25 Common Momisms We Swear We'll Never Say (But Always Do)

Being a Mom 79

A A few weeks ago, the inevitable happened: I turned into my mother.

It happened at Nordstrom Rack where my daughter relentlessly begged for a t-shirt that I refused to buy. "Lily," I calmly said, "I refuse to pay 20 dollars for a shirt that has holes in it. If you want a shirt with holes, go home and rip one that you own."

And then it hit me. My mother had said the exact same thing to me 30 years before. I cried and cried for the acid wash jeans and the holey shirts and she refused. I swore that when I had kids someday, I would buy the trendy clothes for them unlike my mean mother and break this vicious cycle. So, of course, I bought Lily the damn shirt and rolled my eyes the whole time.

Seems I'm not the only one who says things I swore I wouldn't. I posed the question on my Facebook page, and here are my favorite replies. And, yes, I think I've said them all.

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1. Because I said so, that's why!

2. If you make that face for too long, it will stay like that.

3. Life isn't fair, get over it.

4. Go ask your Dad.

5. When I was your age ...

6. I'll give you something to cry about.

7. What part of NO don't you understand?

8. Go away!

9. I'm your mother, not your maid!

10. If you roll your eyes at me again, I'll smack them into next week.

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11. I brought you into this world, I will take you out!

12. Serves you right.

13. Get a grip!

14. I hope you have 10 kids just like you!

15. What's wrong with you???

16. You'll miss me when I'm gone one day, trust me.

17. If you want to act like a little shit, go lay in the yard.

18. You are driving me out of my damn mind.

19. I'm telling your father!

20. Don't make me pull this car over!

21. It's all mine until you're 18, deal with it.

22. I'm not asking you, I'm TELLING you.

23. I don't care what the other kids' parents said, I said no.

24. If all of your friends jumped off a bridge, would you??

25. I am NOT a referee in this house!

What do YOU say that you swore you never would?


Image via Scary Mommy

behavior, discipline, clothes

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Danie Rangel

i love 17 im gonna use it....

and what i hate that i always use is
stop making that damn face, fix ur face or ill make it uglier

MomOkj MomOkj

I use #7, and is it lack of ethnic posting presence that I have yet to see, "I'm gonna smack the taste out of your mouth"?

ibebr... ibebreezy

Change that lookon your face before i do

nonmember avatar New Mom

My mom used every single one except 17 but if she knew a out it she would of, but needless to say my brother and I grew up just fine and I'll most likely use a lot of these! Thanks for a good Monday laugh :)

mandy... mandy0812

#17&18 are pretty intense I didn't know we could say that. Lmao!

antsb... antsbaybie

My aunt..who practically raised me use to tell us that she would beat the blood out of us...never happened but we knew not to get on her bad side!!

Casey Corey

Oh God, the uptight anon. Why can't people just laugh at things in life? Why does everything have to turn into a constant attack against someone else and their parenting style? Jesus. INSECURITY!

Angelynn Pierce

I'm really suprised I haven't seen this oldie.....


"Close the door!! Were you born in a barn?!!"

wakymom wakymom

When my kids whine about having to carry their own stuff, I tell them, "I'm am your mother, not a pack mule." : )

Kerry Battle

"If you don't calm down and let me brush your hair, I'll have to cut it off."  "You don't want to clean your room? Well, I don't want to hear you whine about, so I guess we're both out of luck."

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