ups, downs, and inside family jokes that includes.

When you were a kid and your parents came down on you for something or set the most totally unfair rules (9 p.m. bedtime?!?), who could you find comfort in? Yes, your brother or sister. Misery does love company after all.

But my issues with the "only child" go much more deeper than just what you're not giving your kid. It's what happens to these siblingless children. They get pretty obnoxious and selfish. Every single person I've ever met who was an only child had more of a selfish nature than others. I can't blame the kids, though. When you only have one kid, you're going to spoil them rotten and make them think they're the center of the entire universe.

These kids also don't seem to know how to play well with other kids. Yes, they can get along, but there's always something a bit off with them. They tend to relate to adults better than kids at times, which just causes some odd interactions on playdates.

When we had our first son, I was filled with so much love for this cute little guy that I couldn't fathom how I could love another child even close to as much. But somehow, having a second child actually grows your heart so you can indeed share an equal amount of love with them. My wife and I always say that the best thing we ever did for our first born was to give him a brother.

Sure my two boys fight like regular siblings now, but they are constantly playing together, sharing experiences, and completely cracking each other up all the time. A brother or sister just helps round out your childhood.

Of course, some people go the other extreme and pop out seven or eight kids. And that's a different problem altogether.

Do you think siblings make for a more fulfilling life?

Photo via Berit/Flickr 



To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

craft... craftycatVT

Here's what's selfish-- reproducing and increasing the population which is killing the planet. The best gift you could give your kids is zero population growth and a cleaner planet. I'm so tired of parents having more than 2 children and acting like a they're doing anyone a favor.

Charlene Lynn Lammers

Mr. Kardon,

May I say what an ass you are. Yep, I have an only. It seems my bratty kid that you refer gets compliments on his manners, his sensitivity to others and how helpful he is. I have seen kids with a sibling and those children are heathens by no manners etc. It is how a parent decides to raise their child/children. I bet you kids are just delightful and full of charm just like you.

notan... notanazgirl

i think you write these articles to get a rise out of people.  But, you go too far.  Why is your wife married to such an a**?

Cecily Perry

i have a very loving,kind,smart,independent ONLY CHILD! she is a black belt in tae kwan do and an early graduate scholar and now in her second semester of college studying nursing. we chose for her to be an only child so we would have a bond with her that nothing or no one could ever understand. i love my daughter and if you ask her she will tell you she is perfectly happy without a sibling.

nonmember avatar tulip

Yes...I agree 100%! If they "can't handle" their child(ren) they shouldn't have bothered to have any at all instead of plopping their child into a lifetime of loneliness. Friends and such can never replace a sibling!

tuffy... tuffymama

Andrew is a douche, through and through, and I'm convinced The Stir put his caveman ass on here just to *STIR* shit up, because a bunch of ugly communist bitches harping on guns and abortion was getting old.

I hope Andrew gets a real job and schlumps off back to Doucheland with his backwards ass bullshit.

Note to Andy: this subject has already been covered quite well on The Stir. May wanna catch up on the past entries before you shit out more repeat sewage.

whate... whatever82

Hilarious... all of this from a man?  When men start bearing children, I'll entertain the idea that only having one child is selfish.  

nonmember avatar Kelly

I find this article hateful, rude, and hurtful. -Mother of one beautiful child

nonmember avatar Chris

I know a lot of people with only one child and not a single one has this stupid reason for only having one: "I'm talking about the couple who choose to have one kid and then decide it's a lot of work and they like having their freedom, so they stop at one".
I like the way my reproduction is my business if I want to have an abortion but not if I choose to only give birth to one child - how stupid, selfish, and nosy you are for even writing this garbage. Considering overpopultion I think people who have multiple children are selfish (I don't really but I think there are more facts to back up that argument than the one stated in this piece of "writing"). Crawl back under your judgemental rock.

nonmember avatar Chris

Considering this statement "They get pretty obnoxious and selfish" I guess you are an only child. I think a lot of children are obnoxious but that has little to do with sibling status and everything to do with parenting. You know who makes sweeping generalizations and says things like "every one of ... that I know", bigots and judgemental people who are incapable of separating their preconceived notions from reality. Does that sound like you? I'm sure you wouldn't admit it but I bet that describes you pretty well.

31-40 of 452 comments First 23456 Last