Parents With Only One Kid Are Pretty Darn Selfish

Rant 452

I'm about to say something that's guaranteed to piss some people off. Not that that hasn't happened before. Okay, here goes.

Parents who choose to have only one child are just being selfish.

Let me quickly put up a short disclaimer before everyone jumps down my throat. I understand some people are unable to have more than one kid due to medical or even financial circumstances. I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about the couple who choose to have one kid and then decide it's a lot of work and they like having their freedom, so they stop at one.

Yes, it's your life, so do what you want. But remember this: you're doing a huge disservice to your child by not giving them a sibling. A brother or sister is more than just a 24/7 live-in playdate. It's somebody to literally grow up with and experience going through childhood with. Someone else to share being your child, with all the ups, downs, and inside family jokes that includes.

When you were a kid and your parents came down on you for something or set the most totally unfair rules (9 p.m. bedtime?!?), who could you find comfort in? Yes, your brother or sister. Misery does love company after all.

But my issues with the "only child" go much more deeper than just what you're not giving your kid. It's what happens to these siblingless children. They get pretty obnoxious and selfish. Every single person I've ever met who was an only child had more of a selfish nature than others. I can't blame the kids, though. When you only have one kid, you're going to spoil them rotten and make them think they're the center of the entire universe.

These kids also don't seem to know how to play well with other kids. Yes, they can get along, but there's always something a bit off with them. They tend to relate to adults better than kids at times, which just causes some odd interactions on playdates.

When we had our first son, I was filled with so much love for this cute little guy that I couldn't fathom how I could love another child even close to as much. But somehow, having a second child actually grows your heart so you can indeed share an equal amount of love with them. My wife and I always say that the best thing we ever did for our first born was to give him a brother.

Sure my two boys fight like regular siblings now, but they are constantly playing together, sharing experiences, and completely cracking each other up all the time. A brother or sister just helps round out your childhood.

Of course, some people go the other extreme and pop out seven or eight kids. And that's a different problem altogether.

Do you think siblings make for a more fulfilling life?

Photo via Berit/Flickr 



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lulou lulou

The other day, I disected the roomba and cleaned ou my long hair.  Hair sometimes falls out more after child birth.  It makes me curious to see what the Duggar households like.


Written by someone who never had someone sitting on their bladder,had their vagina torn or went through labor. Yes asswipe it is a lot of work and its best to know that before you go off making more children. A lot of kids get siblings because someone was too lazy to make a trip to the druggist and a lot of children don't get a sib because that was the plan from the get go, not because it was too hard and too much work. Yours is a species that is programmed to spread their seed so really no big surprise you would take issue with those who seem to go against your grain. I have none ,but I'm not going to tell you NOT to have any because guess what? It's none of my business.

RMT1995 RMT1995

My brother ended up a heroin addict. Yes, my life is so much more fulfilling because of him.

You think parents of only children are selfish? I think male writers on a mom-geared website are clueless. Are you for real?

mommy... mommytojack0524

Thanks to the author for giving me a pass since I have medical issues.  I'm glad those strokes I had when my son was 7 weeks old got me off the hook.  <sarcasm>.  Even though I have a pass, the author is still dooming my poor only child to an obnoxious, selfish existence despite the reason. 

Besides, what's wrong with carefully evaluating how many kids you have the finances, energy, time, and willingness to raise?  Should you have two children when the answer to the above questions is to have one?

LoveM... LoveMyViolet

Or maybe I just realize that we do not make enough money to support 2 children. How is that being selfish?


dearg76 dearg76

I am not going to trash your article, even though I may feel like it. Let me just say that not all single children are spoiled rotten and selfish. You could not find a more selfish person than my sister and there are 3 of us. She had no problems throwing my bother or I to the wolves (our parents) anything that could be blamed on us was.  I really beleive how a child is raised depends on how the parents raise them.

CPN322 CPN322

Yes, I do for me personally. I know that no matter what my siblings will never, ever judge me and will always be there for me. I can't imagine life without my siblings. I'm close with the oldest two, whom are 5 and 7 years younger than me but sadly I am not close with the youngest two because their mother is a real bitch and I can't stand the way they are being raised. Most people I know are close with their siblings but I know some people that genuinly greatly dislike one or more of their siblings. I don't like generalizations like this. To each their own. I have personally decided that if I have one I had better be ready for two(emotionally and financially) because I don't want to have just one child. But thats my plan and we all know life doesn't follow our plans. Cut people some slack. Making a broad statement that all parents with only one child by choice are selfish comes off as extremely ignorant. I'd much rather a couple have just one kid that they can afford instead of having 2 that they can not just to give their first born a sibling. You should have put a lot more thought into this before you posted it.

Senia... Seniahmom

For the general masses I whole heartedly disagree with this article. Such generalizations are idiotic.

However I will concede that of the people I know personally that would full under the statements made here, that the statements are true more often than not.

MamaD... MamaDV1012

Wow, that's a lot of hateful comments.  I think as a generality I agree with you as far as stereotypes go.  Be fruitful and multiply people.  :)

LeeshaE LeeshaE

Of course a man wrote this article. Its not like he grew an entire human being inside him. I am the mother to an only child and guess what, I picked my career over more children so what. Its actually pretty selfless when you consider I work hard, and constantly expand my resume so I make a good wage and can support my son and myself, without the help of some man telling me I need to pop out more kids.

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