Getting kids to fess up when they've done something wrong can be like pulling teeth. But third grader Andrew Berry knew he screwed up when he opened his backpack at school and found the unloaded BB gun he'd stowed in there when he went to visit his grandparents over the weekend. Oops! So the 8-year-old told his teacher. Now the school has rewarded his honesty with 10 days of suspension.
And we wonder why our kids are afraid to tell us the truth? They know adults aren't always that trustworthy themselves!
The whole fiasco sounds like another case of "zero tolerance" gone too far, and I can't help but think of the message this sends to little kids. The school just basically told this little boy that he would have been better off hiding the gun all day, just moving along like it was never there.
If he'd done that, the school likely wouldn't have even known. They would never have thought to ask if Andrew was shooting with his grandpa over the weekend, never asked if he'd left the gun in his bag.
But Andrew Berry's parents -- his dad is in Afghanistan serving in the Army, by the way -- obviously did a good job with their son. They've raised the kind of kid who would be nagged by a lie of omission. They've raised the kind of kid I'm trying to raise.
I want my daughter to feel safe telling me the truth, and I try to make a point to praise her when she comes to me with a confession. She's just a kid, just a year younger than the boy with the BB gun, and she will make mistakes (actually, she'll make them for the rest of her life ... she's human!).
I don't promise that she will never have consequences for what she tells me, but she's learning that I'm pretty reasonable (or I try to be ... come on, we've all been there, right?). If I want her to be honest with me, I have to be reasonable. Otherwise I'll end up in the same boat as the schools: with kids who are scared to be honest.
What do you think should be done with this little boy? Should his suspension be wiped from the books or should he be held to it for bringing a gun to school?
Image journeyguy/Flickr
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Comments 35
missusmc - exactly. Because if you walk out of the store with something at the bottom of your cart that you didn't pay for, and as you are loading the packages in your car, you find the item, you better be ready for the consequences. You STOLE and you need to go to jail. It doesn't matter if you turn around and take it right back in and return the item with an apology. You stole it and need to pay the consequences.
Even though it wasn't intentional, he broke a rule. Sometimes life isn't fair, no matter your intentions. Sorry, kiddo...
Also what if this bb gun was loaded, and went off accidently and a child got hurt. That is what the school is punishing him for, and their in the right. He knows now and every child in that school to never bring a gun to school. His parents should be teaching him how to take care of his gun and not forget to store it in a safe place.
Okay. I will use a more extreme analogy. NOT the same thing, but actually much worse.
My sister's friend was driving when a child ran in front of him. The child was killed. He did not go to jail - it was accidental. However, if he had fled the scene or tried to cover it up he WOULD have been in a LOT of trouble and been put in jail.
I would say the child should not be punished. However, if he chose to hide it and the gun was discovered, THEN he should be suspended.