18 Kids' Toys to Avoid (Because They Drive Moms Insane)

Big Kid 25

Like any good mother, before asking my children what their little hearts desire for the holidays, I wanted to know which toys drove their mothers the most insane. Because I love my kids to death, but I'd like to make it out of the holidays somewhat without going completely crazy. 

From the moms I trust most, here's what I plan on avoiding ...

1. Bratz dolls. Who wants their kid aspiring to look like a skinny slut with a huge head?! - Emma

2. Zhu Zhu Pet Hamster. Just ... why? Why would anyone buy that? And then give it to someone else's kid? WHY?! IT DOESN'T TURN OFF!!! I think they actually hate me. - Michelle

3. Damn Monster High dolls. Not only did my daughter get a vampire slut doll, but I have to take her body parts off to change her clothes. Now she has a hand and forearm missing. Wtf, Monster High? - Amy

4. The Barbie with the built-in camera. You never know when or what your kids are recording. - Sara

5. Moxie Girlz Magic Hair Makeover comes with tubes of bright pink and blue hair dye. It ends up ... EVERYWHERE: furniture, curtains, carpet, and the dog. - Heather

6. Any Hot Wheels set. Are you kidding me? Who keeps the set out together? Once you take it apart, you can never re-build it because the parts are all over. - Robyn

7. The Barbie Glitterizer. Even the name sounds terrifying. A big closet you put Barbie in that blows glitter all over the place. I'm still cleaning glitter from last year. - Kalie

8. Moldable clay. Because three days after you spent hours cleaning the bloody stuff up, you're still stabbed in the foot by a dried up lump of it hiding in the rug! - Mandy

More from The Stir: 5 Unexpected Places to Shop for Kids' Holiday Gifts

9. Moon Sand. It spilled on our tile floor. It was almost impossible to clean up, because it's some type of tiny rubber shavings. This caused the kitchen floor to become slippery like an ice skating rink. It was a huge mess!! - Jill 

10. Gender specific Lego people/sets. Girls have liked it fine for years without the need for pink. - Lara

11. The Dora guitar. It has no volume control and I can't get it away from the girls. - Danielle

12. The Disney princess game where you earn jewels to make your crown. Besides finding the cards all over the place, I also stepped on one too many "jewels." - Corine

13. Practically every V-Tech toy ever invented, but there is a special corner of hell reserved for the Moo-Beads. - Kelly

14. Fushigi ball. Cost us three trips to the dentist and a shiny new tooth. - Shannon

15. We bought her this two-dollar microphone. It was plastic with a spring in it that amplifies her voice. I really want to smash it against the wall. - Valerie

16. Those matchbox tracks that are a bitch to set up and falls apart every time a car goes over them. You put it together once, lose one piece, then they're useless! - Colleen

17. Anything that has a million pieces. I want to love Legos but I will not step on another one barefoot and I will not spend over $100 on another Star Wars set only for it to be strewn all over the house and become chew toys for the dog and vacuum cleaner food. - Elizabeth

18. Anything that lights up and makes noise. My son always prefers the boxes stuff came in anyway. I'm thinking about just going to a store and offering to take some boxes, wrapping that shit up, and calling it a day. - Melanie

What toys will you be avoiding this year?

Image via Scary Mommy



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Doomy234 Doomy234

I saw a colorful xylo-phone that I thought would be perfect for my niece, until I thought of the likelihood that it would frequently be confiscated by her older brother who would probably bash the keys against the table really hard and then proceed to knock his sister over the noggin with the tiny wooden play mallet. Needless to say, I opted to get them nice quiet stuffed animals to spare my relatives constant migraines.

butte... butterflyfreak

Totally agree about the stupid Bratz dolls! I won't even let my daughter watch any of the Bratz shows/movies on Netflix and when we had cable, I absolutely shut her down when a Bratz commercial came on and she started with the "I want..." We like Barbies. Sure, some of her clothes are skimpy but at least she doesn't have the freakishly sized hooker-face!

hello... hellokd87

Not mentioned: Noisy Monster trucks!!! My stepson LOVES those damn things, but when my fiancee keeps me up late and the kids wake us up early those stupid, annoying trucks make it next to impossible to take a nap. Not to mention ANY bouncy ball. I've taken one too many to the face while attempting to nap. Can we say: BAD MOOD.


 Hats off to #18... Hilarious!!

Rose Martinez

Last year we got this ball that rolled itself and sang, my son would roll it once and the thing would make noise for 10 minutes even though he was in the next room

Jen Ziegler

My daughter did not like the Zhu Zhu Pet I got her, but i loved that thing, i thought it was the cutest little hamster with none of the mess

Spooky80 Spooky80

my friend said she bought moon sand for her kids and she said she will never ever ever buy it again because its extremely messy and crumbles all over the place and the post about the fushigi ball, thats just crazy 

Simpl... Simply_Janeen

Be careful getting your kids My Little Pony. At first, it was okay, my daughter got them at a fairly young age but when she hit 5 the OBSESSION hit! She's got almost 60 ponies and it's STILL not enough! I've gotten her both vintage and current ponies. Her friend next door is catching up to her as far as number of ponies go. They're COMPETING! It's like a pony arms race! I don't remember being THAT obsessed with them when I was a kid but then we didn't have the internet back then either.


Hot wheels sets are a huge thing here!! LOL its hard to keep all the pieces together. Im considering superglueing them together next time.

Sally Marie

I am LUCKY- I am the gramma this year, so I look for noisy annoying toys for my grandson! Payback!

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