First it was dodgeball. Now the age-old tradition of father/daughter dances at school is being phased out. But don't worry! Mother/son traditions are getting the heave-ho too.
A Rhode Island school district is blazing the trail, calling these gender-specific activities "discriminatory" after a single mom complained that her kid was left out of a daddy/daughter event because she didn't have a dad to accompany her. As a married mom, I can't agree with them more.
We live in a world where 11.7 million households have a single parent at the helm. We live in a world where same sex couples are finally making headway in the fight to adopt and raise kids. Telling girls they need to bring a daddy to an event or boys that they need a mommy is automatically cutting out a whole lot of kids, distancing them from their peers in a time when kids are already so split that we have a bullying epidemic on our hands.
These kids don't need another reason to feel uncomfortable around their classmates, especially not in the so-called "safe space" that a school is supposed to provide.
And quite frankly, neither do parents ... any parent, whether single, gay, or partnered up with someone of the opposite sex.
We don't need to hear from the school that one gender of parent is more important than the other. Maybe it's because I grew up in a poor school district that didn't have the fund for these gender-specific events anyway, but I've never quite gotten the allure of one parent in particular being lauded over the other.
Last year my daughter's teacher sent home an invite to help make gingerbread houses that specifically stated there was room for only one adult helper per child. We let our daughter choose, and she picked my husband. Technically it was better for us based on work schedules, but I won't say it didn't hurt a bit.
I want to be there for the moments big and small ... and so does my husband. That's part of being a parent. The two of us have made a point of deciding who goes to events at school based on our family's needs, not on some outdated notion that little girls need their daddies more and little guys are mama's boys.
What's your take on daddy/daughter and mother/son events at schools?
Image via sameliaz8/Flickr
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Comments 71
Imagine if another parent at your kids' school reads this, then their kid overhears them talking about it. They'll go to school and torment her
"Haha your dad's in jail! What a loser!"
It would serve her better for you to distract her and give her a special day on the dance days, than to let her sit and pine away over someone that will never be there for her, and to dwell on the fact that he's incarcerated
Good grief. Why does everyone have to get their feelings hurt over every little thing? I'm not rich and neither are most Americans, does that mean Hollywood should stop hosting their extravagant parties? Come on....
When has being so PC become such a Pain in the Butt. Should the whole world roll over and play dead because Sally or Johny doesn't have a Daddy or a Mommy to do these special events with. Too bad. Life is not fair and people should not be breaking the rules to try to make it fair. Because you will never make it fair for everyone. I never got the Father/Daughter dance because my dad died of cancer, but I will never stand in the way of other Father/Daughter having that dance. Parents grow a pair and let the kids suffer a little pain, it is good for them, it builds strength of character.
First of all, could you please report the complete story?? The school system did not want to ban these type of events. When the mother in question complained, the school made it clear that it wasn't just for dads and she was more than welcome to have her daughter bring anyone she wished. Instead, the mom called the ACLU which crawled all over the school like a rash. They didn't even label the event as father / daughter, they called it " Me and my Guy"
And I'm sorry, Mrs. Sager, but the argument from you and the ACLU is absolutely laughable. This is NOT a romantic date event, it is a night to encourage bonding between young girls and an adult role model. I think we can all agree children need adults they can look up to.
I wouldn't know because my school didn't have them, but I don't believe they should be band. I come from a divorced family, so I wouldn't have been able to go to it if I wanted to, but It wouldn't have bothered me. I think this one parent is just being ignorant. Its just a dance, your kid will get over it.