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Friending Your Child's Teacher on Facebook Is a Really Bad Idea

by Deborah Cruz on September 5, 2012 at 7:05 AM

Facebook Many of us meet our children’s teachers and hit it off. Quite frequently the teachers are in our same age group and may even have students in the same school. It’s very easy for the line between teacher and friend to become blurred, especially if you are a room mother or spend a lot of time in the classroom volunteering. But should you ever be friends with your child’s teacher on Facebook or other social media sites?

No matter the situation, the answer is the same ...

Hell, no!

It may seem like a great idea at first. Who doesn’t secretly want to know what their child’s teacher is up to in her time off. I think we’d all like to know indefinitely that our child’s teacher is beyond moral reproach, and what’s more convincing than a Facebook page filled with statuses of Bible versus or photos of her children playing quietly while Mommy reads her Bible study?

But let's not forget, if you can see everything Teacher is up to, she can see everything you're up to as well. Do you really want Mrs. McGillicutty of the second grade to know all of your personal business?

My girls go to a private Catholic school and I'm pretty sure no teacher would find my pro-choice Facebook statuses to be a good thing. At school, I present myself as a well-intentioned room mother who volunteers her time and talents wherever and whenever the school might have a need. I am an upstanding member of the school community and HASA. I work hard to keep this image at school. It serves me well.

I don’t need Mrs. McGillicutty seeing a wall post from my college roomie in reference to the girl she knew back then drinking too much at a frat party and vomiting in the quad. I don’t want the school faculty finding my blog.

Not to mention, what my daughter’s 25-year-old teacher does when she’s outside of the classroom (as long as it doesn’t involve the authorities or spill over into the classroom) isn't really my business. I think it’s best for everyone if we keep our relationship professional. If there is truly a friendship there, we can become Facebook friends when my kid is no longer her student.

Would you friend your child’s teacher on social media?


Image via Marco Pako/Flickr

Filed Under: internet, school, facebook

Comments

25
  • TKsMo...
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    TKsMommie

    September 5, 2012 at 7:07 AM

    I have friended one of my kids' teachers.  But since being my son's teacher she has become one of my closest friends.  The day he walked into her classroom was great for both of us!!


  • Evaly...
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    EvalynCarnate

    September 5, 2012 at 7:44 AM

    I wouldnt friend my kid's teacher...but thats not to say I "pretend" I'm some one I'm not when I'm in front of her either. The parent, teacher relationship should remain as professional (for lack of a better word) as possible in my opinion. Of course, there are always exceptions..


  • bills...
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    billsfan1104

    September 5, 2012 at 8:16 AM
    I dont. And I dont friend my managers either.
  • kaerae
    -- Nonmember comment from

    kaerae

    September 5, 2012 at 8:44 AM
    I agree, It's very unprofessional on the teacher's end. She's to remain impartial to all her students, and it's hard to maintain the appearance of that when some parents are her fb friends. I think it's even more inappropriate for teachers to fb friend their students. We have a HS teacher in our district who posts religious/political rants on her page and then fb friends all her students. She teaches speech and English, so it's difficult for a student to feel that they won't be graded on whether or not she agrees with their view rather than the reasoning and delivery of their speech. Some districts ban friending students until they graduate, I wish ours would since teachers can't seem to be professional enough to do this on their own!
  • sigh
    -- Nonmember comment from

    sigh

    September 5, 2012 at 11:14 AM
    You're lying when you present yourself as a 'well intentioned room mother'? Are you serious? Then what the hell are you otherwise? You're either a hypocrite or a fake...either way, it's probably how you got to work at The Stir. Q
  • Pamala
    -- Nonmember comment from

    Pamala

    September 5, 2012 at 12:09 PM
    I only friended my daughter's teacher after the school year was over. We've kept in contact, plus we do have some mutual family friends.
  • GlowW...
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    GlowWorm889

    September 5, 2012 at 1:44 PM

    As a teacher, I would never friend my student parents. One, it's none of their business what I do in my private time (though I lead a pretty boring life...I doubt there would be any complaints) and none of my business what you do in your private life unless it threatens your child's safety (teachers are mandatory reporters of child abuse). Two, it's unprofessional. Three, it undermines my professional authority when a parent assumes that becaue we're "buddy-buddy" I'd show their child special favor.


  • GlowW...
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    GlowWorm889

    September 5, 2012 at 1:44 PM

    *students'


  • Thesi...
    -- Nonmember comment from

    Thesimpletruth

    September 5, 2012 at 2:24 PM
    The teachers/school staff are not allowed to friend students or their parents in our district....even if you're real life friends or were Facebook friends prior to. It's been a HUGE deal where I live. Teachers send home a note on the first day of school reminding parents not to send a friend invite.
  • Todd...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Todd Vrancic

    September 5, 2012 at 3:24 PM

    I think I'd worry if I found my way to my kids' teachers' facebook pages and found an endless stream of bible quotes, especially if they taught science!


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