We all know those moms, the ones with the great wardrobes, spotless and gorgeously decorated homes, active social lives, hot, sexy, connected marriages, successful careers, and wonderful kids.
They seem to have some magic potion that makes everything they touch turn perfect, we think, looking at the messy chaos of our own lives. But no. Either we're not seeing the cracks, because they are putting enormous amounts of energy into making sure their exteriors never look less than perfect, or they have figured out what they need to make their life work and do it, other people's opinions notwithstanding.
Karen Walrond of Chookoloonks fame takes on the "having it all" question in the newest edition of CafeMom Studios' The Karen Walrond Show. She and friend Jen Lee talk about what "having it all" actually means, and how they find ways to achieve it. Read on for their tips.
The most important thing is figuring out what is important to you; not what you think you should care about, or what society or the media tells you you should care about, but what genuinely matters to you. That's different for everyone, and only you get to define it.
Next, you need to figure out how you're going to make "it all" work. Jen Lee works at home and expected at first she'd be as productive as she was in an office job, without child care. As all work-at-home moms know: Hah. Nope. So she and her husband reassess every six months or so how their schedules might need to shift. That might mean working early before the kids get up or after they are in bed or getting help so you're not always juggling a baby in one arm and the laptop in the other.
Get your spouse involved and find ways to carve out time together. For example, Jen's husband puts their kids to bed while she does the dishes; when they are both done, they have the evening to enjoy together. Karen and her husband do Friday movie nights at home and then Saturday morning pancakes. Little rituals like that give you something to look forward to and make you feel more connected.
Finally, and this is probably the biggest key to happiness ever, is to forget about comparisons. Instead of looking at how perfect other people are, focus on identifying and nurturing that which makes you happy. And hey, there's a good chance someone is looking at your imperfect, messy, happy life and wishing they were more like you!
Check out the video below for more, including the best analogy for defining having it all you'll ever hear:
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What does "having it all" mean to you?
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