Schools Should Ban Special Daddy/Daughter & Mother/Son Events

Rant 71

daddy daughter danceFirst it was dodgeball. Now the age-old tradition of father/daughter dances at school is being phased out. But don't worry! Mother/son traditions are getting the heave-ho too.

A Rhode Island school district is blazing the trail, calling these gender-specific activities "discriminatory" after a single mom complained that her kid was left out of a daddy/daughter event because she didn't have a dad to accompany her. As a married mom, I can't agree with them more.

We live in a world where 11.7 million households have a single parent at the helm. We live in a world where same sex couples are finally making headway in the fight to adopt and raise kids. Telling girls they need to bring a daddy to an event or boys that they need a mommy is automatically cutting out a whole lot of kids, distancing them from their peers in a time when kids are already so split that we have a bullying epidemic on our hands.

These kids don't need another reason to feel uncomfortable around their classmates, especially not in the so-called "safe space" that a school is supposed to provide.

And quite frankly, neither do parents ... any parent, whether single, gay, or partnered up with someone of the opposite sex.

We don't need to hear from the school that one gender of parent is more important than the other. Maybe it's because I grew up in a poor school district that didn't have the fund for these gender-specific events anyway, but I've never quite gotten the allure of one parent in particular being lauded over the other.

Last year my daughter's teacher sent home an invite to help make gingerbread houses that specifically stated there was room for only one adult helper per child. We let our daughter choose, and she picked my husband. Technically it was better for us based on work schedules, but I won't say it didn't hurt a bit.

I want to be there for the moments big and small ... and so does my husband. That's part of being a parent. The two of us have made a point of deciding who goes to events at school based on our family's needs, not on some outdated notion that little girls need their daddies more and little guys are mama's boys.

What's your take on daddy/daughter and mother/son events at schools?


Image via sameliaz8/Flickr

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jalaz77 jalaz77

They do these BECAUSE of single parents. No they shouldn't be banned. Single parents have to explain to their children why they don't have a daddy or a mommy all throughout that child's life so why do others have to be punished??

purpl... purpleflower514

I think they are sweet traditions. If you don't like it then don't go.

nonmember avatar ACE

At my kids' school they are allowed to bring an alternate to the dance. If they don't have a dad they can bring a grandparent/relative, neighbor, family friend or even their mother and the same goes for mommy/son dances. I don't think they should be banned. Everyone is too sensitive.

nonmember avatar mjce

You don't have to go if you don't want to or can't. My children don't care to do those things, so my husband and I don't go. They aren't the only ones that don't go, so they aren't singled out. It's a nice tradition, and once again, the minority ruins it for the majority!

Maias... MaiasMommy619

Are you stupid or something!? Just cause some kids grow up in a single parent home doesn't mean that the kids that have both parents need to suffer or visa versa. You sound like a bitter person for whatever reason. Oh the child felt left out!? I'm sorry... That's life.

nonmember avatar Kristi

Don't think they should be banned but as an army brat who's dad was usually in the field/working and unable to come to a lot of school events I recognize how these things can make you feel if you have a dad unable/unwilling to attend. Its less then fun and I can see why a single parent would be upset that a school function was making their kid feel that way.

2boys... 2boysmama311

That should absolutely not be banned. For crying out loud, having a special evening with one parent is a nice thing, not a one parent is more special than the other thing. We have become so politically correct as a country, we are just getting stupid. Generally speaking, if there is a not a mother or father available, an aunt/uncle, grandfather/grandmother, etc.. will step in. Because someone is a single parent, they do not get to dictate that an event shouldn't happen. 

geeky... geekychick

They should be parent and daughter night or parent and son events. I had both parents but my dad could never make it and I am a single mom with a son. He knows he doesnt have a dad so I take him. There is no reason to punish a child by telling them they cant come.

nonmember avatar angie

So going with this logic I should be able to day i'm descriminated against because I don't have a son

Miche... Michelephant

Why not let the single parent attend the event instead.  If it's a father / daughter dance let mom, uncle, Aunt or any other important person attend if it means that much to the kid.  That seems like a better option then banning these things all together.  I feel like a lot of these events may be to encourage a relationship with the opposite sex parent when the kid and parent may not be able to think of a way to bond themselves.

And I agree that heather is quite the douche nozzle 

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