Elizabeth Hurley bikini lineMove over Jessica Simpson! British actress Elizabeth Hurley has moved into the role of famous mom who dares to dress little girls in bikinis, and the controversy over her new swimwear line for kids is nearly as silly as the scandal over "sexy" baby Maxwell wearing a two-piece.

Actually, scratch that. What's silly is that Hurley has added bikinis for itty bitty girls to her clothing line to begin with.

Doesn't she know bikinis for little girls are a complete pain in the tuchus?

My 7-year-old daughter would fit right into the age range for Hurley's line, but you won't see me buying one any time soon. And let me just make this clear up front: it has nothing to do with "sexualizing" young girls.

There is nothing sexy about a little girl in a bikini ... at least not to normal, everyday Americans who look at little girls and see little girls. There is a lot to complain about though.

Just for starters, can we talk about little girls' complete inability to keep these things in place? Without breasts to catch on, the teeny weeny triangles on top tend to move around, exposing the nipples they were made to cover. The bottoms, on the other hand, are subject to being caught on the pool ladder and getting yanked down by the weight of the water, leaving our girls with no coverage for their private parts.

Then there's that huge expanse of skin that's left open when a little girl is wearing a two-piece bathing suit instead of a one-piece or a rashguard. All that bare skin has to be coated in sunblock multiple times by a parent, and judging by the way my daughter squirms during the sunblock application, this is a process the CIA could start using on terrorist suspects to elicit information.

And if that isn't enough, we moms have to deal with idiots who insist that we're practically begging the pedophiles to make off with our daughters if we place them in a bikini. 

The fact is, there are enough bathing suits out there to satisfy the masses without all the hassles. Maybe Elizabeth Hurley and her ilk should stick to marketing those to our girls, and we can move on to the next controversy (formula anyone?).

Do you let your daughter wear a bikini?

 

Image via ElizabethHurley.com