9 Truly Twisted ‘Children’s’ Stories

Reading to KidsIn case your kids trying to shove costume catalogs in your face while you're trying to watch the Grey's Anatomy episode you DVR'd two weeks ago hasn't clued you in: Halloween is almost here! And now the same kids who are too scared to sleep without four night lights insist that they're up for some spooky Halloween stories.

If you have a kid like mine, you know if you treat your kid to an evening of ghost stories, you'll be treated to a night of a child sleeping in your bed, hogging the comforter. I have a better idea. How about just digging into the bookshelf for a couple stories actually made for kids? Half the stuff out there is so darn creepy we wonder if guys like the Brothers Grimm didn't have Halloween in mind to begin with ...

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1. Rumpelstiltskin: This one hits the trifecta of awful. First off we have a creepy dad who locks his daughter in a tower with a spinning wheel. Then there's the eponymous troll-like creature who suddenly appears, and agrees to spin straw into gold for. And to top it off, Rumpelstiltskin wants to steal her baby? Where to begin, where to begin ... how about by leaving the kid's light on? They're going to need it.

2. Hansel and Gretel: Repeat after me, "Witch who eats children." 'Nuff said.

3. Little Red Riding Hood: Why granny, what a big nightmare the kid is going to have after learning you were EATEN BY A WOLF.

4. Beauty and the Beast: Let's face it, even the Disney version is a little freaky. Dad gets kidnapped, girl goes to look for him, and what does she find? Talking candlesticks and a big ol' beast who wants to lock her in his house? Call us when Angela Lansbury starts singing.

5. Kettle-Head: Word has it the librarian at my elementary school used to read the story of a little girl whose head was burned RIGHT OFF for playing with fire. Parents, trust me, it's better to just say, "No! Hot!"

6. The Girl With the Green Ribbon: Another one I remember from elementary school that still gives me shivers. Know what happens when she takes off the ribbon (SPOILER ALERT)? Her head falls off, that's what.

7. Alice in Wonderland: So hard to decide if the cat whose body disappears all the time is freakier than the queen threatening to cut everyone's heads off. Decisions, decisions. 

8. Jack in the Beanstalk: Fee-fi-fo-fum, a giant grinding a kid's bones makes 'em want to run, run, run.

9. The Red Shoes: So your kids think it's torture when you make them take out the garbage? How about being forced to dance in a pair of shoes so long that your feet have to be chopped off?

What would you add to this list? What kid stories creep out your kid?

 

Image via US Army Africa/Flickr

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