We were standing in front of the chilly Ben & Jerry's glass, staring down at the fogged-in flavors. My older son had just finished his lengthy request for a scoop of vanilla in one of those criss-cross cones, you know, Mom, the big one with the thing that looks like a waffle, what's it called, oh yeah WAFFLE CONE, and my 4-year-old -- who was too shy to talk directly to the friendly girl behind the counter -- tugged on my pantleg until I bent down to listen to him. "The whistlepig," he whispered dramatically, "wants chocolate."
I straightened back up and started to relay his order, but she interrupted me with a grin. "Chocolate for the whistlepig," she said. "Got it."
So, yeah. My child has the most ridiculous nickname in the world, one that sounds like a bizarre rodent superhero: THE WHISTLEPIG. His brother? Well, he's known as THE PEANUT BUTTER MOUSE. Or sometimes THE MEEP-MEEP.
All I can tell you is that I didn't plan it this way.
Riley -- my 7-year-old -- earned his moniker a couple years ago when we were talking about getting up at night to avoid accidents. "What I need," he said plaintively, "is a tiny little mouse that sleeps in my bed with me and wakes me up when it's time to go."
"A pee mouse!" I said.
Somehow from that, a nickname was born. Riley was the Pee Mouse. My younger son, Dylan, became the Whistlepig, in honor of a Curious George episode he was fond of.
The Pee Mouse and the Whistlepig had many adventures together until Riley decided "pee mouse" sounded a little too silly, but "peanut butter mouse" would be okay. He also said that at least half of the time, he wanted to be referred to as the Meep-Meep. You know, after the Road Runner.
Dylan remains the Whistlepig, complete with third-person referrals to himself as such. "The whistlepig is hungry," he'll tell me. Or: "The whistlepig wants to go to the playground!" When he's feeling particularly generous and pleased, I'm sometimes a whistlepig too: "The mommy whistlepig is playing with the little whistlepig!"
I love these goofy nicknames because they're like shorthand for how we feel about each other. No one uses these names when they're grumpy or in trouble. ("THE WHISTLEPIG AND THE MEEP-MEEP NEED TO GO TO THEIR ROOMS RIGHT THIS INSTANT OR ELSE!") They're the baby-talk equivalent of a hug or a wink. They're the out-loud version of the secret hand squeezes we all give each other when we're out in public:
Three squeezes means I love you.
Two squeezes back means how much?
One final long hard squeeze means THIS much.
I suppose the Whistlepig and the Peanut Butter Mouse will eventually fade away. Maybe something new will take their place, but maybe not. Maybe -- probably? -- they'll decide they're too old for goofy nicknames. Will I remember, years from now? Will they? Ah, I hope so.
(THIS much, my beloved boys.)
Do you have silly nicknames in your family? Tell me about them!
Image via Linda Sharps


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Comments 39
My middle son is Booder. No idea why. He just is.
My youngest has several. Butt Muncher, Munch, Munchie, Turkey, Turk, etc. usually we call him Munch. He got that name because he bites my butt every time I go anywhere near the sink or the stove. He doesn't quite get the idea that food takes time to prepare, and gets very excited thinking it's time to eat whenever I'm near the stove. The nickname Turkey came about because he was so much bigger than expected when he was born. It was close to thanksgiving, and they said that he weighed 10 lbs and 11 oz. I said "Good greif! That's not a baby, that's a butterball turkey!" and it just stuck.
My daughter's name is Meagan, but when she was little she couldn't pronounce it right and she called herself Bacon. Hence Bacon and Beans was born. Now that she's six she hates it, but we keep chugging with it cause I think it's adorable.
This is such a sweet story. :) My 4 year old (Ava) is Princess, Monkey, or whatever we come up with. My 4 month old (Ruby) is Tookie or Muggle (courtesty of my Harry Potter-loving husband haha).
Lets see, My sister Mandy is Boo or Boo Boo, my Pappap called her that when she was born and it stuck, but it is only an immediate family thing. Everyone calls me Bean, or Jeannie Beannie, or some variation (my sister called me Bean Dean)
My nephew Jason is Bebo, It evolved some how from being called Baby B before he was born (last name is a B name) to just being called B to being Bebo, and sometimes Bebolicious. Because he is delicious lol (you know that game where you pretend to eat the kids arms and suck...yah thats where that came from) and even though he is 14 he is still my Bebo
My neice Kiki,(age 8) well Kiki itself is a nick name. Her real name is Kristina, but she was called Wookiee as a baby and she called herself Kiki when she learned to talk. I however call her Doodle much of the time, as in Doodle bug, don't know where it came from but it fits, she is always doodling or coloring.
Audrey my 13 year old niece is Alfie, her Initials are A L F, so it just stuck
My 5 year old nephew Jack is either Jack Jack or Buba, he asked me last summer what his nickname was because the other 3 have one and buba was the only thing I could think of off the top of my head lol
My son Cody became Coco (which at times we say like a monkey would because it's funnier). I also would call him Mook and Mookie but I don't know why!
We used to have a bedtime ritual where I would kiss him, sniff behind each ear, bite his nose and chin and then kiss him again. Don't know why or how that started but I was very sad when it ended (he was about 14 hahaha!)