Honey Boo Boo Child! Look, I don't want to get into some big ol' debate about Go-Go Juice or not-so-house-trained tiara-wearing pigs as pets or giving newborns Mountain Dew or, most of all, whether making a 6-year-old pageant queen the spokesperson for Redneck America is even anywhere near the vicinity of appropriate. Nope, I don't want to get into any of that. Because none of that stuff is what this family is really about. Forget about the neck crust and bobbing for pig's feet.
This family's true talent? Nicknames. Yup, nicknames. Obviously, Honey Boo Boo Child herself wins the crown for best moniker, but the rest of the family didn't do too shabby, either:
Between Pumpkin, Chickadee, Sugar Bear, Chubbs -- and of course, Glitzy the Pig -- the only member of the Boo Boo bunch who didn't get a beautimous nickname is Mamma (though she does that that extra "m," so I guess all's fair).
Truly, after spending some quality time on the couch with Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, don't be surprised to find yourself feeling a little ... left out. Hey, y'all got nicknames and I ain't got none! If you're a parent, like me, you might even begin to worry that you've scarred your child for life by not coming up with a cutesy given name-alternative fit for a high-fructose corn syrup-addicted cartoon character on a cereal box.
Well, worry no more, because the Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Nickname Generator is here! Simply plug your first and last name into the appropriate spaces, and the handy-dandy generator will do the rest. Now I can start my life anew as (drumroll): Jinxy Boo Bear! Yeah, you better redneckognize!
Can't wait to tell my kids, Crybaby Willy and Jackpot Woo Woo!
(Also, hope you don't have anything important to do for the rest of the day. This thing is more fun than a bucket o' roadkill.)
What's your Honey Boo Boo nickname?
Image via TLC