I'm about to say something that's guaranteed to piss some people off. Not that that hasn't happened before. Okay, here goes.
Parents who choose to have only one child are just being selfish.
Let me quickly put up a short disclaimer before everyone jumps down my throat. I understand some people are unable to have more than one kid due to medical or even financial circumstances. I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about the couple who choose to have one kid and then decide it's a lot of work and they like having their freedom, so they stop at one.
Yes, it's your life, so do what you want. But remember this: you're doing a huge disservice to your child by not giving them a sibling. A brother or sister is more than just a 24/7 live-in playdate. It's somebody to literally grow up with and experience going through childhood with. Someone else to share being your child, with all the ups, downs, and inside family jokes that includes.
When you were a kid and your parents came down on you for something or set the most totally unfair rules (9 p.m. bedtime?!?), who could you find comfort in? Yes, your brother or sister. Misery does love company after all.
But my issues with the "only child" go much more deeper than just what you're not giving your kid. It's what happens to these siblingless children. They get pretty obnoxious and selfish. Every single person I've ever met who was an only child had more of a selfish nature than others. I can't blame the kids, though. When you only have one kid, you're going to spoil them rotten and make them think they're the center of the entire universe.
These kids also don't seem to know how to play well with other kids. Yes, they can get along, but there's always something a bit off with them. They tend to relate to adults better than kids at times, which just causes some odd interactions on playdates.
When we had our first son, I was filled with so much love for this cute little guy that I couldn't fathom how I could love another child even close to as much. But somehow, having a second child actually grows your heart so you can indeed share an equal amount of love with them. My wife and I always say that the best thing we ever did for our first born was to give him a brother.
Sure my two boys fight like regular siblings now, but they are constantly playing together, sharing experiences, and completely cracking each other up all the time. A brother or sister just helps round out your childhood.
Of course, some people go the other extreme and pop out seven or eight kids. And that's a different problem altogether.
Do you think siblings make for a more fulfilling life?
Photo via Berit/Flickr
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Comments 376
I guess I don't even have to say how much of an idiot the man who wrote this is. Let's be real anyway, since when do men give women advice about how many children to have anyway? This was supposed to be a place for women (and some men) to come together and discuss being parents and common issues instead, every day almost they try to offend us. I'm done with this site. I currently only have one child and if she were my only ever child I would be more than happy. She would have everything she needs (since the economy it's hard to imagine paying for a second child to live with the means my daughter has now) and that makes me SELFISH?!? I could punch this guy in face for the smirk comments like that. Also I will say I have one older sister and I HATE HER - she does drugs, steals, fathers multiple children from different dads, but I guess since her children have sibblings they are better off...WHAT A TWIRP!
My Mom was an only child because her brother died in infancy. She is one of the most non-spoiled and independent people I know who went on to make "sisters" out of her life long friends. I wanted 2 kids and it is a plus for DS to have a sibling and they love each other and he actually has thanked me (omg) several times for having her in the last 5 years! I cannot imagine not having my Sister, fights and all- we have a bond and love that is unbreakable. My kids will too.
Whatever a parents' reasons may be, I think there's no reason having an only is detrimental to said child. I speak from experience - I am one! My parents taught me early on - a concept which stuck by early childhood- the importance of sharing, being polite & grateful to others, & NEVER taking for granted attention & financial benefits bestowed on me - 2 things that, in my family's situation, would have inevitably been stretched thinner if I'd had siblings. Granted, I developed a glose bond with my parents. Yes, I've always related better than average to those older than me,. but that's exposed me to new points of view & experiences. Still, my closest friends range 30 years - all based on maturity level and common beliefs & experiences, regardless of age. I tbelieve it's "luck of the draw" when it comes to onlys vs. siblings. There are only children who don't receive the proper parenting to make them prosper in the "real world"; but just as often those with siblings can suffer neglect from parents who can't properly cope any better- children who may or may not have a mutually beneficial relationship(s) with their sibling(s). In my opinion it boils down to good parenting. Sure, onlies may have different skills than those with siblings, but different doesn't mean bad. If a child is raised with love, respect, empathy, and a proper amount of discipline, believe that have equal likelihoods tof becoming a well-adjusted adult - only or not.