Talking About Sex With Your Kids Shouldn't Be a Special Occasion

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Let's Talk MonthMost people connect October with Halloween or these days, Breast Cancer Awareness month. But apparently now, it's also Let's Talk Month. As in, to quote Salt and Pepa, "Let's talk about sex."
 
And while I believe that talking to our kids and teens about sex is important, we shouldn't just be limiting the talk to one month.

 

I admit that I'm glad Planned Parenthood is making such a big deal about talking to kids about sex because it really should be. Like many adults, as a kid, my parents completely ignored the conversation, probably due to discomfort and embarassment, and so I went through my childhood years, into high school, even college not clearly understanding how sex really worked, not just physically, but emotionally as well.

What, you mean oral sex isn't just when you talk about it?

And even worse, I never really felt comfortable talking to my parents about sex, something I know I don't want to happen with my own kids.

The problem is that the sex talk needs to start earlier than the teenage years. And as I wrote in my sex book for parents, the sex talk should be a fluid conversation that happens all the time so that your kids feel comfortable coming to you when they need to. Not just when your kids ask you questions. Not just when your child has sex education at school. And certainly not just during a specific month.

So let's take this opportunity to start the conversation and continue it. Not just because Planned Parenthood or Sex in the City's Cynthia Nixon says so. But because it's an important part of being a good parent to our kids, and making them responsible adults.

How and when are you talking to your own kids about sex?

 

Photo via Planned Parethood

 

sex & dating

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Bonnie Bruns Williams

I have 4 kids, two older and two younger ones.  The older ones (11 and 9) have grown up talking and asking questions about sex/related topics.  My husband and I never wanted our children to learn that kind information from outside sources.  We have always believed that kind of teaching should be done at home. We started talking about how babies are born/made while I was visibly pregnant with our #3 (our older kids were 4 1/2 and 6 at the time).  We don't ever set a specific time to "talk"... sometimes the topic just naturally comes up, whether due to a song they hear or a billboard they see during a car ride. We are always available to talk and answer any questions that may arise.  So far, they aren't too weirded out by having such discussions with their folks! Our goal is to have an open dialogue with them through out their childhood so that when they hit their teen years, they will (hopefully) feel that they have us as the first option to discuss big decisions and actions.  So far so good!

megle... meglennox

i dont' know how i'll broach the subject with our boys.  they are currently 5yrs, 3yrs, and 15months. i will answer their questions truthfully on their level of understanding as they ask them. i don't want to have them be embarrased to ask questions but i know there will be at least some discomfort for either me or them lol and i know some questions will need to be answered by the father. :) 

nates... natesmom1228

My son is 11 and I have always talked to him about sex since he could talk. I tell him things in terms he can understand. I don't use cutsy words for body parts. He can talk to me about anything. He recently asked me how to talk to girls without looking like a weirdo, lol. We had a very lengthy conversation about it.

Rosas... RosasMummy

Talking about sex has always been no big deal for me and my mum, but around my dad and my brother it's always been absolutely not spoken about, so although at the moment I only have one daughter and I feel totally calm and confident talking to her when shes able to understand, I really do feel quite nervous at the idea of ever having a son to explain it to. Maybe my fiancé cando that haha

Madel... Madelaine

Good article!

4kidz916 4kidz916

Interesting.  I never knew October was also sex communication month. 

ceciliam ceciliam

My son is only 6 but I will always answer any questions he may have (relative to his age). I am in no way afraid or embarassed to talk about sex and things that are natural.

MamaB... MamaBear2cubs

I will talk about it as they start to get curious

timon95 timon95

no, we have not had any talks just yet about sex.

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