raising boysDear Adriana: I'm raising a young boy and I want him to grow up to be a big, strong man. But I also want to make sure he's a sexist asshole who can't cope with everyday civilized life in these modern times. I want him to feel totally out of sync with the rest of the world's sexual politics. I want women to avoid him like the plague and for men to be embarrassed around him. What's the most important thing I can do?

Fake letter writer who I just made up, I'm glad you asked that question! I have a book for you. It will do all of these things for your son. It's called Raising Boys Feminists Will Hate by Doug Giles. Let me tell you more about this extremely useful tome.

And because honestly, I couldn't possibly put it better myself, here is the book description from the back cover.

Parent, if you have a young son and you want him to grow up to be a man, then you need to keep him away from pop culture, public school and a lot of Nancy Boy churches. If metrosexual pop culture, feminized public schools and the effeminate branches of evanjellycalism lay their sissy hands on him, you can kiss his masculinity good-bye because they will morph him into a dandy. Yeah, mom and dad, if -- if -- you dare to raise your boy as a classic boy in this castrated epoch, then you’ve got a task that’s more difficult than getting a drunk to hit the urinal at Chili’s. Read this bold and hard-hitting guide by Doug Giles, the politically incorrect master, on how to raise your son in a world which more and more seems to hate masculinity.

First of all, what's with the "if -- if -- " ??? It sounds like someone just dictated this thing while driving through Los Angeles traffic about five seconds before he blew his gasket, tore out of his car, and took a nine-iron to the car in front of him. Also, anyone who coins the word "evanjellycalism" is not exactly winning in the traditional hetero-masculine behavior department. Just saying. But I digress.

So. Last time I checked this world was still pretty smitten with masculinity. But fine, you've noticed our world is slowly changing and that makes certain people feel very uncomfortable. Here's a way to pass on your discomfort to your children. What a gift! Hangups.

I was relieved to learn that Giles does not actually have a son. Phew! And wow -- not being a parent of a boy must give him special invisible insight on what it really is like to raise a boy nowadays. Also, his daughters look kind of feminist-ish to me. But whatever. Obviously that's not the word he would use to describe them.

Now let's talk about feminism: That's about getting paid the same for equal work, having access to safe and reliable birth control options, and generally being treated with the same respect men get. Little by little we're making some headway here. You could raise your son to feel like this is a threat or you could raise a son with some inner resilience who is capable of seeing girls and women as their equal. I wonder which way is going to help your son get further in life? I mean really, deliberately raising a child in order to attract ire from one particular group of people -- how does that help your kid at all?

It's so sad that anyone feels like the world needs this book. What we really need is for men who are threatened by feminists to just pull up their big-boy pants and stop whining about sharing your toys. As for my young son, I want him to grow up to be a man. A REAL man. A man who can adapt to a changing world and live in harmony and strength, because the two are not mutually exclusive.

Do you think our culture really feminizes boys?

 

Image via Amazon