Like any good mother, before asking my children what their little hearts desire for the holidays, I wanted to know which toys drove their mothers the most insane. Because I love my kids to death, but I'd like to make it out of the holidays somewhat without going completely crazy.
From the moms I trust most, here's what I plan on avoiding ...
1. Bratz dolls. Who wants their kid aspiring to look like a skinny slut with a huge head?! - Emma
2. Zhu Zhu Pet Hamster. Just ... why? Why would anyone buy that? And then give it to someone else's kid? WHY?! IT DOESN'T TURN OFF!!! I think they actually hate me. - Michelle
3. Damn Monster High dolls. Not only did my daughter get a vampire slut doll, but I have to take her body parts off to change her clothes. Now she has a hand and forearm missing. Wtf, Monster High? - Amy
4. The Barbie with the built-in camera. You never know when or what your kids are recording. - Sara
5. Moxie Girlz Magic Hair Makeover comes with tubes of bright pink and blue hair dye. It ends up ... EVERYWHERE: furniture, curtains, carpet, and the dog. - Heather
6. Any Hot Wheels set. Are you kidding me? Who keeps the set out together? Once you take it apart, you can never re-build it because the parts are all over. - Robyn
7. The Barbie Glitterizer. Even the name sounds terrifying. A big closet you put Barbie in that blows glitter all over the place. I'm still cleaning glitter from last year. - Kalie
8. Moldable clay. Because three days after you spent hours cleaning the bloody stuff up, you're still stabbed in the foot by a dried up lump of it hiding in the rug! - Mandy
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9. Moon Sand. It spilled on our tile floor. It was almost impossible to clean up, because it's some type of tiny rubber shavings. This caused the kitchen floor to become slippery like an ice skating rink. It was a huge mess!! - Jill
10. Gender specific Lego people/sets. Girls have liked it fine for years without the need for pink. - Lara
11. The Dora guitar. It has no volume control and I can't get it away from the girls. - Danielle
12. The Disney princess game where you earn jewels to make your crown. Besides finding the cards all over the place, I also stepped on one too many "jewels." - Corine
13. Practically every V-Tech toy ever invented, but there is a special corner of hell reserved for the Moo-Beads. - Kelly
14. Fushigi ball. Cost us three trips to the dentist and a shiny new tooth. - Shannon
15. We bought her this two-dollar microphone. It was plastic with a spring in it that amplifies her voice. I really want to smash it against the wall. - Valerie
16. Those matchbox tracks that are a bitch to set up and falls apart every time a car goes over them. You put it together once, lose one piece, then they're useless! - Colleen
17. Anything that has a million pieces. I want to love Legos but I will not step on another one barefoot and I will not spend over $100 on another Star Wars set only for it to be strewn all over the house and become chew toys for the dog and vacuum cleaner food. - Elizabeth
18. Anything that lights up and makes noise. My son always prefers the boxes stuff came in anyway. I'm thinking about just going to a store and offering to take some boxes, wrapping that shit up, and calling it a day. - Melanie
What toys will you be avoiding this year?
Image via Scary Mommy