Last week, my 10-year-old son walked in and proclaimed, "Well, I learned some pretty inappropriate stuff in class today." Like most fifth graders, my kid rarely complains about hearing something he's not supposed to, but as it turned out, he was right ... or was he?
That day, a drugs and narcotics officer spoke to the class, which was all well and good. I'm sure I signed off on that lesson at some point. Though I don't recall signing off on a discussion that involved club drugs, pill parties, and roofies.
Yep, you heard me. Apparently, this lesson covered everything from the usual substances to why you should never leave your drink unattended in a club. Really?
Evidently, Officer Bill found it necessary to give fifth graders instructions on nightclub substance-of-choice etiquette. Are a lot of elementary school kids hittin’ the club circuit these days? One would think bouncers would be tipped off by their smooth baby faces, curveless bods, and the fact that they're around 4 feet tall, but who knows, maybe fake IDs nowadays are better than the ones floating around when I was 10.
Officer Bill went on to show graphic pictures of meth addicts that had scratched their arms down to the bone, and told tales of heroin users who stuck needles in their eyes ... because, well, as my son said, "She didn’t have any more good veins." "Well duh," I replied, trying not to act too shocked by the conversation I was in with my child.
Truth be told, that was the most animated and informative description I've gotten about school the entire year. Maybe ever. Point for Officer Bill: I can see why going into gruesome detail works. Yet, I still feel much of this lesson was a wee bit advanced. Officer Bill might as well have ended his talk by hurling condoms and syringes at the students while yelling, "And remember kids, keep it clean and covered ... never share needles or STDs!"
That said, I have to wonder, am I the naive one? Is this what my 10-year-old will soon be up against? Have elementary and middle school kids traded spin the bottle for pill parties?
Maybe, since I'm told they've already traded "Seven Minutes in Heaven" for "blow-job lines." (This totally baffles me, as I don't even like waiting in line for the ATM!)
Whether this lesson was the result of the world we live in, or simply a lesson more suitable for a 10th grader than a 10-year-old, I vow to be more prepared in the future! Yep, by Friday, I'll be ready to explain "key parties," threesomes, and why boys love the phrase "just the tip." Don't judge me, they get THAT sex talk next week!
What do you think? Was this TMI for a fifth grader?
Image via erix!/Flickr