Parents With Only One Kid Are Pretty Darn Selfish

Rant 452

I'm about to say something that's guaranteed to piss some people off. Not that that hasn't happened before. Okay, here goes.

Parents who choose to have only one child are just being selfish.

Let me quickly put up a short disclaimer before everyone jumps down my throat. I understand some people are unable to have more than one kid due to medical or even financial circumstances. I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about the couple who choose to have one kid and then decide it's a lot of work and they like having their freedom, so they stop at one.

Yes, it's your life, so do what you want. But remember this: you're doing a huge disservice to your child by not giving them a sibling. A brother or sister is more than just a 24/7 live-in playdate. It's somebody to literally grow up with and experience going through childhood with. Someone else to share being your child, with all the ups, downs, and inside family jokes that includes.

When you were a kid and your parents came down on you for something or set the most totally unfair rules (9 p.m. bedtime?!?), who could you find comfort in? Yes, your brother or sister. Misery does love company after all.

But my issues with the "only child" go much more deeper than just what you're not giving your kid. It's what happens to these siblingless children. They get pretty obnoxious and selfish. Every single person I've ever met who was an only child had more of a selfish nature than others. I can't blame the kids, though. When you only have one kid, you're going to spoil them rotten and make them think they're the center of the entire universe.

These kids also don't seem to know how to play well with other kids. Yes, they can get along, but there's always something a bit off with them. They tend to relate to adults better than kids at times, which just causes some odd interactions on playdates.

When we had our first son, I was filled with so much love for this cute little guy that I couldn't fathom how I could love another child even close to as much. But somehow, having a second child actually grows your heart so you can indeed share an equal amount of love with them. My wife and I always say that the best thing we ever did for our first born was to give him a brother.

Sure my two boys fight like regular siblings now, but they are constantly playing together, sharing experiences, and completely cracking each other up all the time. A brother or sister just helps round out your childhood.

Of course, some people go the other extreme and pop out seven or eight kids. And that's a different problem altogether.

Do you think siblings make for a more fulfilling life?

Photo via Berit/Flickr 



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curly... curlygirl31

Who cares how many children people want. They know they are lazy and selfish

Mary Norris

i grew up with 2 brothers and a sister we had good and bad times im not bad mouthing you at all just saying i was a middle child i love my sibling but not close to none of them never was close to my sister like i should be my little brother hates me for reasons i have no idea and i was close to my older brother until he got in to drugs i am now 32 years old with 3 kids of my own i try to keep my kids from fighting all the time i love all three the same i just home they grow up and lear to get along with each other

Michele Fraser

OMFG! You fired! Get a real job.

Sierr... SierraLynn

Growing up my brother and I hated each other. We have nothing in common and have literally never ever found comfort in each other when in trouble with our parents. To be completely honest, I really dont like my brother at all,I say I love him because we share parents. thats about it. We dont talk what so ever if we are not forced to.

That being said, my husband and I have 2 daughters. The 3 year old isnt to fond of her 4 month old sister. I hope it changes as the baby grows up and is able to play back with her bi sister. But I dont expect them to be best friends in the least.

Mommy... Mommy2justone

I know a lot of only children who were perfectly happy being an only child. 
My daughter is an only child.
She has many playmates, and we are foster parents, so she gets a lot of "kid time".
If we could have another child, I wouldn't have another just for my daughter to have a sibling. That is weird to me.  

szinna szinna

Mr. Kardon must be on a self-destructive streak here with these last posts...or maybe he thought people wouldn't be childish name-callers.  Again. It's really easy to trash the author of an article when you disagree with its premise, but perhaps we could all try a thing called "maturity" and use our words to formulate coherent and logical arguments on why you disagree with the author.  And omit the hateful words.  They are just plain unnecessary.

nonmember avatar Kara C

To say that to choose to only have one child is selfish -- that's pretty darn judgemental. You don't know me. You don't know my husband or son. While fertility issues have played a role in our circumstances we 100% made the choice together to no pursue having any more children. THAT'S what is best for our family - how dare you tell me your way is the only way that my child won't turn out to be a monster or I'm doing him a disservice by not creating another human for him to play with?? I'm creating the best life I can for my ONLY child and I hope he never gets told his parents didn't do right by him because he didn't have a sibling.

nikki... nikkivolkov

I am very close with both my siblings. We only have one now but are planning at least two more so she can hopefully enjoy the same type of relationship. I do think the Blogger could have taken a positive aproach to the subject vs the name calling though. But I agree that there is a special bond that comes from sharing a childhood.

nonmember avatar blh

What's with this whole thnking that everything you do needs to be for your child?? That's why people are selfish. My son will never have any say in my reproductive choices, whether I have no more Kids or five. I frankly don't give a fuck about him having a built-in friend. And who's to say they'd even get along, plenty of siblings never do.

peanu... peanutsmommy1

I have been with my husband for 10 years, his brother lives in the next town and I have met him 3 times. Why, becuase he is a drug abusing asshole. Yes, my DH has a sibling, but when their father is gone, he will be an only child

Oh, and we had an only by choice

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