10 Shocking Confessions About Motherhood

Jill Smokler

When was the last time someone asked, "How are you?" I'm guessing it was pretty recently. Yesterday? Today? I'm also guessing that you responded with a "fine" or "good" or, at the most honest, an "OK." Am I right? What if you answered honestly ... what would you say? Would your response echo any of these Scary Mommy Confessions?

1. In the shopping centre today, I nearly dropped my 6-year-old at the lost children point and pretended he wasn't mine. I know how bad that sounds, but his attitude was THAT BAD. And I am THAT TIRED.

2. I wish parenting came with an instruction manual. That's why I sometimes would rather be at work because I already know what's expected of me.

3. I stopped really enjoying motherhood when my kids were around 3. Now, I’m just counting down to the day I become a grandmother.

4. I feel like I got sold a bill of goods with all the talk about how much fun parenting is. Um, compared to what, a root canal? Most days it isn't fun at all. It's a pain in the ass.

5. I bought a bottle of vodka last week at the store. This week I bought three. The clerk remembered me. I shrugged and said, "One for each kid."

6. Having a teenager in the house has been detrimental to my self-esteem. Sometimes, I want to treat her exactly the way she treats me, but that would be child abuse.

7. I fear that in contrast to over involved, hyper anxious helicopter moms, I am a submarine mom. Half the time I'm like, "Has anyone seen DS?"

8. I used to live for weekends. Now, as a stay-at-home mom, I live for them to be over. Get out of my house, people!!!

9. I came home to a beautifully clean house, dishes done, laundry folded and put away, dinner cooked, baby in PJs and bathed. My husband was there with a dozen roses and a bottle of wine ... then I woke up.

10. The real prep for motherhood was the dump I took on the delivery table with my first DD. Haven't gone to the bathroom without an audience since.

So ... how ARE you?

 

Image via Scary Mommy

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