10 Back-to-School Mom Confessions

Being a Mom 73

It's that time again, fellow moms. The time when we stock up on endless pencils and tissues and antibacterial wipes for a brand new classroom. When we shop for shiny, clean backpacks and retire the swimsuits for soccer cleats. When we force our kids to smile for new school year photos and kiss up to a whole new group of teachers. In other words? It's the very best time of the year.

Oh, c'mon. I know at least some of you are on the same page as me.

According to my Confessional, at least, I'm not the only one who has chills about my kids' return to a regular routine (and some distance from me). See? Here you have it: The way moms really feel about that first day back to school ...

1. I am going to dance out of school on their first day back. No, not dance. I am going to ROCK IT!

2. Would it be wrong to send the teacher a bottle of vodka on the first day of school? With my kid, she's going to need it. Better her than me.

3. I spent a fortune on "cool" clothes for my kid in hopes that they help this year. I fear that they won't.

4. My girlfriends and I have a tradition of dropping the kids off on the first day of school and making a pitcher of mimosas to down while we toast to freedom. Woo-hoo!

More from The Stir: How Not to Be the 'Hated' Parent This School Year

5. We've had a great summer. I've loved the lazy days and the family time, but I am so ready for school to start that I can taste it.

6. The sight of the school bus rounding our corner is the most beautiful sight on earth.

7. Sometimes, usually in May, I consider homeschooling. And then comes August and I come to my senses.

8. I stalk the bus on the first day of school. Not because I'm so sad they're leaving, but because I want the perfect picture for my blog.

9. I make a delicious breakfast spread on the first day of school, not for the kids to celebrate, but for me to start my favorite day of the year off right.

10. 5 days, 13 hours, 27 minutes, and 6 seconds until the first school drop-off. Who's counting? I AM.


Image via Scary Mommy

function (obj) { return this.indexof(obj) >= 0; }, back to school, behavior


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Zamaria Zamaria

I hate it when my kids go back to school because when they're home they entertain my 2 year old. He's Sooooo bad when they're gone. :/

Wish2Be Wish2Be

Aww number 3 is sad.....my sister feels the same way though ...

morga... morgani6904

the countdown for me started the beginning of this month. My kids started back last Wednesday.

Bryanne Peterson

I recognize this is supposed to be light-hearted and amusing, but I can't help but be offended on two fronts. First, the stereotype of the stay-at-home mom is perpetuated as the bon-bon eating, soap opera watching, "all about me" woman who sits on the couch with a chip on her shoulder. And second, because it doesn't even address the mom's that home school (other than to joke about them in the graphic) or working moms. What a waste, I was actually hoping for something that made ME feel included.

momof... momof030404

I'm so sorry you are so happy to unload your own children on someone else......

the4m... the4mutts

Author: omg!! I think you live in my brain lol

I miss my kids when they're in school, terribly. And normally I am not excited for school to start. But this year, my 2 oldest are in school full time, my 4y/o is in pre-school half time, and I get some alone time with my 3y/o son. I have NEVER had steady one-on-one time with him.

I cried the night before my kids started school this year. Then the SECOND I walked in the house after drop off, it was like heaven! I have never enjoyed anything more lol

I made a nice snack for my 3y/o & myself, had wine at noon while he napped, did some crafts while he sat quietly watching me... yeah. I'm overjoyed to "pawn my kids off on someone else" every day.

Marja Panetta

if your so eager to send your kids away and let the system raise them why on earth did your birth them????? this is  what is so wrong with this world lets let someone else do our job.. yes having kids is hard and a break now and again is nice but but come on wake up and see that rejoicing in sending them away is nuts

nonmember avatar Nicole

Re: the homeschool dig... Today is the first day back to school for our local district. My homeschooled daughters laughed as the buses drove down the road and plan to spend the "first day of school" shopping. So I have lots of reasons to celebrate. Everyone else's special snowflakes are back in their cages and the rest of us can enjoy being in out and about again.

mallo... mallowcup17

interesting. 3 is definitely sad though :( the rest of it is pretty funny...

momof... momof030404

I have no  problem with parents that PS their kids. I don't even have a problem with them being excited about the first day of school. However if you post a smart ass, bitchy picture that like that comes off as very judgemental (read: not funny to those you are talking about) you should probably expect a judgemental, bitchy response......I mean it was meant to be funny :)

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