A glimpse into my week.If I had to sum up just how nuts this past week has been for me in one word, I'd probably choose something along the lines of "insane" or "absolute hell." Ok, so that last one is actually two words, but who's counting.
My son has been sick -- really sick. Like the sickest I've ever seen him in all of his 6 years on this earth. And while being at home with a sick kid is never easy, being at home with a sick kid while still trying to work full-time from home is nothing short of ridiculously HARD.
And while I've done my very best to take good care of him and comfort him in any way I can -- I'll be the first to admit that I've had several moments where I've been frustrated and felt like I just couldn't take it anymore.
Between listening to endless bouts of coughing, running back and forth to the bathroom every ten minutes, and in the interim, cleaning up puke when he hasn't made it to the bathroom somewhere during those ten minutes, administering medicine, trying to fill requests for DVD changes and more saltine crackers and Gatorade, picking up the remnants of what is left of my house, finishing my work for the day, and possibly squeezing in a shower -- let's just say I've been a little more than overwhelmed.
And because of that, I've definitely said some things to my son that I regret. Scratch that -- I've said some things that make me feel like a really shitty mom. And none of these things were said because I don't care or because I'm missing a sensitivity chip or anything like that -- I'm simply at my wits end. In a nutshell -- I've HAD it.
But I'm hoping some of you will read this list of not-so-nice things I've said to my little guy and identify with it -- and maybe admit that you've said similar things on your more trying days as a parent as well.
"Stop that! You're gonna make me nuts!"
"Please don't do this to me. PLEASE."
"UGH. This is the LAST thing I need right now."
"I really don't have time for this."
"I'm doing the best I can. Give me a break, already!"
"I'm sorry. I can't read to you right now ... Mommy HAS to WORK!"
"Can you please turn that down? I can't concentrate!"
"Don't talk to me that way! Who has been here taking care of you all week?"
"I can't take it anymore. I can't do this anymore. ENOUGH, already."
"I've HAD it. I've HAD it. I've HAAAAAADDDDDD it."
OMG. Typing out those statements makes me feel like an even bigger failure as a mom. (I suck. Big time.) Go ahead and judge me if you must -- I definitely deserve it. For the record, I love my kid more than anything on the face of this earth -- but I'm only human. Everyone has their breaking point, I guess.
(I promise I'll do better the next time he gets sick. Sniff. Sniff.)
Have you ever said any of these things to your kids?
Image via Mary Fischer
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Comments 17
All the time, and the comments you said above really aren't that bad. I think its good that your children do see your furstration. It hapoen,s and they will get frustrated too. Sometimes yelling about it makes it all better LOL
I think in our day parenting is way different then our parents. My mom would have never let us watch tv or get out of our beds. She used to put down a bucket and leave us a glass of 7-up or tea, a box of crackers and some books. She would come and check in every so often but that was about it, She was a nurse so we were treated the same way as if she was working.
I now am pretty much the same. If my kids are sick, I feel resting is better for them. So they now stay in their rooms. I give them what they need and check up on them.
So I just suck up my feelings of guilt, be real, and hope that one day they know the indescribable joy and pain of being a mother, to know what it is like to love beyond human comprehension while still being OH SO human.
You are going to make yourself crazy over-analyzing and beating yourself up for every non-Mary Poppins thing you say. Give yourself a break.
My mom has actually said all of those to me except the work one throughout my life time(I've been sick quite a lot, used to have a terrible immune system, I blame daycare) and she is the most amazing mother in the world. I'm sure your son thinks the same of you.