'The Most Wonderful Time of the Year' Might Actually Be Wonderful This Year

We're nearly approaching what I like to (non-sarcastically) call, "the most wonderful time of the year." You might assume that I'm being snarky when I say this, because I love snark like I love peanut butter, but in this case, I'm dead serious.

I'm unabashedly unashamed of my love for the holidays -- I rock out to my Christmas music all year round, I plan and plan and look forward to the holidays more and more with each year that goes by.

However, that doesn't mean my plans go awry each and every year.


Normally, I have grand ideas about getting my Christmas cards ready to send out November 1 (or whatever), but when the time comes around, I'm kicked by a mule come November and don't remember the whole "holiday card" thing until January 20 or so, when I vow to send Valentine's Day cards instead.

Spoiler alert: I never do.

I long to be one of those people who spreads their Christmas shopping out throughout the year so when the holidays approach, they can sit back, smugly satisfied that they're done while the rest of us are running out on Christmas Eve, trying to find somewhere, anywhere that may be open.

In my fantasy life, I'm totally that prepared person. In reality, I get the idea to start picking up little things here and there for the kids, stash them somewhere they'll never look, and promptly forget that I've purchased them a thing. Then, in a (stupid) blind panic, I rush around like an asshole trying to find out what toys they'd like best this year.

(Sidebar: My kids somehow believe that Santa can bring them anything in the world, up to and including a McDonald's restaurant for my apartment. Moral of the story: kids are weird.)

My family celebrates Thanksgiving on Black Friday, which means I always have a handy excuse NOT to stand in line for a 3-D television I don't -- and won't -- need just because it's OMG cheap. I've never done Black Friday up and I have no plan to -- the crowds would make me stampy.

But this year, I had the Internet on my side. I knew that Amazon as well as a few other stores were doing Black Friday sales, which meant I could sit with my ass wearing a groove into my desk chair while I perused the deals.

I found one, measured the space in my home it would take up, and noting that I had enough space, promptly purchased the item. I was all EYE OF THE TIGER about it. I'd actually managed to get the kids something AHEAD of time, and there was NO WAY that I'd be able to lose it in such a small space.

That night, after a particularly botched Thanksgiving, I went back online, my young daughter peeking at the toys on the computer as I looked to see if there were any other items I could get for the kids.

There were. With the help of The Twitter, I was able to nab one of the best deals for the items that the kids would love and be able to share. That's the hardest part of having kids with such an age span -- getting gifts that they can all play with.

But I did it.

And over the past two days, I've gotten the items in the mail, just ready and waiting for me to wrap.

I haven't stopped doing the Happy Dance since.

Finally, I'm turning into an adult.

About damn time.


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