Follow The Stir

Mom Moment

Santa Exists & I'll Never Tell My Daughters Otherwise

by Jenny Erikson on December 3, 2012 at 10:03 PM

santa clausThis Christmas I have a 9-year-old fourth grader, and as such, I have to wonder if she still believes in Santa Claus. Her 4-year-old sister is solidly on Team Santa, and it was just last year or two that she really started to understand the whole concept.

This Christmas season, I broached the subject peripherally by asking my big girl if she would like to write a letter to mail to the North Pole. Her response was, “Of course! How else will Santa know what I want?”


Recently I was chatting with some of my mom friends who also have fourth graders about the whole Santa thing -- specifically whether or not we will keep up the rouse, and for how long.

There seem to be several schools of thought. A lot of these older kids have already figured it out and their parents have come clean. Other moms and dads dread the day when they will have to make the decision to break their kids’ hearts with the truth, or lie to their faces about the existence of Kris Kringle and his merry elves and flying reindeer.

Personally, I’m of the thought that there’s no reason to ever admit The Truth About Santa to my kids. Of course there will come a day when they realize that it’s really mommy and daddy wrapping the gifts and leaving them under the tree, but I’ll never admit it.

Belief in Santa has never scarred someone for life. Prisons aren’t filled with people lamenting that it all went wrong when they found out their parents had been lying about Santa. It’s a harmless, time-honored tradition that can even be used to represent what true giving is: A gift given without need for recognition. Maybe that’s a stretch, but I’ll take it.

I’m sure that someday soon, my daughter will know the truth, and we may even share a wink and a nudge as we work together to keep the Santa magic alive for her little sister. Meanwhile, we have some North Pole-bound letters to write.

Do your kids believe in Santa?

Photo via USACE Europe District/Flickr

Filed Under: elementary school, family, holidays, christmas


  • kaerae
    -- Nonmember comment from


    December 3, 2012 at 10:08 PM
    You probably tell them god and jesus are real too...
  • shelly
    -- Nonmember comment from


    December 3, 2012 at 10:10 PM
    I would never tell my child anything his imagination believe in, is fake. We allow our child to believe in fairy tales, imaginary friends, characters, stories, mythologies, etc. I always laugh at [parents who say they are lying to their kids, so they won't allow them believe in Santa. I find it so hypocritical. They would never go out of their way to tell their daughter Tinkerbell isn't real, but Santa is the lie they won't tell. It's silly.
  • Reepi...


    December 3, 2012 at 10:23 PM
    My children give to toys for tots and sponsor children from our giving tree at church. They learn about giving without the need for recognition quite easily without the creation of some red suited man.
    You can obviously do what ever you want with your family, but to believe that you can learn unselfish giving only through the use of Santa is ridiculous.
  • Pinkmani


    December 3, 2012 at 10:29 PM

    My parents never told me there was or wasn't a Santa. I learned about it from school. And whenever my we would talk about Santa, my dad would say, "I am Santa". (And that's because he was the one buying gifts...) The only ficitional character my parents played was the Tooth Fairy, and even though my brother and I knew it was mom and dad because we woke up to them removing the tooth from underneath us.

  • Cass
    -- Nonmember comment from


    December 3, 2012 at 11:02 PM
    My parents confessed when I asked. Once I knew that they were Santa, they started denying it. To this day, my dad insists he doesn't know what I'm talking about if I refer to any of their exploits. I like that. I still insist that Santa is real when talking to friends. Obviously, they know I don't really think there's a Santa, but it's a happy way to do it.
  • kelti...


    December 3, 2012 at 11:07 PM
    Boy there are some scripted on here tonight! I hope all you Santa bashers go out of your way to pop the bubbles of every other imaginative, magical aspect of childhood. We just couldn't have children actually believing like children now, could we?
  • kelti...


    December 3, 2012 at 11:08 PM
    Scripted =Scrooges. Stupid autocorrect. Grrr....
  • Reepi...


    December 3, 2012 at 11:19 PM
    So someone who doesn't believe or teach their children about Santa is a Scrooge? Has Christmas become only about Santa? The difference between a child having a 'make believe friend' based solely in their imagination and me, as a parent, creating a character and placing him into their mind all the while knowing that he isn't real is like comparing shoes and chocolate. One has nothing to do with the other.

  • bills...


    December 3, 2012 at 11:38 PM
    Wow. A very nice article about keeping a tradition alive and fun for a little kid has turned ugly and nasty. Whats wrong with little kids having some joy and fun? Why cant they be kids, without people being Scrooges? And yes Reep, its being a Scrooge. Let kids be kids. St. Nick is real.
  • Livin...


    December 4, 2012 at 1:07 AM
    The world can be a pretty ugly place, and I've had to teach my kids about a lot of things I would have preferred they never had to think of, to keep them safe. What is the harm in giving them something that's magical, kind of silly, and helps them feel some childlike wonder???
1-10 of 23 comments

To leave a comment, log in as a CafeMom member:

Log In

OR, use our non-member comment form: