When was the last time someone asked, "How are you?" I'm guessing it was pretty recently. Yesterday? Today? I'm also guessing that you responded with a "fine" or "good" or, at the most honest, an "OK." Am I right? What if you answered honestly ... what would you say? Would your response echo any of these Scary Mommy Confessions?
1. In the shopping centre today, I nearly dropped my 6-year-old at the lost children point and pretended he wasn't mine. I know how bad that sounds, but his attitude was THAT BAD. And I am THAT TIRED.
2. I wish parenting came with an instruction manual. That's why I sometimes would rather be at work because I already know what's expected of me.
3. I stopped really enjoying motherhood when my kids were around 3. Now, I’m just counting down to the day I become a grandmother.
4. I feel like I got sold a bill of goods with all the talk about how much fun parenting is. Um, compared to what, a root canal? Most days it isn't fun at all. It's a pain in the ass.
5. I bought a bottle of vodka last week at the store. This week I bought three. The clerk remembered me. I shrugged and said, "One for each kid."
6. Having a teenager in the house has been detrimental to my self-esteem. Sometimes, I want to treat her exactly the way she treats me, but that would be child abuse.
7. I fear that in contrast to over involved, hyper anxious helicopter moms, I am a submarine mom. Half the time I'm like, "Has anyone seen DS?"
8. I used to live for weekends. Now, as a stay-at-home mom, I live for them to be over. Get out of my house, people!!!
9. I came home to a beautifully clean house, dishes done, laundry folded and put away, dinner cooked, baby in PJs and bathed. My husband was there with a dozen roses and a bottle of wine ... then I woke up.
10. The real prep for motherhood was the dump I took on the delivery table with my first DD. Haven't gone to the bathroom without an audience since.
So ... how ARE you?
Image via Scary Mommy