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15 Questions for My Children

by Jill Smokler on November 12, 2012 at 8:05 AM

My children constantly barrage me with questions. They range from the easy (how can you love us all the same?) to the impossible (what happens after we die?) to the unpleasant (but how did I get in your tummy?). All day, every day, I answer their questions like it's my job. OK, so I guess it is my job. Of course, I don't have all the answers. In fact, I have a few questions for them as well ...

1. Why is it that you can build towers with perfect precision yet are incapable of aiming into the toilet?

2. Why do you put up a fight every single night at bedtime? Is it really that bad to lay down on a comfortable bed and peacefully fall asleep?

3. Why do you insist on walking up the stairs leaving a trail of grubby fingerprints all over the wall? It's called a banister. Please use it.

4. Why do you lust after a toy belonging to a friend, but when the toy is purchased for you, suddenly you lose interest?

More from The Stir: How to Diffuse a Tantrum in 10 Seconds Flat

5. Why must you pick your nose and wipe the findings along the walls? If you can't find a tissue, use your sleeves. They're good enough for me.

6. Why are you suddenly dying of thirst the moment I have poured a drink for myself and had a seat?

7. Why do you act like having your toenails cut is torture? It's called a pedicure, for crying out loud.

8. Why can you never agree on the same movie, which you all love, at any given time?

9. Why do you fuss about brushing your teeth before school? Do you really not mind that nasty morning breath?

10. Why do you love ketchup but think tomato sauce is "disgusting"?

11. Why can't you ever just ignore your siblings when they are taunting you? If you do, they will stop. I promise.

12. Why do you wrestle on the couch when 99.9 percent of the time, it ends in tears and hysterics? Do you not remember? Do you enjoy getting hurt?

13. Why is volume control such a difficult concept for you to understand? I CAN HEAR YOU!!!

14. Why do you pick the most annoying books in the universe? Don't you realize that reading about Transformers and Cars makes me want to skip pages and stab myself in the eye?

15. Why do you insist on stating my name a dozen times before actually asking a question?

What questions do you have for your children?

 

Image via Scary Mommy

Filed Under: behavior

Comments

26
  • linzemae
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    linzemae

    November 12, 2012 at 8:12 AM
    I'm 27 and I like Ketchup but hate tomato paste, sauce and tomato soup.
  • Angie...
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    AngieHayes

    November 12, 2012 at 8:19 AM

    As soon as I make coffee, they want me to play, so they insist on asking me if I am done with my coffe, over and over and over. Until I give up and go play because they are both in tears.....


  • gridi...
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    gridironsmom

    November 12, 2012 at 9:08 AM
    Lol at all these questions.
  • chigi...
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    chigirl1228

    November 12, 2012 at 9:15 AM
    Why do you scream about getting in the bath and then scream when it's time to get out?
  • Eliza...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Elizabeth Saville Dodds

    November 12, 2012 at 9:22 AM
    BAhAHA! Love this. The same questions I wonder on a daily basis. Another one is to my 13 year old son, but sadly I know the answer, "Why, son, do you like the girls who are so not good for you?" I just hope he gets out of this phase before college...although I doubt it.
  • Melis...
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    Melissa1508

    November 12, 2012 at 9:38 AM

    Hahahahaha Jill!  Awesome!  I can relate to almost every single one of these.  :)


  • Todd...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Todd Vrancic

    November 12, 2012 at 10:15 AM

    As to the ketchup vs. tomato sauce, it could be a question of texture.  My wife loves oatmeal, but although she loves the aroma of cream of wheat, she just can't eat it.  She keeps telling me that it is not the taste, it's the texture that throws her off.


  • Debi...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Debi Adams

    November 12, 2012 at 10:43 AM

    My question to my daughter is this... Why on school days can't you wake up early but on weekends you are awake at the crack of dawn?


  • Mike M
    -- Nonmember comment from

    Mike M

    November 12, 2012 at 11:18 AM
    A few answers...

    1. When beginning to urinate the stream isn't likely to go in the direction that it is anticipated to go so aiming properly can be of little use.

    10. Ketchup has more sugar or corn syrup in it and children evolved a strong desire for sugary foods as sugars contains a lot of calories (which is important so they can grow).

    14. Males seem to be more interested than females in things that give them power and control, and Transformers and cars are two such things.

    As for what happens after we die, one thing is that we judge ourselves (the idea of a judgmental God was assumed by people who were ignorant before they died... there is no Hell, but the spirit world is such that spirits who aren't as enlightened as other spirits are more limited in their ability to interact with those spirits who are more enlightened than they are) based on what our soul wanted to accomplish on Earth before reincarnating. The books "Life in the World Unseen" and "More about Life in the World Unseen" by Anthony Boriga (Google them) go into a lot more detail about the spirit world and what spirits do.
  • Misty...
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    Misty.Dawn

    November 12, 2012 at 12:11 PM
    i have the same question as Debi. Why do i have to fight & threaten to take away every toy/video game/movie for u to get up on a school day, but on the weekends u actually get up BEFORE u have to during the week?
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