Would you lie about being a mother in order to get a job in this economy? A down economy is hurting a lot of families. There are a lot of unemployed people out there and a lot of those people are moms. A new study, which looked at the outcomes for laid-off workers across the United States, found that married women with kids, moms just like you and me, spent more time in between jobs than married dads. Why you ask?
Employers see women who have children as a liability because they might put their children first. *Gasp* Isn't that exactly what people are supposed to do? Put their children first. Isn't that the first line of the new parent handbook?
So how do moms get around being penalized for being mothers by potential employers? Simple, we don’t disclose it in the interview. Legally an employer can’t ask if you have children or if you are pregnant. Of course, if you are nine months along, there’s no purse in the world that is going to be able to hide that. I say we take the don’t ask, don’t tell offense.
Why should women disclose the information that we have little people that we love more than any job if it’s only going to result in discrimination? If I’m going to be judged by an employer for being a mommy rather than my merits as a worker, then I’d rather just take my family out of the hiring equation. When my kids need me, I will just take my personal days.
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For the record, I think this is bullshit. Why should I have to lie about my role as a mother to get a job? I shouldn't, but this is the world we live in. It’s not my dependability or skill level as a worker that is in question. The issue employers have is that mothers have an obligation to the children that they brought into the world, an innate sense of loyalty and love that cannot ever be trumped by a career. Employers fear moms won’t be as committed or available to their job as their dad counterparts.
Sure a career is important to us. We go to college just like dads. We work hard to build our careers and we love what we do. We just love our kids more. By the way, if you ask most dads, I’m sure they love their kids more than their jobs too. But no one ever asks them.
A mom might need more flexibility in her schedule than someone who doesn't have children. Our children are the priority, but the same skills that make us great mothers (driven, caring, organized multitaskers, skilled in time management, able to coordinate schedules, and oversee many different personalities) will make us assets in any work place.
Would you lie about being a mother in order to get the job?
Image via Victor 1558/Flickr
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Comments 76
I also understand why they are hesitant to hire people with kids also tough. I've been working since I've been 16 and am now 24 with no children and other people having kids affects me at times.
I am usually the one who would have to stay and work extra hours if a parent had to leave for their children or I would have to take on extra work if they had to leave early. Then all I would get is "well they have kids and you don't" well its my choice to not have kids and I'm pretty sure the people who have kids had some say in the situation. there are times even I am like can we stop hiring people with kids because there is always someone calling out because their kid is sick and they have no baby sitter or what ever the situation is. But I know we can't do that.
But if someone is definitely qualified for the job whether or not they have kids shouldn't matter. At least give them a chance and if its constant calling out then go from there.
That being said, I agree with the poster who stated that hiring managers will be able to determine in an interview relatively easily if a woman has children. I would never lie in an interview but I wouldn't volunteer personal info either.
Its not really lying. Its protecting your privacy. No one needs to know about your home life, only professional life.
I don't understand how this situation is lying.
They are not suppose to ask you about children and you don't have to tell them about children. So what is the lie?
Why do you keep saying lying? It's not lying. I don't mention much about my personal life when being interviewed. Kids = personal life.
A potential employer wants someone to do the job. And if I am yammering on and on about my kids it gives a very unprofessional feel to the interview.
I wouldn't lie, but, like others said, I wouldn't feel the need to disclose that information in an interview. If the person conducting the interview figures it out, that's one thing. Because, even if they do figure it out, they can't come right out and ask you.
Yes, I would lie and here is why. I was laid off and out looking for a new job, on my first interview one "interviewer" asked me what my hours were like and availability i told her.. then she asked if i had a family and kids.. I didn't think twice and said "two kids" immediately the 3 WOMEN interviewing me looked at my finger.. no ring (divorced). Then went on to ask questions such as how will i be able to juggle kids and work and blah blah blah. I told themit isn't an issue I've been doing it for 5 years and that i am more than qualified for the job if given a chance they would see. I think it was very wrong and not their business. In the end she said they wanted someone with more flexibility... which was ironic i had just told her my hours were flexible! Anywho, from then on out I refusedoffer up any tidbits of my personal life. I ended up getting a better job that didn't question my personal life during the interview. I shared the information when i started and that was that. But it definitely is not fair, a man would never be questioned about his abilities to juggle work and family, single or married. And, no offense to anyone, but the people who say it's is horrible to lie about are probably not a single parent who is the only one supporting their children.
I get it. I know the reputation that moms have. I fight against it every day. Working moms have to work harder than other employees to prove their worth. It's not fair but we are up for the challenge! Moms are better at multitasking and have more patience. Moms have more reason to work hard - our kids are depending in us!,